APPLE patents tech that would let the government DISABLE iPhone camera, video, wireless.

Obey! Big Brother!

Well isn’t this neat! Ain’t nothing like being in the middle of a protest, or you know, a Nickleback concert when all of a sudden The Man shuts down your ability to document something very gnarly. Like all ill-nasty Chad Kroeger solo. Right? I mean, that’s all we have to worry about.

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Apple wasn’t to blame for blocking ‘SAGA’, but they still pretty much suck.


As the world fucking turns! Apparently it wasn’t those Techno-Fascists at Apple who banned Saga #12 from the digital comic shelves. No sir, no ma’am. Turns out that ComiXology never even submitted it to them for approval. The company claims that it didn’t have to do with any particular sexual orientation, but can we just throw the flag on that bullshit? What then – what magical thing in the twelfth issue – prompted them to forego submitting it? ‘Cause they’ve submitted issues of Saga with raging rotting testicles, gratuitous hetero-fucking, and ultra-violence.

I ain’t buying it.

And Apple? Fuck them anyways.

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Apple bans ‘SAGA’ #12 from comiXology because of gay sex, Brian K. Vaughan is all “we ain’t compromising anything.”

Saga #12.

There is a storm coming, Annie! Grab Jar Jar Binks, and get your ass inside. Apple has banned the sale of Saga #12 from the comiXology app in their store, igniting an understandable uproar. Despite other issues having rather gratuitous rotting testicles and the such, this is the first issue of Saga to receive the ban. Most people are explaining the discrepancy by pointing out the fact that this issue of Saga depicts *gasp* gay sex. Oh boy.

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Apple’s App Store has hit 40 BILLION DOWNLOADS. Lots, and lots of Doodle Jumps.

The App Store seems pretty popular. Like, really popular.

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Robbers snagged over $1 MILLION worth of gear from Apple store on NYE.

This is a hell of a plan. Swoop into a store during a ruckus-filled evening and snag you know, a considerable amount of Apple swag. To the tune of like, you know, $1 million dollars. Even in this time of inflation, that is a lot of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers.

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New Apple Patents outlines wireless charging method. The future be good.

Wires are only good for tying up your loved ones, and slowly spanking them. In my future, there is no place for those easily-tangled bastards outside of eroticism. Apple feels me! Apple feels me! A new patent of theirs outlines the future we’ve been waiting for, a future replete with wireless charging.

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Apple could be the first TRILLION dollar company between 2013 and 2015. Lots of iPhones, yo.

Apple is doing well. You probably knew that. Acolytes like myself line up and consume their products while plugging our ears to the horrors of factory conditions and the idea that other products could be superior. One result of this dedication is that the company may be poised to break the trilli barrier as early as next year.

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Apple awarded patent that could stop texting in theaters. Maybe. Odd.

On one hand, this is a pretty radical concept. Preventing people form texting in theaters! Huzzah! On the other hand, what about emergency calls from your loved ones? There is that weird line between being helpfully connected, and hopelessly inundated with the data stream.

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Apple buys patent-rich security firm for $356, barely choking back evil cackles whilst doing so.

Apple has snagged up a security firm who is fat-gutted on a glut of patents. I’m sure their evil maestros could barely contain their priapisms and sloppy loins when they finished this deal.

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‘DIABLO 3’ In Full RETINA DISPLAY GLORY Or; F**k You New MacBook Pro

Diablo 3 is going to be rocking out in retinal display on the new MacBook Pro. I don’t exactly know what the absurd resolution looks like, I just know I want it.

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