#Movies

‘Superman’ movie reboot coming and being written by Ta-Nehisi Coates with J.J. Abrams producing. Fucking hell yes!

superman reboot movie ta nehisi coates

Ta-Nehisi Coates is fucking writing a Superman movie reboot. Holy shit. Mamma fucking mia. This news gets my glands engorged. Ta-Nehisi Coates is one of my favorite essayists of the moment, and him on Superman is equal parts wonderful and surprising. Granted, the dude has taken a lap on Black Panther and Captain America for Marvel, so maybe it ain’t that surprising. But still, for him to tackle a Man of Steel movie? Fucking A.

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‘Mission: Impossible 7’ and ‘A Quiet Place 2’ will be streaming only 45 days after release on Paramount Plus. Everybody got their pandemic streaming swagger!

Paramount ain’t exactly going full Warner Brothers, but they are acknowledging the current pandemic-based reality. The company announced that Mission: Impossible 7A Quiet Place 2, and other movies will be streaming on Paramount+ a mere 45 days after release. Such a development pretty much sums up the current landscape, everyone has a fucking streaming service, and everyone is weary of the current box office.

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‘The Sandman’ Netflix series has announced its whole cast and I wish I could care more!

netflix announces the sandman main cast

Netflix has announced the main cast of The Sandman. Wee? I guess? Listen, nothing against The Sandman, friends. As well, nothing against Neil Gaiman. But I just can’t find the juice to care about this news! However, maybe you can give me the juice! If you’re excited, you know. Squeeze me. Milk me. Make me…care.

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Darren Aronofsky’s next movie is ‘The Whale’ starring Brendan Fraser. Man, remember Aronofsky?

It’s been so fucking long since I’ve been horny for Darren Aronofsky, especially after his last couple flicks. But, who the fuck knows! Maybe teaming up with Brendan Fraser for The Whale will reignite my loins. I really fucking hope so, since I used to be so hard for the dude. Here’s to auteur-cock-talk, fellas! Pull your hogs out for your faves, or whatever sort of genitals you’re sporting. Be proud! Be horny!

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‘Sacrifice’ Trailer: Barbara Crampton helps summon the “Slumbering One” in Lovecraftian horror flick

Yo! This trailer for Sacrifice got two of my goddamn favorite things thrown together into a glorious stew. First we got Cthulhuian mythos! Second we got Barbara Crampton. Put ’em together and you got a horror movie I’m deeply torqued to watch.

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Michael Keaton is going to be the DCEU’s Main Batman going forward. Time is an awesomely flat circle.

michael keaton main dceu batman

Goddamn! Michael Keaton is going to be the primary Batman of the DCEU. Not Robert Pattinson, not Ben Affleck. The motherfucking OG himself. This news has me both surprised and positively torqued.

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‘Coming 2 America’ Teaser Trailer: Eddie Murphy and the Rest of the Gang is Back (in America)!

Here’s the teaser trailer for Coming 2 America, baby! Which fucking reminds me, I really need to watch the original flick again. Especially, you know, to prepare for the sequel!

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‘Nobody’ Trailer: Bob Odenkirk goes full ‘Death Wish’ meets ‘John Wick’ and I’m fucking here for it

Anyone who has watched Fargo or Better Call Saul knows Bob Odenkirk can act. However, did we think he could kick ass? Probably not. However, the trailer for Nobody absolutely demolishes that preconception. This shit looks awesome.

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Oscar Isaac officially playing Solid Snake in ‘Metal Gear Solid’ movie. This fucking rules!

oscar isaac solid snake metal gear solid movie

Ah, fuck yes! I had completely forgotten this rumor. Oscar Isaac playing Solid Snake in the Metal Gear Solid movie. Whelp! Here’s a glorious reminder, in the form of a confirmation. Let’s goddamn go, fellas! This news got me pumped. In fact, I got my own, heh, solid snake over it.

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Warner Bros. is debuting its entire 2021 movie slate on HBO Max same day as theatrical release. Holy fuck.

warner bros debuting all 2021 movies on hbo max same day as theaters

Jesus fucking Christ, is this ever a testament to the times. Warner Bros. is debuting its entire 2021 movie slate, including Dune and The Matrix 4, on HBO Max the same day they drop in theaters. What a goddamn glorious development, no? Like, I’ll happily see these fuckers in theaters if the vaccine is available. But, if it ain’t? HBO Max, baby!

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