It ’tis I, the booty hunter! You know me! The man who can stare at gifs of butts on Tumblr for hours, but is always late with Monday Morning Commute. Listen! Listen. Booty hunting is a complicated profession. But more than that, it is gloriously passive. Way easier to watch ’em giggle than to pen something. Even slop! Even slop such as this, I know.
But! The booty hunter has arrived, and I’ve got with me my weekly satchel of sacred distractions that are getting me through the week. And oh, fuck, do I hate the weeks lately. Dark as fuck. Cold as fuck. I want to bury myself in blankets and caloric excess and wait for Spring. But, I can’t yield just yet. I mean, we got a significant amount of fucking months to go, and I can’t throw in the towel.
So this here is Monday Morning Commute! And the forthcoming are what I’m enjoying or looking forward to this week! I hope you’ll share your own satchel of sacred distractions in the comments section!
I must admit, I’m going to be quick! Dinner is on the way, and The Mandalorian awaits me. If I can punch this out prior to Mr. Door Dash arriving, I’ll be ecstatic.
Nintendo Switch has sold more than 15 million fucking consoles. Tops console sales for 10th straight month. Straight cash, homey!
The Nintendo Switch is still selling like hotcakes, folks. The console has passed 15 million units sold! As well, it has taken the monthly throne for the 10th straight month. But, I suppose this shit ain’t surprising. It’s a dope console, and its competition has been out for six years.
Take that, Jupiter. You big gaseous fuck! You’re n longer the leader in number of satellites. Nope, that belongs to Saturn now who has 20 newly discovered moons!
People want to put the original Doom on everything. Doom on an ATM. Doom on a printer. The latest? Doom on a fucking McDonald’s cash register.
I stream like a motherfucker, okay? So, I’m one of the people propelling this trend. That said, the ephemeral nature of these services worries me. In fact, I’d like to get back into buying physical media (on top of streaming). Physical copy. Helps the artists more. But streaming is just so fucking convenient, no?
My word, Alex Trebek has returned to his hosting duties on Jeopardy! This is, of course, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Which, hopefully you don’t know is one of the most lethal motherfuckers out there. Took my grandpa and quick. But, fuck yes. This is fantastic news.
Let the speculation, excitement, and grousing begin! It’s the latest trailer for a Star Wars property? Me? C’mon. I’m the local Star Wars mark. Can’t wait.