Hey! You fucks! How are you all doing? During this week of Giving Thanks, amid the most rotten-ass year in memory? How are you all doing? During this week of a Blackest Friday, amid the most rotten-ass year of Fridays in memory? This guy? Truthfully, I’m fucking zonked, dude. My core feels hallowed out, and spread across the astral plane. I exist as a collection of core functions, shambling through the next couple of days. If I can make it to Thursday, I’m golden!
Then? On Thursday? I’m popping on a pair of joggers, pulling up a chair, and just fucking getting gluttonous. Consuming some Thanksgiving feast. Consuming some shitty movies with Bateman. Consuming some Spider-Man: Miles Morales.
I’m really just leaning into the concept of elastic waistbands and corpulence this week.
Tell me, what are your plans this week? Crushing some mashed potatoes? Crushing some Shadowlands? Crushing a backlog of comic books with your free time?
I want to know!
This is Monday Morning Commute, Thanksgiving Week Edition!
You know, it’s been a goddamn crazy week! To the point where I actually started a MMC with the same headline, and, whelp. That shit was flushed down the existentially quickness when the week hit warp speed. That said, I’m here now! How the fuck is everyone doing? Before we get going, a reminder. Check your pants for your genitals, check your wallet for a lucky dollar bill, and check your psyche for the few firing neurons left.
You back? You good? Your biological pump-and-chasm working? Lucky dollar in place? Brain tethered together with Insistence and Folly? Fucking good. Good! So, let’s hang the fuck out now! Given that we’re all in one place, secured, and seizing.
The Cold War is heating up again, motherfuckers! Meanwhile the heat is colding up again, motherfuckers! Man, that was awkward-as-fuck. What I’m trying to say, and failing mind you, is that it’s getting a bit frigid here on the Northeastern Arm of the Empire. But, that ain’t all bad news! With the temperature dropping, and the sun setting, it’s the perfect excuse to stay inside this weekend. Boot-up the PlayStation 5, load-up the new Call of Duty (and Miles Morales) and just be a sack of comfy, cozy shit!
In-between gluttonous play sessions, I hope to spend some time with you fucks here at the Open Bar! I got the hearth going, the suds on tap, and the high-fives primed to be dispensed! Let’s hang the fuck out! Tell me, what are you dudes up to this weekend?
Watching The Mandalorian? Rocking some pre-expansion World of Warcraft? Eating an exorbitant amount of food, happily ensconced in sweatpants and a blanket?
Let’s hang the fuck out.
Seven years ago today, I wrote a Monday Morning Commute where I was getting excited for the PlayStation 4. It was titled “A Cascade of Nonsense” and captured how stoked I was! Now, I’m writing an MMC getting excited for the PlayStation 5. Mamma mia, right? This place has been around for a long, long time. And I’m glad it is, to serve as a community and a chronicling of my adventures and excitements.
Small comforts in big times, my friend. They’re the only way I’m navigating this minefield of civic unrest, worldwide sickness, and Zoom classrooms. For if we can’t find them, then what? Doom! Gloom! Madness!
So, I’m about to tell you what I’m excited for this week. Then, I hope you’ll hop into the comments section and give me your own run down.
This is Monday Morning Commute. On a Wednesday. Live from the Space-Ship Omega.
Let’s do this.
Last night, I finally joined Bags in the 5BC (On Stream) Club. It was more or less one of my proudest gaming moments. As, uh, you can tell.
Welcome to Monday Morning Commute on Election Tuesday! I’ll tell you something, my friends. I had begun writing this column yesterday, and it was full of piss, vinegar, and a real fucking white-knuckled fist at the world. And, you know what? It was just exhausting, my dudes. I petered out after the first paragraph and called it quits. I just don’t have it in me to rage, rage, against the Dying Democracy. Instead, fuck it. I offer you this boon, this refuge from the insanity of the Outside Digiverse.
Now listen, I’m not saying to not care. Now listen, I’m not saying to not vote like your future queer daughter’s life depends on it. However, lost in 2020 is the need for self-care. For sure, i’s a privileged practiced. Everyone needs it, not everyone can attain it, and I care and have empathy for those less fortunate.
But, if you can spare a few minutes, hang out here at MMC with me. I can’t promise you anything other than my kindness, but I’m genuinely curious what you’re looking forward to in this Hellscape of a week. Okay, fuck, that was dark. Listen, I’m trying, but reality does penetrate me straight through the ass every once in a while.
I got my own collections of diversion, distractions, and diluting potions I’m imbibing this week. In fact, I’ll fucking tell you! Then follow-up in the comments with your own laundry list of pleasantries.
I love you all, this is Monday Morning Commute!
Happy Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, motherfuckers! It’s Halloween tomorrow, and it’s fixing up to be a wild, weird, chaotic one just like all of this year. Today, we got motherfucking snow blasting our ass! Snow! October 30! Which makes me deeply glad I don’t have a commute this semester. Tomorrow! A COVID Halloween! Which means the usual coterie of parties and treat-giving is down to a mere simmer.
A weird year. A distance year. Apparently, a fucking snowy year.
However, that’s the glory of the Space-Ship Omega hurtling through the digiverse! Despite being separated by sickness and space-time, we can still spend this Halloween together here at the Open Bar!
This is the way, motherfuckers! Or at least, it seems to keep me going. Eating food, and basking in the delights of pop culture. Cause let me tell you, it’s rough sledding for this dude these days. Like, an actual thought I had this morning as I prepared to teach? At my computer desk? Again? I thought to myself, it feels like going back to prison.
Holy moly! What a fucking awful thought. A prison sentence, albeit with fellow inmates I enjoy. However, a prison sentence none the less. I hadn’t sat at the desk all weekend, and as I steeled myself to sit down, I realized how much I was dreading it. Right in the bubble guts. Right in the scrotum of my soul.
But, at least I can kick it with you fucks. And, at least there’s some shit I’m looking forward to this week. You know, the pop culture delights that’ll sustain me, as the weather unravels. As the days darken. So, I’m about to enumerate that bullshit for you, and I hope you’ll join me in the comments.
This is Monday Morning Commute!
Sometimes the end is an ugly, horrid affair. Other times, the end can be beautiful. Which is how I’d like to frame the onset of Autumn, you know? View it more as an excuse to get comfy, hunker down with some arts&farts, and wait out this COVID calamity. ‘Cause the other perspective? Is being shut-in for six months or so, separated from the Old Ways and the Distanced Friends. So, fuck! Let’s be positive about everything, right? Or at least try.
This here is Monday Morning Commute! And, I’m about to list all the shit I’m enjoying this week Then, I hope you’ll join me in the comments section. What are you partaking in, this week? Got any dope horror movies lined up? Playing the new World of Warcraft patch? Got some music you’re rocking out to? I want to know!
Let’s spend some time together, as the sun sets earlier, and the beautiful end draws near.
Yeah, sure, why not stick Jason’s ass to space?! I mean, they sent the motherfucker to “Manhattan” already. What exactly is dude going to do in space? Is it even a proper installment if Jason doesn’t smoke people while they’re fucking? Is there going to be space fucking in this movie? That’s some shit I’m going to find out this weekend, as Bags and I polish off the Friday the 13th series. So obviously, I got big fucking plans this weekend.