#Featured Articles

Best of OL Plays: Take It! ‘Dead Cells’ 5BC Journey Done.

Last night, I finally joined Bags in the 5BC (On Stream) Club. It was more or less one of my proudest gaming moments. As, uh, you can tell.

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Monday Morning Commute: Pleasant to Death

monday morning commute pleasant to death

Welcome to Monday Morning Commute on Election Tuesday! I’ll tell you something, my friends. I had begun writing this column yesterday, and it was full of piss, vinegar, and a real fucking white-knuckled fist at the world. And, you know what? It was just exhausting, my dudes. I petered out after the first paragraph and called it quits. I just don’t have it in me to rage, rage, against the Dying Democracy. Instead, fuck it. I offer you this boon, this refuge from the insanity of the Outside Digiverse.

Now listen, I’m not saying to not care. Now listen, I’m not saying to not vote like your future queer daughter’s life depends on it. However, lost in 2020 is the need for self-care. For sure, i’s a privileged practiced. Everyone needs it, not everyone can attain it, and I care and have empathy for those less fortunate.

But, if you can spare a few minutes, hang out here at MMC with me. I can’t promise you anything other than my kindness, but I’m genuinely curious what you’re looking forward to in this Hellscape of a week. Okay, fuck, that was dark. Listen, I’m trying, but reality does penetrate me straight through the ass every once in a while.

I got my own collections of diversion, distractions, and diluting potions I’m imbibing this week. In fact, I’ll fucking tell you! Then follow-up in the comments with your own laundry list of pleasantries.

I love you all, this is Monday Morning Commute!

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Weekend Open Bar: All Hallows Eve!

weekend open bar all hallows eve

Happy Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, motherfuckers! It’s Halloween tomorrow, and it’s fixing up to be a wild, weird, chaotic one just like all of this year. Today, we got motherfucking snow blasting our ass! Snow! October 30! Which makes me deeply glad I don’t have a commute this semester. Tomorrow! A COVID Halloween! Which means the usual coterie of parties and treat-giving is down to a mere simmer.

A weird year. A distance year. Apparently, a fucking snowy year.

However, that’s the glory of the Space-Ship Omega hurtling through the digiverse! Despite being separated by sickness and space-time, we can still spend this Halloween together here at the Open Bar!

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Monday Morning Commute: This Is The Way (Calories & Pop Culture)

monday morning commute this is the way

This is the way, motherfuckers! Or at least, it seems to keep me going. Eating food, and basking in the delights of pop culture. Cause let me tell you, it’s rough sledding for this dude these days. Like, an actual thought I had this morning as I prepared to teach?  At my computer desk? Again? I thought to myself, it feels like going back to prison.

Holy moly! What a fucking awful thought. A prison sentence, albeit with fellow inmates I enjoy. However, a prison sentence none the less. I hadn’t sat at the desk all weekend, and as I steeled myself to sit down, I realized how much I was dreading it. Right in the bubble guts. Right in the scrotum of my soul.

But, at least I can kick it with you fucks. And, at least there’s some shit I’m looking forward to this week. You know, the pop culture delights that’ll sustain me, as the weather unravels. As the days darken. So, I’m about to enumerate that bullshit for you, and I hope you’ll join me in the comments.

This is Monday Morning Commute!

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Monday Morning Commute: Sometimes The End Is Beautiful

monday morning commute sometimes the end is beautiful

Sometimes the end is an ugly, horrid affair. Other times, the end can be beautiful. Which is how I’d like to frame the onset of Autumn, you know? View it more as an excuse to get comfy, hunker down with some arts&farts, and wait out this COVID calamity. ‘Cause the other perspective? Is being shut-in for six months or so, separated from the Old Ways and the Distanced Friends. So, fuck! Let’s be positive about everything, right? Or at least try.

This here is Monday Morning Commute! And, I’m about to list all the shit I’m enjoying this week Then, I hope you’ll join me in the comments section. What are you partaking in, this week? Got any dope horror movies lined up? Playing the new World of Warcraft patch? Got some music you’re rocking out to? I want to know!

Let’s spend some time together, as the sun sets earlier, and the beautiful end draws near.

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Weekend Open Bar: Yeah Sure, Stick His Ass In Space

weekend open bar stick his ass in space

Yeah, sure, why not stick Jason’s ass to space?! I mean, they sent the motherfucker to “Manhattan” already. What exactly is dude going to do in space? Is it even a proper installment if Jason doesn’t smoke people while they’re fucking? Is there going to be space fucking in this movie? That’s some shit I’m going to find out this weekend, as Bags and I polish off the Friday the 13th series. So obviously, I got big fucking plans this weekend.

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Monday Morning Commute: Welcome To A.P. Poor Taste

monday morning commute ap poor taste

What’s up, slugs? Are you existing in a marmalade of twinkling optimism and oppressive anxiety? Or, is that just my bipolar ass? Either way, welcome! For me, it’s a gloomy-as-fuck Tuesday, following a long weekend. Which means that everything requires just a smidge more emotional energy than usual, and if I’m being honest, I feel as though everything costs more emotional energy for me than most.

That’s neither here nor there, though. I mean, right? That ain’t the point of this shit, Monday Morning Commute (on a Tuesday). No, no! Indeed, the point is to share what I’m anticipating and enjoying this specific week. Then, I hope you’ll join my ass in the comments.

Regal me, motherfuckers! Regal me with your own happenings! I beg. I plead. I demand.

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Weekend Open Bar: Glad It Is A Long Weekend

weekend open bar it is a long weekend

Motherfuckers, clap your heads and shout to the skies. It’s the first long weekend of the semester! Let me tell you good friends, it ain’t a moment too soon. Nope! Not at all. Though I have to admit, this week has found me getting more into the swing of this whole virtual existence. It’s all relative, of course. I mean, I’m emotionally exhausted. Wearied about another nine weeks. But at the same time? I really enjoyed my classes this week, and I’ve appreciated some of the smaller virtues of working from home.

Be it watching the leaves fall outside my window, or being able to take a walk before class starts in the morning. This plague has afforded us more time, those of us fortunate to be employed, and healthy.

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Monday Morning Commute: OL Never Dies!

monday morning commute omega level never dies (1)

OL never dies, motherfucker! Even if I take five goddamn weeks off from a Monday Morning Commute. Like a goddamn bum! I’m here today, man. Trying to rally mind, body, and soul for a little interaction. How is everyone doing? It’s just a fucking cataclysmic year, even for those of us most fortunate. For example, yours truly.

The synapses may be rumbling along at a tepid pace. Zoom classes may absolutely fucking suck. But, I’ve still got a home, health, and a job. That’s a victory in most years, especially so in 2020.

Furthermore, it’s not like working from home doesn’t have its advantages. No commute! Getting to spend more time with Sam. And right now, I can glance out my windows and watch the leaves fall. Peaceful. As. Fuck.

Anyways folks, here I am. Per the function of this column, I’m about to run down what I’ve been enjoying as of late. You know, the shit that’s titillating, despite my depression, anxiety, and general fear of both The Future and the Now.

I hope you’ll join me in the comments!

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Weekend Open Bar: October Country

weekend open bar october country

Mamma mia! Take a depressed dude (hi!) and mix-in some insane work schedule, and what do you get? Just an absolute fucking absence from the digital universe. Specifically, his own Space-Ship. For that, I’m sorry. Apologies, my friends! Apologies. I’m trying. And I suppose that’s really all any of us can be doing in the Year of Misery, 2020.

Shit’s just hard right now! Damn hard. Which means I’m retreating into a cocoon of silence, watching my favorite comedies such as Always Sunny for momentary amusement, and trying and failing to sleep.

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