#Featured Articles

Weekend Open Bar: Prepare for Kombat Tonight

It’s the Night of Night, my friends! Sitting here at 4pm, it’s a mere three hours until I finally get to see a new movie in the theaters. Thirteen months! Lost twenty-pounds (not good), gained twenty-pounds (about 5 pounds too many), grew a mustache, grew a beard, grew a mustache, and now I’m back to a beard. Since I’ve been in the theater last there’s been insurrections, elections, and a couple of Marvel television shows. It’s been a hell of a fucking ride, some bad, some good, the majority banal.

Anyways! That’s what is on the tip of my synaptic iceberg tonight! But there’s other shit popping off this weekend, and I want to share in all the revelry with you folks! Right here, at the Goddamn Open Bar!

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Views From The Space-Ship: Chimichangas For The Soul

Here you go, fuckers! Some chimichangas for the soul! What exactly does that mean? Why, like usual, I got no fucking idea. I suppose I’m about to share some proverbial chimichangas! For your fucking soul! Cause the bless the Eldritch Ones, nothing makes my stomach glow like the deep, chaotic cheesiness of a chimichanga hitting my guts. So why shouldn’t the proverbial ones have the same effect on one’s soul? Fucking Hell, am I even making any sense? Does it even matter!

No!

And.

Fucking no!

This is my goddamn Space-Ship, and you’re lucky I’m even wearing my ass-cloak and socks today. Be grateful you’re not staring at the dark, haunting plumage of my ass hairs as I bend over to snag a Diet Dew from the 3D-Printer adjacent to your bunk.

That’s one view you’re not getting here on the Space-Ship! But hit the jump to check out the ones you are getting, and share your own in the comments.

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Monday Morning Commute: Finish Him! (Quarantine)

What a fucking year it’s been, friends. And I know for many, it sure as shit ain’t over yet. But this week marks two weeks since I’ve received my J&J vaccine. Or in other words, this dude is ready to tentatively, and carefully begin to renter society. I mean, to the extent that I ever existed in it, you know? As a hermit and all. How am I celebrating this emergence? Why, I’m celebrating by partaking in two of my favorite things in the world. Hitting the movies on Friday evening and going out to dinner on Saturday afternoon.

What a fucking year it’s been, friends. Yet we’re slowly emerging from the morass, and with it brings a surreal feeling. However, I must underscore how fucking instrumental my digital kinship with ya’ll has been in sustaining some sort of sanity for the past thirteen months. Without these weekly columns, twice-weekly Twitch streams, and now Discord, I would have broken long ago.

If I kick the bucket anytime soon, I’ll lay content in knowing I helped facilitate the creation of some sort of small but meaningful refuge for a few people during this darkest of years. That said, it wouldn’t have been shit without the participation of all of you. So thank you so much for helping a brother out, and if I made you laugh a couple times talking about sniffing panties, boobs, or swearing at Dead Cells, I’m glad.

Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute! I’ll share my own hopes, dreams, hypes, and vices for the week! Then you’ll hit the comments section and tag-in, it’s your goddamn imperative.

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Weekend Open Bar: Nobody’s Home. Let’s Party!

Can I open the bar in five minutes? Can I go from absolutely no image, to an image, a post title, body text, and hit publish? Let’s see! It’s 6:34. How are you fuckers doing? Are you ready to celebrate the weekend? With me? I fucking hope you are! So come one, and come all, to the Weekend Open Bar!

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Views From The Space-Ship: You Trust That Dude?

Hey ya’ll! It’s a new edition of Views From The Space-Ship. Albeit, a day late and a dollar short! Admittedly I don’t have fucking much to share this week. I suppose I can always take a picture of my actual desk, in media res! You know, show what it’s looking like. So let me go do that…*takes photo, seriously*…and I’m back! But maybe I should also try and take some shots of my life? I don’t know! Sharing is caring or something?! Yeah, I’m just fucking babbling.

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Weekend Open Bar: The Super Covid Serum!

wb the super covid serum

It’s official, comrades. Members of the Space-Ship Omega. The COVID-19 vaccine is currently coursing through my veins. Building antibodies. Shuffling me towards a day when I may return to the movies, watch sports with friends, and attend concerts. Build, antibodies! Build! Swell up, teach my body how to karate-chop this fucking virus. Missile dropkick the son of a bitch! Get big, get strong, get ready for me. ‘Cause Imma put your serum-ass to the test in three weeks or so.

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Views From The Space-Ship: A (Synth)wave of relief

Sup, my brethren? ‘Tis I, the Caffeinated Power! Coming to you today with a bit of a clipped installment. You see, I am experiencing a synthwave of relief today! Finally, I’ve been vaccinated against the Motherfucking Plague! Goddamn, fuck, yes! However, I gotta cop that I’m feeling some of the side effects. Burning eyes, a bit of a throbbing temple, and a pretty unusual amount of fatigue. All of it? All of it completely fucking worth it. To walk within the world again, just a bit more confident. To walk within the movie theaters again in two weeks, to see Mortal Kombat.

That said, I’m fucking drained! So I’m gonna sprint through my images this week, but I still hope you’ll share views of your own world in the comments section!

This is Views From The Space-Ship!

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Monday Morning Commute: A Leprechaun Job! KO

mmc - a leprechaun job

Don’t trust anyone who offers you a crock of gold, folks! It’s a motherfucking Leprechaun Job! What does that mean? Man, I don’t fucking know. Okay? Okay! The shitty, pointless headline pun is simply the result of me watching the first Leprechaun this weekend. Fuck, it’s a goddamn goofy-ass blast. I didn’t realize how silly the movie would be, but I enjoyed it all the more for it. Now I must work my way through the series.

‘Cause do you really think I’m gonna miss out on this little fucker going to space?

Or the hood? Twice?

Absolutely not.

Anyways, this here is Monday Morning Commute! The weekly column where we share the arts&farts we’re digging into during a given week.

But you know that cause you’re here! And if you’re here, you’re assuredly a stalwart member of the community. You see, we don’t get many new visitors round these parts. To reference the King’s works himself, OL has become a veritable Derry or Salem’s Lot at this point. I don’t mind though!

Not at all, no I don’t. So long as you regulars hang out in the comments section, that is!

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Weekend Open Bar: The G(l)ory of the Slumber Party!

Lordy, lordy! Look what motherfucking time it is, my friend! ‘Tis nothing less than the most glorious time of the fucking week. Namely, the fucking weekend! I just got done grading eighteen essays, which means I can shut my brain the fuck down until Sunday! It’s been an absolute nut-crusher of a week, and I cannot wait to vaporize my brain, engorge my stomach, and titillate my ocular-globes.

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Monday Morning Commute: Coming Alive

What’s up, friends? I must admit I created the column’s title and image above yesterday, when I was feeling decidedly much better. Today? On Tuesday? I don’t know man, I’m fucking tired. Slept like shit. Sam’s been waiting for a call regarding her potential job, so the entire house is feeling them stressed vibes. Teaching? A fucking grind!

But it ain’t all shitty, you know? The Super Covid Serum continues to work in my meat-bag, and I’m looking forward to passing the the two-week mark next week. Then I will be invincible! Capable of downloading 5G directly into my brain, scaling the tallest buildings, and communing with my God-Emperor, Bill Gates!

Anyways, I’m sorry I’m complaining! Let’s hang the fuck out, fellas! Fellas of any gender! Species! This is Monday Morning Commute! Per the column’s ontological imperative, I’m about to give a rundown of what I’m digging this week! Then you’re gonna join me in the comments section.

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