Anyone who has been around OL for a good amount of time (coming up on ten fucking years) knows that I absolutely abhor fucking “best of lists” with a fury. They’re divisive, inflammatory, and lead to bickering and bitching. That said, anyone who has been around OL for a good amount of time also knows that I love cultivating a community wherein we can share dope shit. With that preposterously verbose preamble in mind, I’d like for us to gather and share our Favorites of 2018.
The fashion and function of this motherfucker is to share what we really, really enjoyed this year. As a means to reminisce and share your faves with people who have potentially missed these sweet, sweet thangs. Additionally, it’s a space for others to share their fucking faves that you may have missed. I by no means consider myself to have good taste or particularly incisive insight (especially since I’m rushing to get this out before NYE dinner), so take or leave this list! But, please, please share what you’ve enjoyed in the comments.
There were my favorites of 2018.
Y’ever celebrate Christmas? Or Hanukkah? Boxing Day? Kwanzaa?
I’m bettin’ y’have, Dirt-Foot.
But what about Saturnalia? Y’ever get blasted on wine and orgy-bang until swollen and then check out a human sacrifice?
`Less I’m gettin’ y’ears through a time-tunnel, chances’re that y’never bowed before Saturn.
That, said, let’s s’pose y’actually have celebrated Saturnalia – where’d’y’do it? Poor folks, likely in a hovel w’rats scurryin’ in’n’out? Moneybags ‘mongst’ya, in th’actual Temple of Saturn?
That’s purdy cool.
But me? Where’m I celebratin’ Saturnalia this year? What’d’y’say if I told’y’that my mission brought me to Space Station Cronus, and I’m orbitin’ the sixth planet from the sun? What’d’y’say if I told y’that the boys already been loadin’ up on cheap terra-wine? What’d’y’say if I told y’that everyone chipped in to get a live-stream of the day’s NFL games and we’re aimin’ to gamble our ways into fortune? What’d’y’say if I told y’that we convinced Doc to order them good prescription horny-pills and we’re aimin’ to stink up the joint as we slide against each other?
What’d’y’say if I told you that even in the future the parties of the past prevail?
Well, if I was you – well, goddamn, I’d say “Happy Saturnalia, y’old son of a bitch!”
Welcome to the holiday edition of MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!
Now that you’ve read some of my sci-fi nonsense, it’s time to discuss what we’re all doing this week! Let’s share strategies for having a good (Yule) time!
Yo! It’s the Weekend Open Bar! The weekly weekend invitation extended to the members of the Space-Ship Omega! To do what? Well, I’m glad you fucking asked! It’s an invitation to gather-up around in the digi-hearth and share what you’re up to the next two days.
Are you snagging a Christmas tree this weekend? Or perhaps you’re spending the next couple of days silently praying to the Gods of Fantasy Football. Neither of those? Well, maybe you’re inside, hiding from the cold. Playing Red Dead Redemption 2 and swigging holiday beers.
Hey, friends! It’s me, the Captain of the Space-Ship Omega welcoming you to the beginning of the Holiday Gauntlet. No doubt, it can be a wonderful time of the year. Yet, it can also provide an impressive cavalcade of social obligations, forced-monetary expenditures, and rolling darkness. What to do, what to do? Well, for starters take a fucking breath. Then, pull up a chair around the cosmic-hearth here on the ship. You can take refuge here in the Weekend Open Bar! Herein you’ll find like-minded folk shooting the shit about their weekend.
Perhaps this weekend the conversation will center on how much money we spent on Black Friday deals. And the shotgun dropkicks we gave the elderly to procure said deals. Or, maybe we enumerate the various caloric depravities we’ve indulge in. Anything and everything goes, so long as the golden rule is not violated:
Thou shall be chill.
Hey friends! This begins one of my favorite stretches of the year. The Earth may be dark, yes. But, I’m spending this time of year blessedly sharing cozy rooms with too many calories, and loved ones. And, y’all are some of those loved ones as well! If the Space-Ship Omega is a small community, it’s certainly one that I count myself lucky to belong to. So, saddle-up next to the fire, and spend some time with me this week.
Here, at the Monday Morning Commute!
Tell me, what are you doing for Thanksgiving break?
Are you hitting the movies at all?
Using some (hopeful) time off to catch-up on some video games?
I want to know! I want to spend some time. The Earth is dark but the fire is warm, let’s hang out.
Hey all! Fucking late, I know. What can I say? It’s bit of a grind at the moment. The sun doesn’t exist! Oh, it doesn’t exist! But, ennui does! In my bones. But, snow does! In my backyard. I’m here now, though. So, I hope that counts for something. I’m a bit tardy, but I’m ripping open the door to the Weekend Open Bar! Come one, come all! Let’s chat this weekend around the dumpster-fires of the post-apocalypse slop-culture dystopia we live in.
What are you playing this weekend? Some Fallout 76? What are you watching this weekend? Widows? Fantastic Queefs? What are you eating? I want to know it all! I want to spend this darkened, frosty weekend with you folks, the citizens of the Space-Ship Omega!
Man, there ain’t no fucking sun in the sky lately. And man, there ain’t no fucking warmth in the air. But, there sure are a lot of fucking papers to grade, a lot of classes to teach, and a lot of obligations to meet. Ah, ah yes. Why, it must be that time of the year. What time, you ask? Why, the time of the year where I feel ground down into a chunky paste, and slathered across the corporeal plane. However, I do not have the time to cease! Cause there’s so much goddamn wood to chop before I sleep for the semester.
How am I going to make it?
Why, by leaning on the various frivolities that bring me happiness. And, I’m wanting to tell you of the specific frivolities I’m enjoying this week! Do you want to hear, fair members of the Space-Ship Omega? I certainly fucking hope so!
How am I going to make it, also?
Why, by listening to the various frivolities you are enjoying this week! Please, I implore you. Meet me in the comments section, and let’s spend time time!
This is Monday Morning Commute.
Oh fuck! I’m a day late! But, is forgiveness offered because it’s a long weekend? Please, forgive me! Seriously though, I’m here! Here now. Here ready to party. Here ready to talk about whatever you wanna talk about. After all, that’s the point of Weekend Open Bar! To shoot the weekend shit with the other denizens of Space-Ship Omega! Let’s talk, fuckers!
Wanna talk prostate orgasms? I’m here.
Wanna talk Sam Esmail’s latest auteur masterpiece Homecoming? I’m here.
Wanna talk Red Dead Redemption 2? I’m here.
Anything and everything goes here within these madness-slickened walls.
Oh, it’s a wild one! With a good portion of the Space-Ship Omega crew checking in. What do we got going on in here? Playing The Messenger. Brainstorming a new creature for Ridley Scott’s Alien franchise. The butthugger. Which induces death by stimulating the prostate. Ian tells people who like Gladiator to grow up. Other trash. Join us!