Weekend Open Bar: A Mythically Good Time

It’s been fucking crazy, dudes. Like, super fucking crazy around these parts. Not in a wholly bad way, but just fucking crazy. For example, I’ve literally typed up a draft of MMC the last two weeks and never gotten around to finishing them. We’re talking crazy to that ass-clenching degree. Anyways, it’s the motherfucking Weekend (Open Bar) and I’m goddamn ecstatic. The work laptop is closed, the ring light is powered off, and my existential pud is in my hands.

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Cinemark Signs Deal With 5 Hollywood Studios For Shorter Theatrical Windows. Whatever Keeps Em Going, Dude.

cinemark deal hollywood studios shorter theatrical windows

I really don’t give two-tugs of a dead dog’s dick what movie theaters do to keep operating. Sell the souls of fallen employees? Fucking fine. Sign deals with Hollywood studios for shorter theatrical windows? Also fine. Whatever the fuck it takes.

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SpaceX Finally Landed Its Starship Rocket Without Exploding. Hell Yeah.

spacex starship landed without exploding

What a fucking headline, no? But like, you know how it goes. The price of progress is failure, and it appears SpaceX has failed enough for the moment. ‘Cause they finally landed their Starship rocket without it fucking exploding everywhere.

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Nintendo Switch Has 36 Million-Seller Titles. Jesus Fuck, This Thing Doesn’t Slow Down!

nintendo switch 36 million seller games

The Nintendo Switch just runs around the fucking ring, discus-lariating any motherfucker that gets in its way. It’s unstoppable, fucking unstoppable. This son of a bitch as 36 million-seller titles, and I imagine that ain’t the final count.

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‘Stranger Things’ Season 4 Teaser Trailer: Eleven, Are You Listening?

I’m excited for Stranger Things‘ new season. I’ll admit that, even after I become more and more convinced The Duffer Brothers don’t have an original idea in their head. But, hey! Them motherfuckers can pay glorious homage when they’re on their game. And when they’re not? Woof.

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‘Benedetta’ Trailer: Paul Verhoeven’s Next Movie Is An “Erotic Lesbian Nun Romance” And I’m in.

What the glorious fuck? Paul Verhoeven has a new movie titled Benedetta and it sounds absolutely bonkers. Like, a fucking erotic lesbian nun romance? Yup, I’m in bro. Completely in.

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Next ‘Superman’ Movie Confirmed To Have Black Lead. Just Cast Michael B. Jordan, No?

superman movie black actor lead role

You can hear the people frothing at the mouth. Gnashing their teeth. But I’m more than cool with the next Superman movie featuring a black actor in the lead role. At this point it almost seems too obvious, but they should just fucking cast Michael B. Jordan as rumored.

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NASA’s Parker Solar Probe Discovers Radio Signal Coming From Venus. This is how ‘The Expanse’ happens, folks!

scientists radio signal venus

Looks like we got ourselves a motherfucking protomolecule situation, friends. Okay, aiight. It’s definitely not that shit, but it’s still wild. You see, NASA’s Parker Solar Probe has discovered a radio signal coming from Venus. Like, holy fuck.

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Alan Moore Signs Deal With ‘Harry Potter’ Publisher Which Includes A 5-Part Fantasy Series.

Alan Moore may be done with comics, but the motherfucker ain’t done with writing. Moore has signed a major deal with Bloomsbury, which includes a five-part fantasy series titled Long London. You know, I don’t usually fuck with fantasy, but I absolutely fuck with Moore. So chances have me checking this shit out. How about you?

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Sony Has Invested in Discord, Will Bring it to PlayStation in 2022. This Matters To Me Now!

sony invests in discord coming to playstation 2022

Hey, did you know we have a fucking Discord? Yup! We do. It’s been getting going lately, and we’ve assembled a real collection of vagabonds, degenerates, and filth peddlers. In other words, a fantastic crew. Why is that relevant? Well, motherfucking Sony has announced they’ve invested in Discord, and they’ll be bringing that shit to PlayStation next year. That means I’ll be able to interact with said vagabonds, degenerates, and filth peddlers from the comfort of my PlayStation next year!

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