#Welcome To the Future

Pentagon has a laser that can identify people by their heartbeat. Yeah, dude. What could possibly go wrong?!

laser identify people heartbeat

Oh golly gee, whatever could go fucking wrong with this? The Pentagon has a laser that can identify people by their fucking heartbeat.

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Amazon announces their Prime Air drone could start 30-minute deliveries within months. Welcome to the ‘Black Mirror’ apocalypse!

If civilization is ending, which it seems it is these days, at least it’s going out as an episode of Black Mirror. Corporations not just ruining the seas, but also filling the air.

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So, uh. Young blood transfusions do seem to fight aging. Medical vampirism is real, this world is strange.

young blood transfusions aging

So, remember those odd conspiracies about the Old Ass Illuminati of our cultures getting blood transfusions to live forever? Using the blood of young humans? Well, I don’t know if that shit was true, but get this shit. Young blood does seem to fight aging.

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Japanese professor was busted for teaching students how to make Molly. Finally, applicable skills from a classroom

japanese professor molly

A Japanese professor went straight-up Breaking Bad, teaching his students how to make Molly.

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Researchers have created first ever 3D-printed heart. The future is fucking wild, dudes.

Researchers have created a 3D-printed heart, my friends. Like, with blood vessels and shit. The future is absolutely wild. And while the heart they printed is about the size of a rabbit’s heart, it portends well for future development.

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Some humans can “sense” Earth’s magnetic field according to research. Yeah, his name is Magneto, bro!

humans magnetic field

Easy headline is easy! That said, pretty fucking cool research.

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Netflix planning more interactive stories ala ‘Bandersnatch’ for better or worse

netflix bandersnatch more interactive

Is Bandersnatch a movie? An interactive narrative? A video game? We can debate the ontology forever, but one thing is certain. Netflix is planning more content in its vein for the streaming service.

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Netflix has joined the Motion Picture Association of America. Getting cliqued up, making moves!

netflix joins mpaa

I don’t know much about the MPAA. One hunch I have is that they’re a real political-ass lobbying group. The other is that they’re rather powerful. So, it makes sense that Netflix would want to get in on that action.

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Netflix told its investors it loses more viewers to ‘Fortnite’ than HBO. Weird flex, but okay!

netflix viewers fortnite

Netflix is more concerned about Fornite than it is HBO, folks. A bit of an odd idea at first. However, upon reflection it seems like a pretty intriguing commentary on how media and media competition has changed.

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Facebook is developing a cryptocurrency because what could go wrong. They only fuck up everything

facebook cryptocurrency

Facebook! You know, the monolith that we all simultaneously hate and prostrate ourselves before? The one that fucks up everything? Well, this gang of chucklefuck morons is developing a cryptocurrency.

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