#Welcome To the Future

Some humans can “sense” Earth’s magnetic field according to research. Yeah, his name is Magneto, bro!

humans magnetic field

Easy headline is easy! That said, pretty fucking cool research.

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Netflix planning more interactive stories ala ‘Bandersnatch’ for better or worse

netflix bandersnatch more interactive

Is Bandersnatch a movie? An interactive narrative? A video game? We can debate the ontology forever, but one thing is certain. Netflix is planning more content in its vein for the streaming service.

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Netflix has joined the Motion Picture Association of America. Getting cliqued up, making moves!

netflix joins mpaa

I don’t know much about the MPAA. One hunch I have is that they’re a real political-ass lobbying group. The other is that they’re rather powerful. So, it makes sense that Netflix would want to get in on that action.

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Netflix told its investors it loses more viewers to ‘Fortnite’ than HBO. Weird flex, but okay!

netflix viewers fortnite

Netflix is more concerned about Fornite than it is HBO, folks. A bit of an odd idea at first. However, upon reflection it seems like a pretty intriguing commentary on how media and media competition has changed.

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Facebook is developing a cryptocurrency because what could go wrong. They only fuck up everything

facebook cryptocurrency

Facebook! You know, the monolith that we all simultaneously hate and prostrate ourselves before? The one that fucks up everything? Well, this gang of chucklefuck morons is developing a cryptocurrency.

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MIT has built a robotic houseplant that moves on its own. It’s nice to know the overlords will have green

mit robotic houseplant

Oh, isn’t this a relief. At least when the Robot Overlords finally take over, we know they’ll have some greenery.

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Intel Processor design flaw will result in big system slowdowns

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This is the kind of news that just tickles me. Not only is this a wonderful read, the topic is fascinating. Here we have the real Neos, Trinitys and Morpheus of the world that have figured out this security issue and now behind the scenes we have the mad scramble to patch all affected systems. Which appaears to be EVERY single device with an intel processor made in the last ten years.

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Burger Chain in California teaming-up with surveillance company for face-scanning loyalty program. Dystopia Now, baby!

burger join surveillance giant points

A local California burger chain is banking on its customers wanting fucking¬†loyalty points more than they don’t want¬†want their faces fucking scanned and logged in some database somewhere. I, the ever present cynic, am guessing they’re probably right. Who needs to fight against Dystopian futures when you can get free french fries or some shit. Who needs privacy when there are hamburgers at stake, bro!

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Scientists detect hidden chamber in Great Pyramid of Giza. Like, please don’t piss off the Elder Ones

great pyramid of giza hidden chamber

Scientists have detected a hidden chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza. Sounds pretty bad ass, but man I got reservations. You see, everything I’ve been taught in life informs me that this is where Elder Ones hang out. Their pad, where they relax in-between eating planets and inciting cosmic horror.

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Walmart using shelf-scanning robots to audit its stores. This is how it fucking begins, dudes

walmart shelf scanning robots

This is how it fucking begins, man. First the robots are scanning shelfs, auditing them. Next thing you know they’re scanning us, auditing our worth. And oh, by the way, you’d probably notice our worth as a fact-denying, bloated, hateful corpulence isn’t that high right now. Their first strike fixing to be justified, the rate we’re going.

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