#Welcome To the Future

The Head of NASA believes in aliens. This makes sense because they’re real.

nasa head believes in aliens

The preponderance of evidence as of late that there are¬†somethings in our sky that we can’t explain is undeniable. So, it only makes sense that the fucking head of NASA would believe in aliens. That said, I’m stoked that he’s saying such out loud.

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El Salvador’s President wants to build Volcano-Powered Cryto Miners. The Future is Fucking Wild.

el salvador volcano bitcoin mining

El Salvador ain’t stopping at being the first country to recognize Bitcoin as legal tender. Nah! They’re going a wild step further. Its president wants to build volcano-powered crypto miners. Like, the future is so fucking wild.

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FBI says Russian Hackers are to blame for shutting down much of US beef supply. What a weird fucking future, man.

fbi russian hackers us beef supply

I’m old as fuck. Pre-internet old. So when I read an article that says Russian hackers have shut down the US beef supply? It fucking blows my mind, man.

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Chinese Firefighters Have Been Issued Exoskeletons To Kick Fires’ Asses Better. The Future is Fucking Wild.

chinese firefighters exoskeletons

What the fuck is this? Exoskeletons are already out there in the world? I want a fucking exoskeleton. Not even for doing dope shit like these Chinese firefighters. I could use one for like going up the stairs at this point, with my creaky-ass bones and stoner lung capacity. I mean, I get that they’re doing more important things with them. But still, rocking an exoskeleton on a late day dog walk? Fucking hell yeah.

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Pentagon Confirms Footage of UFOs Flying Around Navy Ships Is Real. Bruh! Holy shit.

pentagon confirms ufo footage ships is real

We live in outrageous times for fucking UFO news. Like, the Pentagon has confirmed footage of UFOs flying around Navy ships is real. Is fucking real! Now, okay. They’re probably not actual aliens (I mean, I think they are) — but the government acknowledging they don’t know what they are? Fucking sick.

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MIT Scientists Release Music Made By Spiders. What The Fuck?

MIT scientists have released music made by spiders. Specifically, the music was generated by translating the structure of a spider web into music. You know, I don’t know what the fuck this means, but I’m here for it. That said, I ain’t gonna listen to it. Absolutely fucking haunting idea.

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Young female Twitter star turns out to be 50 year-old Japanese biker using deepfakes. The future is absolutely fucking wild.

young female twitter star 50 year old man deepfakes

We’re all living within a Billy Gibson novel, my dudes. A Young female Twitter has revealed herself to be a fucking 50 year-old Japanese biker. Man, just drink in that fucking sentence. Tremendous. Dude convinced everyone using deepfakes, and fucking hell do I love this.

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Ancient Biblical Texts discovered in a “Cave of Horror” and this is a horror movie waiting to happen!

ancient biblical texts cave of horror

Listen, I just finished watching motherfucking¬†30 Coins. So I know a fucking Satanic Apocalypse waiting to happen, and that’s exactly what this shit happens to be! I mean, Ancient Biblical Texts? A fucking Cave of Horror? Let’s go! I’m tired of this realm, this flesh-bag, and the horrors of mortality.

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Scientists have repaired injured spinal cord using patient’s own stem cells. Holy fucking future, friends!

scientists repaired injured spinal cord using patients own stem cells

How is this for a welcome blast in the ass from the Future? Scientists have repaired a patient’s spinal cord, using their own stem cells. The patients reported substantial improvements to key functions, just weeks after the cells were injected. Mamma mia, the fucking implications!

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Remastered Nyan Cat gif sold in Crypto Art Auction for equivalent of $587,000. The future is insane.

nyan cat crypto art auction

Dude, just this headline makes my nose bleed. Like, in a good way. But still. A remastered Nyan Cat gif has been sold. At a crypto art auction. For $587,000. What the fuck.

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