#Video Games

PlayStation 5 has had the biggest launch in console history. That, uh, explains the shortages.

ps5 is is biggest console launch in history

Can’t get a fucking PlayStation 5? Well, that’s because it’s the biggest launch in console history. I mean, it’s also because of fucking shit-ass scalpers. But, also because of its launch success.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ has over 175 hours of gameplay and good goddamn I can’t wait

cyberpunk 2077 175 hours of gameplay

I was fearful that Cyberpunk 2077 wasn’t going to be long. And boy, does it appear those fears were unfounded. The motherfucker is clocking in at over 175 hours. Which is goddamn glorious, especially since it drops the last day of the semester for me.

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A copy of ‘Super Mario Bros. 3’ just sold for $156,000. That’s a lot of fucking Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers!

rare super mario bros 3 auction $156000

Jesus fucking Christ! A copy of Super Marios Bros. 3 just sold for $156,000. The reason? The motherfucker has a rare box design. Uh. Okay. Like, on one hand this is fucking preposterous. But, on the other hand? If I had “fuck you” money, I would absolutely be embracing my nostalgia like this.

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HBO has officially ordered ‘The Last of Us’ adaptation by dude behind ‘Chernobyl’ and the game’s director!

the last of us series hbo

Well, it appears that HBO ain’t done ordering shit to series today! The’ve officially ordered The Last of Us to series, and I’m curious as fuck about this adaptation.

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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Final Gameplay Trailer: Here’s a glimpse at your life in Night City!

Fuck me, is Cyberpunk 2077 really two weeks away? Many people say this game has to absolutely fucking bring it to be worth the wait. Me? I disagree. I’m so fucking horny for this title, that a mere enjoyable romp through a cyberpunk wonderland will get me off.

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New ‘James Bond’ game coming from the ‘Hitman’ developers. This sounds potentially awesome, bros

Man! I’m really vibing with this news. Right in my ass-pipe prostate place. The makers of Hitman are bringing a new James Bond game into the world. It’s true, I ain’t fucked with the new Hitman titles. But that shit ain’t out of a lack of interest. Which means, this development may be enough to get me fucking around with the developers.

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‘Resident Evil Village’ dropping in April 2021, according to massive-ass Capcom ransomware attack!

resident evil village april 2021

Holy shit, has Capcom got totally fucking rocked! The company was victim to a ransom aware attack, whose subsequent leaks has revealed all sorts of shit. Including the release date of Resident Evil Village. The motherfucker is dropping in April 2021.

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‘Horizon Forbidden West’ is launching in late 2021. Bank on it being the big holiday title, baby!

horizon forbidden west late 2021

Sony’s come out and confirmed what I sort of assumed. That is, Horizon Forbidden West ain’t dropping until late 2021. Not a real big surprise, you know? It makes sense for this glorious son of a bitch to be next year’s big holiday exclusive.

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‘Starfield’ will feature the biggest map of any Bethesda game. Ever. Give me this fucking game!

starfield biggest map of any bethesda game ever

Man, Todd Howard out here talking about Starfield. Talking about how it’s going to feature the biggest map of any Bethesda game ever. Getting my tits hard. I almost wish dude wouldn’t talk about it, so I didn’t have to think about it longingly. Just come at us when you got a release date, Toddy. Stop tickling the tip.

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‘World of Warcraft: Shadowlands’ is officially dropping in November. Not a bad fucking delay at all!

world of warcraft shadowlands november

You know, when Shadowlands was delayed, I didn’t think it was actually dropping this year. Well! Slap me in the face and call me Maurice The Dumb Ass! Cause the title is dropping in November.

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