#Video Games

Microsoft is buying Bethesda and now owns ‘Doom’, ‘Fallout’, ‘Elder Scrolls’, ‘Wolfenstein’ and a shitload of other titles.

microsoft buying bethesda

Mamma mia! Microsoft is buying Bethesda, motherfuckers. And now the company owns, like, an insane amount of renowned franchises. I’d say shots fired in the fucking console wars, but it seems clear Microsoft is more interested in their GamePass subscription service.

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‘Final Fantasy XVI’ Trailer: Goddamn they’re going back to fantasy, and taking the crystals with them! Sign me the fuck up!

Out of all the shit they showed at the PS5 showcase yesterday, the Final Fantasy XVI trailer made my scrotum the tightest. Like, it looks so goddamn good! Dark, punishing fantasy. On an epic, epic scale.

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Microsoft’s cheaper Next-Gen Xbox Series X is only $300. Begun, the pricing wars have!

microsoft confirms 300 dollars xbox series s

After a fucking deluge of leaks, Microsoft has revealed the price of its cheaper Next-Gen Xbox, the Xbox Series X. The motherfucker is a mere $300! However, man, I ain’t interested. I want my next-gen to be thick. Beefy. Hearty. Tell me the fucking price of the Xbox Series X and PS5, please.

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Nintendo remastering ‘Super Mario 64’, ‘Sunshine’ and ‘Galaxy’ for Switch for ‘Super Mario 3D All-Stars’ to celebrate plumber’s 35th anniversary

super mario 3d all stars galaxy 64 nintendo switch remaster

Man, this is a fucking bundle of wonderfulness, no? Nintendo dropping Super Mario 64, Sunshine, and Galaxy in one meaty bundle. It’s called Super Mario 3D All-Stars, and it’s to celebrate the motherfucker turning 35.

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Oleksandr Kostyliev, Natus Vincere, and Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Over the last few years, Oleksandr Kostyliev has established himself as one of the world’s best Counter-Strike: Global Offensive players. Having played the Valve development since 2012, the Ukrainian has claimed a whole host of accolades during his competitive gaming career, including being named as the MVP (most valuable player) in the 2018 ESL One Cologne.

With success now engrained in Kostyliev’s style of play, the 22-year-old will undoubtedly have his eyes set on future events in his efforts to solidify himself as the game’s best-ever player. So, let’s take a look at s1mple, as he is more frequently known, and consider his chances at a host of upcoming CS:GO events.

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Report: New Nintendo Switch with 4K graphics dropping in 2021. Sign me the fuck up!

nintendo switch hardware upgrade 2021 4K

I fucking regret selling my Nintendo Switch. Okay? I’ll admit it! It appears I’ll get my best shot at acquiring one in 2021, when the company is dropping a new one. Sporting 4K graphics and shit. Seriously. So, for now? I wait. ‘Cause presently? COVID got them motherfuckers scarce!

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This dude turned a watermelon into a working Game Boy. We are all so bored, but respect!

One particular dude is spending his time way more creatively than me during this pandemic. Motherfucker has turned a watermelon into a working Game Boy. Yup! Yup. Behold this wonder of science and nature! Functionally, the son of a bitch “is a Raspberry Pi connected to buttons, a small LCD screen, and an external battery pack, all jammed into a hollowed-out grocery store watermelon” (Cole). Pretty fucking impressive, my dude.

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‘Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League’ Trailer: Rocksteady’s next game has you co-op killing Evil Superman

Rocksteady has finally dropped the trailer for their Suicide Squad game, and I’m pretty whatever. I just cannot get heavily horned-up for a co-op game. I know, I know. You’ll be able to play it solo. But let’s be fucking honest. That’s not how the studio is intending this to be played. You know, for the full experience and shit.

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Sony says PS5 is definitely launching this year. So like, some fucking deets please?

sony ps5 still launching this year

A Sony Czar has confirmed, once again, that PS5 is launching this year. That’s all well and fucking good, but give us some fucking details. I beg you. This Microsoft and Sony stand-off is so fucking stale by now.

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New PlayStation 5 patent suggests its using liquid metal cooling paste. Whatever the fuck it takes, dudes!

ps5 liquid metal cooling paste

Apparently, according to a patent, the PlayStation 5 is using an “Eutectic Liquid Metal type paste, which should improve the heat transfer from the previously used thermal paste” (Fisher). Whatever the fuck that means! I genuinely don’t know. All I know? Is that when I’m playing Ghost of Tsushima, my PS5 sounds like an airplane and runs hotter than fucking balls. So, let’s hope this works!

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