#Video Games

Apple’s 2019 Gaming Revenue Beat Out Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony combined. Holy fuck.

apple gaming revenue beat sony microsoft nintendo combined

You know, I don’t really think of Apple as a gaming company. But, that failure is probably due to my own antiquated idea of what constitutes a gaming company. That fucking shit is on me, and I gotta correct it. ‘Cause man are they into gaming, and man do they make a fuckload of money off of it.

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Hacker brings Google Maps to the NES. Yes, the fucking NES

hacker google maps nes

There’s no good goddamn reason to bring Google Maps to the Nintendo Entertainment System. Okay? I get it. That said, I still heavily fuck with this sort of oddity.

Hit the jump for more info and his YouTube video.

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NES and SNES designer retires after nearly 40 years with the company. What a fucking run.

Imagine being responsible for helping to design the outside case of the NES, the Zapper light gun, and the Wii nunchuk? Well, that’s exactly what Lance Barr did. Huge hog on this guy, enormous BDE (Big Dick, or Big Designer energy, your choice).  Now he’s retiring, and goddamn has he earned every moment of relaxation coming his way.

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‘Halo Infinite’ dropping this December 8 and man am I concerned

halo infinite december 8

Halo Infinite has been in development Hell since before I had gray in my fucking old ass beard. Now it’s time for it to be painfully birthed into existence, with cut features, modes, and stunning silence about its campaign. Ready or not, this fucker is being shat forth on December 8.

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‘Alan Wake 2’ has reportedly moved into “full production” and fuck yes!

alan wake 2 full production

Oh yes, motherfuckers! Alan Wake has reportedly moved into full production and fittingly my reproduction glands have moved to swollen status. I have been waiting for a sequel to the original for a goddamn decade. Ten fucking years! So this shit can’t come soon enough.

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‘Dead Space’ Remake Official Trailer: Cut Off Their Limbs (Again)

Motherfucking Electronic Arts. Got my fucking head spinning. I’m supposed to hate those fucking developer-destroying dick heads. I mean, the only reason Motive is bringing to life this glorious Dead Space remake is ’cause EA fucking mirked Visceral. At the fucking same time? Goddamn am I ever stoked for this remake. At least Electronic Arts is letting someone revive the fucking stone-cold classic. Let’s go, baby! Isaac Clarke, baby!

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Valve’s Steam Deck handheld PC is dropping in December. Everyone wants in on that Switch hotness!

valve steam deck december

Valve wants in on that fucking Switch hotness. Just dripping in their loins to get in on movingthem units. You can’t blame the pig fuckers either, given Nintendo’s continued success. So this December they’re dropping the Steam Deck, which answers the question “What if there was a Steam Switch?” rather well. I ain’t fucking buying it, but goddamn can I see the appeal.

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‘Starfield’ soundtrack being handled by ‘Fallout’ composer Inon Zur. Man, I need this fucking game!

starfield soundtrack fallout composrer

Bethesda ain’t fucking around with Starfield, and this news is the latest proof. The company is bringing in the renowned Fallout composer to handle the soundtrack. Man, this game is really fucking real. Please, Elder Ones, don’t let this game break my heart. I’ve already suffered Mass Effect: Andromeda and Cyberpunk 2077. I beg you.

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Nintendo’s New OLED Switch is dropping this October. Where’s my fucking Pro?!

nintendo oled switch

Nintendo finally revealed their OLED Switch today. Hey, cool, fine. The bummer for me though? It ain’t the Pro. No 4K. Fuckers. That said, it means I can just go out and grab a Switch this week, given that I don’t have to wait for the Pro model.

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‘Dead Space’ Remake in the works at Motive and is akin to ‘Resident Evil 2’ Remake. Fuck yeah!

dead space remake ea motive

We all pretty much knew a Dead Space remake was coming prior to this news. Fuck, I even covered it. However, we know a bit more, and what we have learned has me stoked. The son of a bitch is going to be similar to the Resident Evil 2 remake, which took a lot from its source. Yup! I’m in.

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