#Weekend Open Bar
Mother. Fucking. Yes! It’s the Weekend, friends! Kick off your pants, pick up your preferred drink, and get your ass around the hearth! This is the latest edition of the Open Bar! And man, it feels good to be here. Why? Cause, it’s the last fucking Weekend of the semester, baby! As well, it’s been a long, dark, cold, snow-filled week!
Eternal thanks to JCVD, I’ve fucking made it to this mini vacation. Thanksgiving to the Man Himself, you know? I woke up this morning on the start of my Long Weekend, and, fuck. I actually slept well. It’s amazing how glorious emerging from a deep slumber is, especially when there’s no alarm clock awakening you. I hope you’re as fortunate enough as me to be embarking on your own mini-vacation.
And if so, I hope you’ll spend some time during it here at the Open Bar.
Sharing what you’re going to be doing amid this temporary Oasis. Eating so much you gotta pop your top button? Catching-up on Watchmen, or sweating The Mandalorian? Rock fighting the elderly for a PS4 Pro bundle on Black Friday? I want to know!
Well, it’s official, motherfuckers. Blade Runner is the past. Instead of being a clarion call about the direction we were heading, it’s now officially yet another warning wasted. But, hey! What the fuck can you do. I suppose continue sallying forth towards our inevitable destruction. Or at the least, towards Blade Runner 2049. An equally foreboding portent.
But, the good news! You don’t have to do it alone. As long as the Space-Ship Omega is humming through the digital cosmos, you have a hearth to call your own. As, every weekend, we gather around said hearth. For the Open Bar!
Within these walls, around this hearth, we share what we’re up to during a given weekend. And, I hope you’ll join me! What the fuck is happening this weekend in your life? Are you playing some Fallen Order? Stressfully picking up accouterments for Thanksgiving dinner? Diligently scouring Black Friday ads for where you’re going to inevitably punch a grandma in the tits over a TV?
Hey friends! It’s time for the Open Bar! The chance to hang out with the denizens of Space-Ship Omega throughout the weekend! In fact, it’s the only place and chance to hang out with (Bateman and) me this weekend! I know, I know. Will we ever stream again?
We will next weekend!
And the following week, we got a special stream on Thanksgiving! Seriously!
Kiss the tip of your favorite Elder God, it’s the fucking weekend! Nuzzle their nozzle, gnosh their gnash. It’s time to pay supplication to them! Or, support a local union. Whatever one you prefer. Whatever, whatever! All I fucking know is that it’s the start of the weekend for me. Not only a weekend though, friends. A long weekend.
Not a moment too soon. Honestly, maybe a moment too late. But it’s here!
And per the rules of Weekend Open Bar, I hope you’ll spend some time around the hearth with me. Shooting the shit for the next couple of days. Delving into what you’re diving into this weekend. Are you going to catch a movie? Scream in blind rage at the TV as a fantasy football player of yours drops a touchdown? Mayhaps, you’re just sitting around in a diaper and pouring melted Laffy Taffy onto your sweat-slicked body.
I don’t know! But, I want to! Come hang out.
Oh yeah, motherfuckers! It’s time for high fiving, and high flying! At least for Bateman and me! Tomorrow night we’re going to a Halloween party, and with the lede in mind, you can guess who we are going as! And I’ll confess, I’ve never been closer to having a mustache. And I’ll confess, it terrifies me.
If you’re good, you’ll get pictures. Unless it terrifies you as well, in which you’ll get pictures if you sin.
Anyways! Anyways. This is Weekend Open Bar! It’s the hangout that hits every weekend, imploring you to spend some time with me aboard the Space-Ship Omega.
Hey friends! I’m kicking open the doors to the, uh, Open Bar right quick! Trying to light the lanterns, dust off the chairs, and throw some gasoline on the hearth before Mrs. Omega gets home! So, quickly! You probably know the conceit! The Universe is Dark and Full of Horrors. But, it can feel a little less dire through the power of Hanging The Fuck Out Together. And every weekend I invite each and every member of the Space-Ship Omega to spend time together!
Share what you’re up to! Lighting some fall candles? Share what you’re looking forward to! Seeing It? Share what’s on your mind! Be it a fanciful meme, or a provocative gif.
There is, as always, one golden rule: god dammit, you’ve got to be kind.
This weekend kicks Summer square in the dick, sending it off packing. At least, emotionally. I can’t speak for temperatures, or the literal end of the summer. But after this weekend, the Pop Culture Zeitgeist turns its eyes towards football, fall, and All-Pumpkin-Everything. How does that register across your greasy tits, friends? Me? I’m fucking ready. Ready to lean deeply into Spooky Season. Football season. Hoodie season. All them fucking seasons!
It ain’t over yet, though, until this weekend! A weekend packed with cookouts, crank-downs, and coolers of adult beverages. And so, I’m stoked to enjoy the sendoff, while tapping my feet at its passing.
Nature simply does not give a fuck about us, my dudes. And if you can come to accept that, and work within it, it’s sort of freeing. What’s the Grand Plan for us? Nothing. And what does that mean? Fuck if I know. But, is it all hopeless? Fuck nah! At least not for me, an Absurdist Optimist. I’ll forge ahead. What does that mean?
Some days? It means eating an entire pizza, burping my dick into my underwear, and blogging for a couple hours.
Other days? It means mowing the lawn, patting my dog, and attempting to function like a normal human.
Oh, golly gee, oh golly gee fucking willikers! It’s the Weekend! This is the Open Bar! If you’re reading this, you’re alive! You’ve made it through another week! Or, you’re proof that there’s some sort of thin membrane we cross upon death, only to haunt others from Beyond. That said, welcome! Be you mortal, immortal. Trapped in a perpetual liminal state, or coasting towards death along with me!
Fuck me, fuck me sideways! Where am I? What was I doing?
Oh, oh yeah! Welcoming you to the weekly weekend wanking Open Bar!