#Weekend Open Bar
We’re all living within Dr. Fauci’s houseparty, baby! I got to say, fucking kudos to the absolute force of a man. Being able to persuade the Rotten Orange into issuing decrees (albiet tardily) that he clearly didn’t want to is impressive. Will he win the push for a federal lockdown? Who knows! But, dude has clearly persuaded most states into chilling at home. If I’m even half as cogent as dude is at the age of 79, I’ll consider if a flat-out, nipple-stiffening victory. As an aside, man, can you really contemplate what your nipples and genitals are going will like at that age? Fauci, though? I bet dude has huge balls, though. Cannonballs.
By god! It’s the Weekend! But, what the fuck is the weekend during The Plague? A valid question, honestly. Maybe a lazy question, too. ‘Cause despite working from home, I’ve been goddamn busy. So this weekend is going to be a nice respite from the hectic work schedule.
Get in a little gaming.
Smoke a little weed.
Hang with you fuckers on the stream.
We’re at Doom’s Gate, motherfuckers! But, we’re in it together. I know it seems like small potatoes, but this week has at least felt like a communal panic. It sounds absurd, but it’s nice to feel closer to the communities I’m belong to, and my friends. If we’re on the Titanic, at least we’re all waltzing together, no?
So, let’s waltz here! At the Weekend Open Bar! It’s usually the weekly siesta where we gather, and share what we’re up to during a specific Weekend. And, that’s still the point of this son of a bitch! But, let’s also just hang out, stare at the sky together, and metaphorically scream.
Let’s spend time, friends!
What’s up, travelers aboard the Space-Ship OMEGA? It’s finally, finally the Weekend Open Bar.
Boy. Weird week, no? COVID-19 has finally struck America’s consciousness, and such a strike has felled any sort of normalcy. Ain’t no sports! Ain’t no toilet paper! Movie premieres being delayed. Schools being closed. What the fuck! What the fuck does this all mean?
Honestly, I don’t know!
And a good goddamn Weekend to you all, you fuckers! How are you doing? Attempting to keep the Pushing Through A Malaise and Interacting With Others space-ship going! As well, it’s pretty easy keep reaching out and high-fiving motherfuckers when it’s the weekend. I mean, right?
Speaking of which, grab a chair! Pull up a bean bag! Sit down directly on your balls and scream mercilessly!
I don’t care what you do. So long as you hang out with me this weekend! After all, that’s the point of the motherfucking Open Bar!
Mother. Fucking. Yes! It’s the Weekend, friends! Kick off your pants, pick up your preferred drink, and get your ass around the hearth! This is the latest edition of the Open Bar! And man, it feels good to be here. Why? Cause, it’s the last fucking Weekend of the semester, baby! As well, it’s been a long, dark, cold, snow-filled week!
Eternal thanks to JCVD, I’ve fucking made it to this mini vacation. Thanksgiving to the Man Himself, you know? I woke up this morning on the start of my Long Weekend, and, fuck. I actually slept well. It’s amazing how glorious emerging from a deep slumber is, especially when there’s no alarm clock awakening you. I hope you’re as fortunate enough as me to be embarking on your own mini-vacation.
And if so, I hope you’ll spend some time during it here at the Open Bar.
Sharing what you’re going to be doing amid this temporary Oasis. Eating so much you gotta pop your top button? Catching-up on Watchmen, or sweating The Mandalorian? Rock fighting the elderly for a PS4 Pro bundle on Black Friday? I want to know!
Well, it’s official, motherfuckers. Blade Runner is the past. Instead of being a clarion call about the direction we were heading, it’s now officially yet another warning wasted. But, hey! What the fuck can you do. I suppose continue sallying forth towards our inevitable destruction. Or at the least, towards Blade Runner 2049. An equally foreboding portent.
But, the good news! You don’t have to do it alone. As long as the Space-Ship Omega is humming through the digital cosmos, you have a hearth to call your own. As, every weekend, we gather around said hearth. For the Open Bar!
Within these walls, around this hearth, we share what we’re up to during a given weekend. And, I hope you’ll join me! What the fuck is happening this weekend in your life? Are you playing some Fallen Order? Stressfully picking up accouterments for Thanksgiving dinner? Diligently scouring Black Friday ads for where you’re going to inevitably punch a grandma in the tits over a TV?
Hey friends! It’s time for the Open Bar! The chance to hang out with the denizens of Space-Ship Omega throughout the weekend! In fact, it’s the only place and chance to hang out with (Bateman and) me this weekend! I know, I know. Will we ever stream again?
We will next weekend!
And the following week, we got a special stream on Thanksgiving! Seriously!
Kiss the tip of your favorite Elder God, it’s the fucking weekend! Nuzzle their nozzle, gnosh their gnash. It’s time to pay supplication to them! Or, support a local union. Whatever one you prefer. Whatever, whatever! All I fucking know is that it’s the start of the weekend for me. Not only a weekend though, friends. A long weekend.
Not a moment too soon. Honestly, maybe a moment too late. But it’s here!
And per the rules of Weekend Open Bar, I hope you’ll spend some time around the hearth with me. Shooting the shit for the next couple of days. Delving into what you’re diving into this weekend. Are you going to catch a movie? Scream in blind rage at the TV as a fantasy football player of yours drops a touchdown? Mayhaps, you’re just sitting around in a diaper and pouring melted Laffy Taffy onto your sweat-slicked body.
I don’t know! But, I want to! Come hang out.