‘Hellraiser’ Teaser Trailer: I Want To Believe In Rebooted Legendary Suffering

Here’s a trailer for the new Hellraiser! It’s almost nothing, content wise. So it does nothing either way to ease my skepticism about the new installment! That said, it’s Saturday, and the caffeine is ripping through me, so let’s be optimistic? The director behind the project is super solid, after all!

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‘The Callisto Protocol’ Gameplay Trailer: Oh this fucker is raw, huh?

I am fucking all-in on this spiritual successor to Dead Space, baby! Give me all the fucking gruesome environmental deaths and maiming. I fucking need thee, The Callisto Protocol.

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‘Cabinet of Curiosities’ Trailer: Guillermo del Toro’s Horror Anthology is Stacked

Goddamn! It is October yet? I need Spooky Szn for a variety of reasons and I got another to add to the list. You see motherfuckers, October is the month when Guillermo del Toro’s horror anthology hits Netflix. Goddamn glorious slate of talent behind each episode, too.

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‘Friday the 13th’ Producer teases franchise news soon. Let’s get back to the Lake, bitches!

friday the 13th producer franchise news soon

The producer behind Friday the 13th is teasing franchise news dropping soon. Don’t fuck with us, bro. I mean. Listen, we need a new Friday the 13th. Even if it sucks. Best case scenario? It rocks, we thicken the corpus of the franchise. Worst case scenario? It sucks, we forget it. It can’t fucking hurt!

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New ‘Exorcist’ Trilogy picked up by Universal pictures for a cool $400 million. A Devilish amount of money or some shit!

new exorcist trilogy universal pictures

We ain’t just getting one new installment in The Exorcist series. Motherfuckers, we’re getting a new trilogy! So open your gullet to the thickened paste of refried content, and gulp it down! You better, you better! Universal Pictures demands it, given that they just spent fucking $400 million for the rights.

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‘The Exorcist’ movie coming is a sequel to original film, confirms director David Gordon Green

the exorcist sequel david gordon green

I didn’t even know there was a sequel to The fucking Exorcist coming, but hey! Motherfuckers it’s coming, and it’s going to be a sequel to the original flick. The news was confirmed by director David Gordon Green, who also helmed Halloween 2018. How the fuck do I feel about this? Well, if his Halloween 2018 effort is any indication, I don’t feel great! But hey, whatever the fuck, it’s not like it’ll impact my love for the original.

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‘Hannibal’ creator Bryan Fuller directing new adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘Christine’ and good luck buddy

hannibal creator bryan fuller christine

Everyone loves Bryan Fuller, and I don’t doubt that he’s awesome. But he’s stepping into the shoes of the GOAT John Carpenter with this next project. Dude is directing a new adaptation of Christine, and as I said. Good luck, buddy. Here’s legitimately hoping it’s awesome.

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‘Evil Dead’ Sequel ‘Evil Dead Rise’ dropping on HBO Max. Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell Executive Producing!

evil dead rise

There’s an Evil Dead sequel coming and the motherfucker is coming to HBO Max. Titled Evil Dead Rise, the movie is going to continue within the storylines established in the original trilogy, as opposed to the reboot. Hey! I don’t know if this shit is going to be good, but I’m definitely intrigued. Especially since the project has Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell onboard as executive producers.

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‘Hellraiser’ Remake is officially dropping on Hulu. May its suffering be legendarily awesome!

The Hellraiser remake is continuing to bound through time, space, and conceptions of pain to puncture our reality. The son of a bitch is officially coming to Hulu, and hey why the fuck not. Normally I’d be hesitant about remaking one of my favorite movies, but its director David Bruckner is super fucking solid. As well, if it sucks? Fuck it! No harm, no foul.

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Next Robert Eggers Movie ‘The Northman’ is Dropping in 2022. I’m Ready, My Dark Lord!

next robert eggers movie the northman 2022

Folks, we got a release date for the next motherfucking movie from the director of The Witch and The Lighthouse. Eggers’ next movie The Northman has been tagged to drop in Spring 2022 and I goddamn can’t wait. The world unfurling from its clenched asshole is bringing with it release dates for all sorts of fantastic movies.

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