Understandably, Christopher Nolan really wanted Tenet to be seen on the big screen. I saw it on VOD, and while I enjoyed it, all I could think about is how fucking amazing it would have been at the theater. Since them, intrepid motherfuckers have been getting it to run on a series of nauseatingly inappropriate devices. The latest monstrosity? Dude got it to run on a Game Boy Advance. This shit is equal parts horrifying and wonderful.
Well, now I know how Disney is able to afford the fucking budget for their Star Wars and Marvel shows. The House of Mouse has announced that Disney+ has officially passed the 100 million subscribers mark. Like, holy fuck.
The trailer for the new Mortal Kombat has dropped, and I have no idea if I fucking hate it or not. Undoubtedly, it’s got some of the classic iconography that makes my dick stiffer than one of Sub-Zero’s victims. (That’s an awful pop culture reference, and if you enjoyed it, woof.) At the same time, isn’t this franchise supposed to be fun? It’s a patently idiotic franchise, and that’s what makes the games (and the original movie) so dope. The whole grim dark posturing going on this trailer is pretty ass, and antithetical to the heart of the franchise.
But, you know how it goes. It’s got classic characters doing their classic shit, and people are marks for that sort of pablum.
Where do I fall? Again, I really don’t know. Genuinely.
Watch: David Fincher directed a Super Bowl commercial scored by Atticus Ross. I can’t pass this shit up
Well, it’s certainly not fucking Mindhunter. But, I’ll enjoy this Super Bowl commercial by David Fincher and Atticus Ross all the same. (Fucking hell, I fucking need more Mindhunter. Stop fucking off, Fincher.)
Watch: ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ trailer remade using ‘Super Mario’ movie footage. As terrifying as the game’s launch!
Listen, whether or not we want to admit it, the Super Mario movie is cyberpunk as fuck. So, it makes horrifying sense to use its footage to remake a Cyberpunk 2077 trailer.
Check it out after the jump, because, you know, Twitter embed.
File this under unnecessary-but-still-pretty-cool, my friends. Some dude has managed to compress Shrek and fit all of it onto a 1.44MB floppy disk.
I’m late getting to this piece of slop culture, but hey it’s a fucking holiday. Despite my tardiness, this shit is goddamn remarkable. KFC is dropping a monstrosity that’s part-chicken warmer, part-gaming console. Hail! The slop culture!
Mountain Dew has released a cookbook to celebrate its 80th anniversary. Every day we stray further from God.
Mountain Dew has its own cookbook, folks. Many, many people have told me this, knowing my love for Diet Dew. That said, its existence does feel as though its an affront to God and man alike. But I ain’t turning down some Mountain Dew pancakes if you make ’em for me. Just saying. Let’s revel in sin and gluttony together, while the Lord plans his next flood.
Zuckerberg has staff blow-dry his armpits before speeches. No, seriously. That human suit a bit warm, eh?
More proof that Mark Zuckerberg is a filthy reptilian. Dude needs his staff to blow-dry his armpits before speeches. Obviously, this is a clear sign he’s running hot under his human suit.