#Slop Culture

Disney reveals plans for Marvel-themed park called “Avengers Campus” so we can all be adult children forever, great

avengers campus disney

I’m torn. On one hand, I really want to go to Avengers Campus. On the other hand? All this jerking off to Marvel and other pop culture has me feeling like we’re stuck in some sort of permanent adolescence. Eh, whatever. The Amazon is burning, you’ve never been closer to death. Go have fun.

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Here is every device Disney+ will stream on at launch. Like, no fucking Smart TVs tho?

disney plus streaming devices

Disney has dropped the last of devices that Disney+ will be available at launch. And, like. This is the essence of a first-world problem: it ain’t launching on any Smart TVs. The fuck?

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WordPress is buying Tumblr. They better leave my outlet for booty alone, I beg them!

I spend roughly 85% of my waking life staring at butts on Tumblr. Actually, that may be a conservative estimate. Anyways, WordPress is buying my favorite platform. And if I could say anything to them? Yeah, fine, don’t bring back the porn. But, leave my booty-watching alone.

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Atomik Grain Spirit is vodka made from grains taken from Chernobyl’s Exclusion Zone. ‘Fallout’ fans, pop your boners!

atomik grain spirit chernobyl

I feel as though it’s particularly Fallout to take a rip of this shit. This shit? Atomik Grain Spirit, a vodka made from grains taken from Chernobyl’s Exclusion Zone.

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In Japan, Domino’s has a pizza with two-pounds of cheese. The fuck we waiting for, United States?

dominos pizza japan two pounds cheese

A pizza with two-pounds of cheese? Such a concept is so utterly fucking American that I’m shook to my core that Japan got it first.

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Microsoft is making Xbox body wash so you can smell like Mountain Dew and some other obvious joke!

xbox body wash

In case you need confirmation today that we are living in Hell, here you go. Xbox body wash.

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Disney has gained full control of Hulu as the company continues to buy our entire fucking culture

disney hulu full control

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ, Disney is back at it. The company has gained full control of Hulu, ahead of Disney Plus launching. Not good for our culture, hopefully good for bringing back Daredevil. Maybe?

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McDonald’s is installing AI-Powered kiosks to predict our orders. Our gluttony, simplified for us!

mcdonalds ai powered kiosk

McDonald’s is getting into the AI game, apparently. In order to predict our orders, The Company That Sells Delicious Pink Goop is going to be installing AI-powered kiosks. Keep Reading »

Drake gave Arya a shoutout at Billboard Music Awards, thereby condemning her to death on ‘Game of Thrones’

drake night king shirt

Drake’s endorsement of a sports team usually condemns them to playoff heartbreak. So, ya’ll fans of Arya might want to say a novena. ‘Cause last night the rapper dropped a shoutout to her at the Billboard Music Awards, which can only mean one thing. Logically.

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“Mean” Gene Okerlund has died at age 76. This one feels particularly bad to me, my dudes

mean gene okerlund dead age 76

An inestimably large part of my childhood has sloughed the mortal coil today, friends. Here’s to him helping cut glorious promos in the sky with Macho Man and others.

???!

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