Astronomers detect light coming from behind a black hole for first time. Bert Einstein right again!

astronomers detect light black hole

Even after his death, Berty Einstein’s presence is felt. Astronomers have detected light coming from behind a black hole for a first time, confirming another of dude’s predictions. Rock and roll, Albert! Rock and roll.

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Hubble finds evidence of water vapor on Jupiter’s moon, Ganymede. Hell yeah!

hubble water vapor jupiter ganymede

Hubble is doing us all a solid, finding some fucking water vapor on Jupiter’s moon. Cause lord knows, there ain’t enough here on Earth right now. You know, given all the fucking droughts. Given the fact that I can’t fucking breath outside here on the East Coast because the West Coast is on fire. Okay, fine. A tenuous connection to this dope news, but cut me some slack. My air is poison.

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Scientists launching fucking football stadium-sized helium balloon to measure Dark Matter. That’s what’s up!

scientists helium balloon dark matter

Where there’s a desire to study dark fucking matter, there’s a way! Need a better look at the Cosmos? Just launch a fucking helium balloon into space! Meet the goddamn SuperBIT!

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Jupiter officially has another motherfucking moon!

jupiter new moon

Jupiter just don’t fucking quit with this shit. Throwing around its thiccc fucking ass, officially gaining yet another new moon. Fucking chill, baby!

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NASA’s Curiosity Rover may be chilling right next to microbe burps on Mars.

When I burp, my wife vomits and the cats leave the room. When microbes on Mars burp, everyone jizzes in their pants. Like, I get it. But also show me some charity. My digestive track is just a collection of cheese and caffeine.

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Study suggests Methane Plumes on Saturn’s moon Enceladus could be sign of alien life!

scientists life saturn moon

Are the methane plumes on Saturn’s moon Enceladus indicative of alien life? Maybe! And that’s enough to get my tits stiffening. Am I overreacting? Sure, maybe. Who knows. But. Listen, I’m fucking in on all potential signs of alien life. Microbes, methane plumes, whatever the fuck.

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NASA finds more subsurface lakes on Mars. Probably frozen, but still rad as fuck

nasa scientists mars subsurface lakes

NASA scientists have identified more subsurface lakes on the Red Planet, folks. While they are likely frozen, I still find this to be a bad ass development.

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Rocket Lab wins contract to build spacecraft for NASA’s Mars mission. Let’s fucking go!

rocket lab nasa mars mission

Honestly, I ain’t never heard of Rocket Lab. That is until today, when it was announced they will be designing spacecraft for NASA’s Mars mission. Hey, whatever the fuck it takes! Hey, whomever the fuck it takes! Let’s get our asses to Mars.

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NASA is returning to Venus for two missions by 2030. Study that fuckin’ protomolecule, fellas!

nasa venus two missions 2030

Absolutely no news about Venus missions would be complete without me being a dork. You know, referencing The Expanse and shit. So here we go! NASA is returning to Venus for two missions by 2030, and yup, you got it. Protomolecule time.

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NASA’s Curiosity Rover gives sexy look at cloudy days on Mars

nasa mars curiosity rover clouds

Cloudy days here on the Blue Marble? Fucking suck. Cloudy days on Mars? A novelty, especially when Curiosity sends back images of them.

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