#Space

Scientists baffled by strange radio waves coming from center of the Milky Way Galaxy. The aliens are inside the cosmic house!

scientists radio waves milky way galaxy

Scientists ain’t got a clue about the fucking strange radio waves coming from the center of our galaxy. Ain’t got a fucking clue! Straight baffled! But, I mean, come on. It’s (probably not) aliens. Obviously.

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NASA Rover has confirmed giant ass Martian crater used to be a lake!

nasa rover martian crater lake

Motherfucking Mars used to have a lake, dudes. Let’s get there, terraform that shit, and then start this whole shit show all over again. Maybe? Word? I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Unless I ain’t? Anyways, fucking hell, let’s just be stoked about this find.

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NASA is testing electric “air taxis” and here’s the fucking future I was promised!

nasa test flight air taxi

Where the fuck is my fucking jet pack? We were promised jet packs! Instead, we got climate crisis!  This ain’t the future pop culture promised! I mean, the only time travel we fucking got is Texas hurtling backwards in time! However, apparently it ain’t all dogshit. Motherfucking NASA is testing electric air taxis, and, okay, this is dope.

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Scientists identify new class of planet with massive oceans possibly home to alien life!

scientists ocean worlds alien life

Scientists are like, we need to get the fuck outta here. We gotta find some habitable fucking planets. Well, they’ve found some massive ass ocean worlds. Good job, dorks. Good job, eggheads. Just kidding, I fucking love ya’ll. Now these planets. Do they have life? Perhaps! Could they support our life? Not sure! None the less, meet these fucking “Hycean” planets!

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Jeff Bezos Dick Rocket Scale Model goes on sale. Totally isn’t a dildo. Totally ?

blue origin model rocket dildo

Some folks have said the scale model of Blue Origin’s rocket now on sale isn’t a dildo. My emphatic, ideology-driven retort? Anything can be a dildo so long as you have faith in yourself and an open mind to the curiosities of the world.

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Someone is working on secret “privately owned” Space Station. It ain’t fucking me, but I want in

secret space station

Ah, 2021. Sometimes your fucking headlines are depressingly preposterous. Sometimes preposterously depressing. Then sometimes like today, they’re just sort of fucking preposterous. We got some motherfucker(s) building a privately owned space station. I can’t knock their desire to get the fuck outta here, but I do want them to take me.

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NASA’s Mars Rover may on site of Ancient Pond, not huge lake as previously thought. Water is water is water, bro.

mars rover ancient pond not lake

Okay, I know that water is not water is not water. Like, there’s a strong difference between a fucking ancient pond and a huge lake. But, either way, I’m fucking stoked for what the NASA Mars Rover is studying. And besides, this is just one new theory about what the fuck happened in the Gale crater. We still don’t fucking know! The cosmos, man.

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Two red objects found in the Asteroid Belt help explain our early solar system!

two red objects asteroid belt early solar system

Astronomers have found two red objects in our Asteroid belt. Big fucking deal, right? Actually, big fucking deal! Them fuckers shouldn’t be there, and they may actually explain our early system. You two red objects! You helpful fuckers!

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Astronomers detect light coming from behind a black hole for first time. Bert Einstein right again!

astronomers detect light black hole

Even after his death, Berty Einstein’s presence is felt. Astronomers have detected light coming from behind a black hole for a first time, confirming another of dude’s predictions. Rock and roll, Albert! Rock and roll.

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Hubble finds evidence of water vapor on Jupiter’s moon, Ganymede. Hell yeah!

hubble water vapor jupiter ganymede

Hubble is doing us all a solid, finding some fucking water vapor on Jupiter’s moon. Cause lord knows, there ain’t enough here on Earth right now. You know, given all the fucking droughts. Given the fact that I can’t fucking breath outside here on the East Coast because the West Coast is on fire. Okay, fine. A tenuous connection to this dope news, but cut me some slack. My air is poison.

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