Milky Way Galaxy’s supermassive black hole got 75 times brighter for two-hours and we got no goddamn clue why

milky way galaxy brighter

Recently, our Milky Way Galaxy’s supermassive black hole shone brighter than a motherfucker for two-hours. And, the reason for it? We got no idea. Which is half of the awesomeness.

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Jupiter had something seriously huge smash into it on Wednesday. The Cosmos don’t give a shit about us!

jupiter big slammed

I’ve long known that Jupiter serves as a bulwark for the rest of the solar system. Eating some tremendously large objects to protect the rest of it. Whelp, Wednesday night? Something seriously huge smashed into the planet. This all, you know, underscores the importance of getting humans spread across the solar system. Diversify our asses for when Earth inevitably takes one right off the chin.

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NASA shares gorgeous image of Jupiter’s Great Red Spot that Hubble snapped this past June

hubble jupiter great red spot

Question: Can there be too many pictures of Jupiter’s Great Red Spot? Answer: fucking of course not.

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Astronomers have just detected dozen of missing galaxies from the Early Universe. The Cosmos always excites, my dudes

missing galaxies universe

I say, goddamn! Another week, another fantastic-ass find by astronomers. This time? Oh, they’ve just detected dozens of galaxies from the early universe. Previously hidden.

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Astronomers have discovered new kind of pulsating star that changes brightness every five minutes. What is it trying to say?!

Astronomers have a “new kind” of “pulsating star” that “changes brightness” every five minutes. Yo, you can’t fool me! Something is communicating to us from the Beyond! I’m just fucking around, but this is dope.

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Astronomers have found that the Milky Way Galaxy is “warped and twisted” just like its inhabitants

Surprisingly, at least to me, is this shit! The Milky Way Galaxy ain’t flat like a pancake. Instead, our galaxy’s stellar disk is an s-shape. Pretty fucking wild.

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Ancient meteor strike on Mars may have caused planet-sized tsunami and prove there once was an ocean in Northern hemisphere

ancient meteor tsunami mars

Got a lot going on in that messy fucking headline, no? Let’s break it down. A gigantic crater on Mars has some scientists convinced there was an ocean in Mars’ northern hemisphere. Additionally, the impact that caused the crater may have caused a planet-sized tsunami.

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NASA’s exoplanet hunting TESS telescope captures mysterious supernova, going above and beyond its job

nasa exoplanet tess supernova

NASA’s TESS has spotted a mysterious supernova, friends! Said supernova left behind hydrogen, which, apparently, ain’t supposed to be found in a white dwarf.

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NASA approves plan to 3D Print spaceship parts in orbit. In orbit! The future is getting wild, my dudes!

nasa 3d print spaceship parts

NASA has approved a plan to print motherfucking spaceship parts in orbit. This news comes on the heels of last week’s revelation that Russia intends to 3D print moon bases. On the Moon. Shit is getting interesting, friends.

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Japanese space probe Hayabusa returns to asteroid it BOMBED to take pics, collect more samples. Metal as Fuck++

japan hayabusa asteroid samples

The Japanese space probe Hayabusa is doing fucking work, dudes. It returned to the asteroid it bombed to take pics and collect more samples. I mean, goddamn. Space probe out there doing rad shit, while I scratch my ass and jerk off for a third time today.

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