Sony announces PlayStation 5 event for June 4th. Hope they show actual decent amount of gameplay, unlike fucking Microsoft’s event

Sony’s finally giving us something fucking PlayStation 5 related, folks. It’s going to be an event next week, where they’ll showcase PS5 games. This is dope as hell in theory, if they actually show gameplay unlike Microsoft’s fucking Xbox Series X presser.

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‘Upgrade’ TV series coming from director Leigh Whannell and Blumhouse. This fucking rocks, dudes.

upgrade tv series leigh whannell

Upgrade was a rad-ass movie that like 0% of the population saw. You fucking chodes. However, director Leigh Whannell is bringing it to television. This is it, your second chance. Watch this TV series, fools.

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Martin Scorsese teaming-up with Apple to make expensive-ass ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’ movie adaptation

martin scorsese apple paramount killers of the flower moon

First he partnered with Netflix, and now Scorsese has found another streaming behemoth to help fund his next movie. Dude is teaming-up with Apple for Killers of the Flower Moon. It’s the fucking future, baby!

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Xbox Series X gonna be able to improve older games with HDR and 120 fps. Excessive, but neat

xbox series x hdr 120 fps older games

Another week, another pretty cool nugget about the Xbox Series X. The motherfucker is gonna be able to enhance older games, adding support HDR and 120 fps. Is it necessary? Not really. Is it neat? You bet. Meanwhile, in Sony’s camp? Crickets.

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Henry Cavill in talks to return as Superman in upcoming DC movie. Sure, why not?

henry cavill superman return upcoming dc movie

Henry Cavill! Dude is apparently in talks to return as Superman in a movie. Not a Man of Steel sequel, though. Some other shit. My thoughts? Sure, why not! Dude was functional enough, especially given the scripts he had to work with.

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Christopher Nolan crashed a real Boeing 747 for ‘Tenet’ instead of using CG. Fucking respect, man.

christopher nolan crash 747 tenet

Christopher Nolan crashed a motherfucking Boeing 747 for Tenet, instead of using CG. My word.  Bro doesn’t fuck around. Dude loves shooting on film, and apparently he also loves crashing shit instead of using shitty looking rendered visuals.

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The Safdie Brothers sign first-look deal with HBO. Uncut awesomeness, amirite?

the safdie brothers first-look deal hbo

The Safdie Brothers fucking rock. So, I’m jazzed and jizzing over their first-look deal with HBO.

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Sony is planning a PlayStation 5 conference for next week, on June 3. Give me a fucking launch date and price, I beg you!

sony playstation 5 conference june 3

Mamma fucking mia! Could next week be the date that I get a launch date and a launch price for my PlayStation 5? It’s looking good, it’s looking good. There’s a conference set for June 3.

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‘Grand Theft Auto VI’ may be dropping in 2023, according to this Take-Two SEC filing. I’ll take these fucking crumbs!

grand theft auto vi 2023

When the fuck is Grand Theft Auto VI dropping? If this Take-Two SEC filing is any indication, it’ll be 2023. A solid fucking decade after GTA V. What exactly does this filing provide, that suggests this? It reveals that the company “expects to spend $89 million on marketing during the 12-month period ending March 31, 2024. That is more than twice the marketing budget for any other fiscal year over the next half-decade” and what franchise could spur that one? Motherfucking GTA.

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Monday Morning Commute: Prayers Up!

monday morning commute prayers up

I’m on vacation, but fuck I’m awful at enjoying it. Nothing says “I’m fucking crushing this relaxing thing” like waking up at 9:30 this morning, veins white-hot with irrational anxiety. But! I’m happy to say I have rallied since then. Took a two-mile walk, exercised a bit. Sucked in the rays from the Central Engine, and felt my rectum loosen just a bit. Justa-bit. However, that’s better than nothing, right? And folks, good news.

I’m asking you to help loosen my rectum even further. That’s right, that’s right! Pull up a chair, and shoot the shit with me. Tell me what you’re looking forward to this week, and watch in glee-and-horror as the ole o-ring relaxes to a healthy sort of dour droop. I don’t ask for much, but I’m asking for this. Let us imbibe in the sweetened, honeyed nectar of community, together. And share in the experience of watching as he gets me where I need to be.

Please?

This is Monday Morning Commute.

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