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Pentagon Confirms Footage of UFOs Flying Around Navy Ships Is Real. Bruh! Holy shit.

pentagon confirms ufo footage ships is real

We live in outrageous times for fucking UFO news. Like, the Pentagon has confirmed footage of UFOs flying around Navy ships is real. Is fucking real! Now, okay. They’re probably not actual aliens (I mean, I think they are) — but the government acknowledging they don’t know what they are? Fucking sick.

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‘F9’ Trailer: Fast Cars, John Cena, and uh, Space!

I cannot fucking wait for F9. Of course, the new trailer for the installment looks as fucking ridiculous as usual. But with director Justin Lin returning to the franchise, the trailer also features fantastic action the dude is known for.

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MIT Scientists Release Music Made By Spiders. What The Fuck?

MIT scientists have released music made by spiders. Specifically, the music was generated by translating the structure of a spider web into music. You know, I don’t know what the fuck this means, but I’m here for it. That said, I ain’t gonna listen to it. Absolutely fucking haunting idea.

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‘BioShock 4’ job listings seem to confirm an open-world and sidequests. A rapturous development or something!

bioshock 4 job listings open world sidequests

You know, I had completely forgotten we were getting a BioShock 4. But fuck if we’re going to be getting one, sure, make it open-world! Legit. Let me wander around some sort of fallen utopia.

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‘Army of the Day’ Trailer: A Zombie Heist Movie? Sign Me Up.

In this post-pandemic world, this new world, there’s a new me. And this new me? Apparently he fucks with Zack Snyder. ‘Cause this trailer for Army of the Dead looks so fucking good-and-stupid and I’m completely in. Give me Bautista and Friends absolutely annihilating zombies in that glorious, overwrought, absurdly slick Snyder style.

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Monday Morning Commute: Coming Alive

What’s up, friends? I must admit I created the column’s title and image above yesterday, when I was feeling decidedly much better. Today? On Tuesday? I don’t know man, I’m fucking tired. Slept like shit. Sam’s been waiting for a call regarding her potential job, so the entire house is feeling them stressed vibes. Teaching? A fucking grind!

But it ain’t all shitty, you know? The Super Covid Serum continues to work in my meat-bag, and I’m looking forward to passing the the two-week mark next week. Then I will be invincible! Capable of downloading 5G directly into my brain, scaling the tallest buildings, and communing with my God-Emperor, Bill Gates!

Anyways, I’m sorry I’m complaining! Let’s hang the fuck out, fellas! Fellas of any gender! Species! This is Monday Morning Commute! Per the column’s ontological imperative, I’m about to give a rundown of what I’m digging this week! Then you’re gonna join me in the comments section.

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Rumors suggest ‘Resident Evil: Village’ has an Unlockable Roguelike mode! Throwback to Mercenaries, baby?!

resident evil unlockable roguelike mode

Well, this is sort of dope! According to motherfucking rumors, Resident Evil: Village has an unlockable roguelike mode! While so many games tack on battle royales, it’s sort of neat to see this shit going roguelike. Roguelike, you say?! What?! Listen, this definitely sounds like a great throwback to the Mercenaries mode from Resident Evil 4. Which was an all-time fave minigame of mine.

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‘American Gladiators’ is getting a ’30 for 30′ Documentary and this is so fucking outrageous I’m in

american gladiators 30 for 30 documentary

American Gladiators is getting itself a fucking 30 for 30 documentary, and I’m absolutely here for it. Like many young bucks with developing brains in the 1980s, this show sculpted my ideas surrounding being a bad ass, and absolutely dominating with a tennis ball Gatling gun. There was a tennis ball Gatling gun, right?

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‘Gundam’ live-action movie coming from ‘Kong: Skull Island’ director Jordan Vogt-Roberts and Netflix

Hey! The dude behind Kong: Skull Island is directing a live-action Gundam movie for Netflix! My take? Hey, sure! Why the fuck not, right?

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Space Swoon: Mars got itself some glorious, beautiful blue dunes

nasa mars blue sand dunes

Ya’ll want Dune? Gonna have to wait. Ya’ll want a picture of Mars’ bright blue sand dunes courtesy of NASA? You’re in the right place.

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