Turkey Stream, motherfuckers!
A giant telescope on the Moon? Intended to see into the Deep Past? Oh fuck yeah. My dudes, this is the astronomical shit I’m all about.
Can’t get a fucking PlayStation 5? Well, that’s because it’s the biggest launch in console history. I mean, it’s also because of fucking shit-ass scalpers. But, also because of its launch success.
Scientists discover mysterious metal monolith in Utah. I’ve seen ‘2001’ and this shit is gonna be great
Ah, 2020. You just don’t fucking quit, man. I mean, seriously? Scientists have discovered a motherfucking mysterious metal monolith has been discovered in Utah. Like, you can’t make this shit up. But, I’m stoked. Time to get our asses to Jupiter.
NASA is just cracking open Mars, dudes. Straight fucking finding all sort of dope-ass shit out about it. The latest little morsel of scrotum-tightening awesomeness is evidence of ancient megafloods on Mars. Megafloods!
Well, I wasn’t expecting this. The Expanse has been renewed for a sixth and final season. Given that there’s like, nine books, I’m wondering how they’re going to compact it. That said, the creators are heavily involved, and thus I’m gonna have faith! Why the fuck not? 2020 fucking sucks, let’s spit in the face of cynicism.
Hey! You fucks! How are you all doing? During this week of Giving Thanks, amid the most rotten-ass year in memory? How are you all doing? During this week of a Blackest Friday, amid the most rotten-ass year of Fridays in memory? This guy? Truthfully, I’m fucking zonked, dude. My core feels hallowed out, and spread across the astral plane. I exist as a collection of core functions, shambling through the next couple of days. If I can make it to Thursday, I’m golden!
Then? On Thursday? I’m popping on a pair of joggers, pulling up a chair, and just fucking getting gluttonous. Consuming some Thanksgiving feast. Consuming some shitty movies with Bateman. Consuming some Spider-Man: Miles Morales.
I’m really just leaning into the concept of elastic waistbands and corpulence this week.
Tell me, what are your plans this week? Crushing some mashed potatoes? Crushing some Shadowlands? Crushing a backlog of comic books with your free time?
I want to know!
This is Monday Morning Commute, Thanksgiving Week Edition!
I was fearful that Cyberpunk 2077 wasn’t going to be long. And boy, does it appear those fears were unfounded. The motherfucker is clocking in at over 175 hours. Which is goddamn glorious, especially since it drops the last day of the semester for me.
A copy of ‘Super Mario Bros. 3’ just sold for $156,000. That’s a lot of fucking Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers!
Jesus fucking Christ! A copy of Super Marios Bros. 3 just sold for $156,000. The reason? The motherfucker has a rare box design. Uh. Okay. Like, on one hand this is fucking preposterous. But, on the other hand? If I had “fuck you” money, I would absolutely be embracing my nostalgia like this.
Man, I really need to watch The Witcher. This “Holiday Slay Ride” trailer has reminded me of this fact, dudes. I have to admit, I really fuck with how the show is willing to be silly, man. It’s a breath of fresh air in a pop culture where so many franchises are trying to be taken so seriously.
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