#Caffeine Powered

Space Swoon: NASA’s Juno captures Jupiter as it glances back. Look back at it, look back at it!

juno spacecraft jupiter

NASA’s Juno spacecraft caught this gorgeous image of Jupiter! It was taken as the spacecraft sped away from the big gaseous bastard, and provides a look at its southern hemisphere.

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PlayStation 5 dev kits have leaked and they’re that ugly shape that was rumored, friends

playstation 5 dev kit

PS5 dev kits have leaked, friends! A twitter user dropped a few pictures of them, and, yup, they’re the shape that patents suggested a few months ago. That said, I’d be surprised if the actual consoles share the look.

Hit the jump to check them out!

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Streaming tonight, friends! It’s a three-peat, bitches!

it's a three-peat

After being inconsistent as fuck, we’re bringing you a third glorious stream in a seven-day span. Playing Celeste! Talking snipped testicles, childhood trauma, and other deeply engaging trash.

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Long Weekend Open Bar: Eternal Thanks to JCVD for this Mini-Vacation!

weekend open bar eternal thanks

Eternal thanks to JCVD, I’ve fucking made it to this mini vacation. Thanksgiving to the Man Himself, you know? I woke up this morning on the start of my Long Weekend, and, fuck. I actually slept well. It’s amazing how glorious emerging from a deep slumber is, especially when there’s no alarm clock awakening you. I hope you’re as fortunate enough as me to be embarking on your own mini-vacation.

And if so, I hope you’ll spend some time during it here at the Open Bar.

Sharing what you’re going to be doing amid this temporary Oasis. Eating so much you gotta pop your top button? Catching-up on Watchmen, or sweating The Mandalorian? Rock fighting the elderly for a PS4 Pro bundle on Black Friday? I want to know!

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‘Hunters’ Trailer: Al Pacino and Gang hunt Nazis in Jordan Peele’s Amazon series. I’m fucking in!

Al Pacino hunting Nazis? In a show produced by Jordan Peele? Yeah kid, I’m fucking in.

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Xbox’s next console Project Scarlett won’t do VR because “no one’s asking for it” and I respect that shit

xbox project scarlett no vr

Let’s get it out of the way, you fucking pendants. Surely, some people are asking for VR. But, I’m in support of Microsoft’s decision not to do VR on Project Scarlett. Why? It’ll let the fuckers concentrate on why people buy a new XBOX: the fucking games. It’s a refreshing refocus. You know, after trying to be a jack-of-all-trades at the beginning of this console cycle with a fucking Kinect, and a TV tuner, and other bullshit.

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Astronomers have spotted first Galaxy with three supermassive black holes. Write your own jokes, kthnx!

astronomers galaxy three supermassive black holes

For decades, Astronomy Wizards thought galaxy NGC 6240 contained two supermassive black holes. But, motherfuckers were off by one! That’s right, NGC 6240 got 33% more black holes than previously thought. Awesome.

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‘The Batman’ casts John Turturro as Carmine Falcone. My word, this cast!

john turturro the batman carmine falcone

John Turturro is the latest talented actor to join The Batmam in the role of Carmine Falcone. At this point, this cast is flat out preposterous.

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Reports: ‘Resident Evil 3’ Remake is arriving in 2020. Hey, Capcom you could always make a new ‘Resident Evil’ game again, right, you know this, right?

resident evil 3 remake 2020

Resident Evil 3 remake is dropping in 2020. But, let me just be blunt. I’m fucking tired of remakes. Make a new fucking title in the franchise, ya bums.

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Weekend Open Bar: Days of Future Past

weekend open bar days of future past

Well, it’s official, motherfuckers. Blade Runner is the past. Instead of being a clarion call about the direction we were heading, it’s now officially yet another warning wasted. But, hey! What the fuck can you do. I suppose continue sallying forth towards our inevitable destruction. Or at the least, towards Blade Runner 2049. An equally foreboding portent.

But, the good news! You don’t have to do it alone. As long as the Space-Ship Omega is humming through the digital cosmos, you have a hearth to call your own. As, every weekend, we gather around said hearth. For the Open Bar!

Within these walls, around this hearth, we share what we’re up to during a given weekend. And, I hope you’ll join me! What the fuck is happening this weekend in your life? Are you playing some Fallen Order? Stressfully picking up accouterments for Thanksgiving dinner? Diligently scouring Black Friday ads for where you’re going to inevitably punch a grandma in the tits over a TV?

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