Amazon’s ‘The Dark Tower’ series will start production this Spring. Can’t be worse than the fuckin’ movie!

amazon dark tower production

The Dark Tower movie objectively sucked ass. But, that isn’t stopping Amazon from bringing a TV series to life. And honestly? This shit was always better suited for a TV series. So, I’m cautiously optimistic.

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Howard the Duck and M.O.D.O.K. headline four animated Marvel series coming to Hulu!

howard the duck hulu marvel

I’m just, I’m just so fucking fatigued with all these comic book adaptations. I barely got the nut-sauce for the movies, and man. Everything else? Fatigued. That said, there’s some genuine talent here. I mean, Patton Oswalt? Hell yeah. Still though. Fatigued.

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Maybe: The ‘Star Wars: Episode IX’ title has leaked. Let the speculation begin!

star wars balance of the force episode ix

Yeah, I don’t know. This is a nothing post, based off of rumor! But, I think the leak is probably real. And, I like speculating about one of my favorite things in the known Cosmos: Star Wars. I’m posting this shit after the jump, in case you don’t want it spoiled.

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Marshmello putting on concert in ‘Fortnite’ this weekend, combining TWO OF THE FUCKING CORNIEST THINGS GOING

marshmello fortnite concert

Marshmello. Has that lame ass song you probably hum along to. Fortnite. Undeniably corny, but it seems that everyone fucking plays it. Therefore, it makes sense to combine both of these lame-ass entities. The only way this shit could get more whack is if that industry shill dork-ass Ninja hosted the concert.

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Ben Affleck is officially out as Batman in a move we all saw coming three years ago

ben affleck out as batman

Finally, confirmation. And, I say, good.

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Nintendo has scrapped all of ‘Metroid Prime 4’ development and is starting the fuck over

metroid prime 4 rebooted

Nintendo has scrapped all of Metroid Prime 4‘s development, friends. The company announced it today, along with the news that development is returning to Retro Studios. They were responsible for the previous Metroid Prime games, though a good amount of the talent responsible has moved on from the studio.

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Watch: HBO drops first look at ‘Watchmen’ and I’m so fucking hype

Last night, HBO dropped a straight-up morsel of their upcoming Watchmen adaptation. It was part of a package of teasers that you can check out above. Is it a lot? Hell nah. Does it tickle my balls? Hell yeah.

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Report: ‘The Batman’ could finally fucking begin filming in November. Does this do anything for you?

the batman filming november

DC gotta be breathing a sigh of relief, right? After years of shitting all over themselves, they finally have two hits in Wonder Woman and Aquaman. That said, I’m sure they’d love to have their premiere character, Batman, finally knock it out of the park again. Will Matt Reeves and company be able to pull it off? I think so, but we won’t know until at least 2020.

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Monday Morning Commute: Old Len’s Sigh

Old Len's Sigh

As a headcase, a verifiable neurotic, a society-dwelling maniac, I often have mixed feelings about New Year’s Eve. Add to the fact that my life has thrown me some real curveballs over the last few years, and, well, I don’t necessarily always look forward to this evening.

There have been New Year’s Eves that I’ve felt absolutely breathless. I’ve watched that ball drop while struggling to not keel over, counting down while remaining unenthusiastic about walking the road in front of me. There have been New Year’s Eves where I’ve felt ravaged by the previous twelve months, like a sailor aboard the Pequod starting to understand the captain as madness incarnate. There have been New Year’s Eves where I’ve felt existentially disheveled, like a time traveler regaining consciousness only to realize that he’d hit a couple of extra buttons before launch.

I don’t exactly feel any of this right now.

Today, in this moment, I’ve got my breath – it’s slow and deep and thoughtful, and the cool air feels great on my hot lungs. The road in front of me, well, I have to admit that I can’t see too much of it at all. But what I can see looks inviting, or, at the very least, it doesn’t look too foreboding. I still feel like a sailor aboard the Pequod, but I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m on this goddamn voyage — there’s no wishing it away — so I’m going to do my best to help my fellow crewmates when the elements try to kill us or when that incorrigible captain thrusts us into danger, and I’m not going to forget about the simple pleasures of the saltwater breeze or the sunbeam precipitation. And, of course, I still feel like a time traveler, but as I look around I take solace in the fact that the lot of us, every single one of us who cruised at a time-speed of 365 days per Year, we’re all dusting off our trousers and exclaiming “That was wild!”

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I have no fucking clue what my life will be like next NYE. I have some guesses, but I’m not a gambling man so I’ll just keep them to myself. Instead, I’d like to offer my sincere hopes that you find the next year full of the good health, the great experiences, and the transcendent love that makes this thing called life worth it.

“Live long and prosper.”


Welcome to this year’s final MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!

When I’m at the helm of the MMC, it normally consists of me presenting some half-baked science fiction and then explaining what stuff I’ll be checking out in the next year.

But since the year ends today, I’m feeling reflective and speculative. So, now that you’ve slogged through my half-baked reflection, let’s think about what’s to come next — it could be for this upcoming week, month, or year.

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‘Hades’ Trailer: The company behind ‘Bastion’ and ‘Transistor’ goes slash-em-up, baby!

Goddamn, yes.

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