#Miscellaneous
Asteroid Bennu is exploding rocks out into space and astronomers don’t know why. The Cosmos continues to confound!
Asteroid Bennu more active than a motherfucker. Astronomers have spotted the asteroid exploding rockers out into space, and they’re stumped. Goddamn, the Cosmos is so damn interesting.
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Streaming tonight, friends! It’s a three-peat, bitches!
After being inconsistent as fuck, we’re bringing you a third glorious stream in a seven-day span. Playing Celeste! Talking snipped testicles, childhood trauma, and other deeply engaging trash.
‘Hunters’ Trailer: Al Pacino and Gang hunt Nazis in Jordan Peele’s Amazon series. I’m fucking in!
Al Pacino hunting Nazis? In a show produced by Jordan Peele? Yeah kid, I’m fucking in.
Reports: ‘Resident Evil 3’ Remake is arriving in 2020. Hey, Capcom you could always make a new ‘Resident Evil’ game again, right, you know this, right?
A Resident Evil 3 remake is dropping in 2020. But, let me just be blunt. I’m fucking tired of remakes. Make a new fucking title in the franchise, ya bums.
Monday Morning Commute: Booty Hunting Is A Complicated Profession
It ’tis I, the booty hunter! You know me! The man who can stare at gifs of butts on Tumblr for hours, but is always late with Monday Morning Commute. Listen! Listen. Booty hunting is a complicated profession. But more than that, it is gloriously passive. Way easier to watch ’em giggle than to pen something. Even slop! Even slop such as this, I know.
But! The booty hunter has arrived, and I’ve got with me my weekly satchel of sacred distractions that are getting me through the week. And oh, fuck, do I hate the weeks lately. Dark as fuck. Cold as fuck. I want to bury myself in blankets and caloric excess and wait for Spring. But, I can’t yield just yet. I mean, we got a significant amount of fucking months to go, and I can’t throw in the towel.
So this here is Monday Morning Commute! And the forthcoming are what I’m enjoying or looking forward to this week! I hope you’ll share your own satchel of sacred distractions in the comments section!
I must admit, I’m going to be quick! Dinner is on the way, and The Mandalorian awaits me. If I can punch this out prior to Mr. Door Dash arriving, I’ll be ecstatic.
Nintendo Switch has sold more than 15 million fucking consoles. Tops console sales for 10th straight month. Straight cash, homey!
The Nintendo Switch is still selling like hotcakes, folks. The console has passed 15 million units sold! As well, it has taken the monthly throne for the 10th straight month. But, I suppose this shit ain’t surprising. It’s a dope console, and its competition has been out for six years.
Astronomers discover 20 new moons around Saturn. Jupiter ain’t got shit on Saturn now!
Take that, Jupiter. You big gaseous fuck! You’re n longer the leader in number of satellites. Nope, that belongs to Saturn now who has 20 newly discovered moons!
Dude gets ‘Doom’ running on a McDonald’s cash register. Future is wild.
People want to put the original Doom on everything. Doom on an ATM. Doom on a printer. The latest? Doom on a fucking McDonald’s cash register.
