‘Midsommar’ director Ari Aster’s next movie is a “nightmare comedy” that’s four-hours long. Sign me the fuck up, anyways!

ari aster midsommar nightmare comedy

Midsommar director Ari Aster’s next flick is a “nightmare comedy” running four-hours long. I’ve been on record multiple, multiple times saying that no movie should be more than ninety minutes. So, you can go ahead and call me a fraud here. My deflection? This is one of those times where the exception proves the rule. Suck it.

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‘Upgrade’ TV series coming from director Leigh Whannell and Blumhouse. This fucking rocks, dudes.

upgrade tv series leigh whannell

Upgrade was a rad-ass movie that like 0% of the population saw. You fucking chodes. However, director Leigh Whannell is bringing it to television. This is it, your second chance. Watch this TV series, fools.

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Martin Scorsese teaming-up with Apple to make expensive-ass ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’ movie adaptation

martin scorsese apple paramount killers of the flower moon

First he partnered with Netflix, and now Scorsese has found another streaming behemoth to help fund his next movie. Dude is teaming-up with Apple for Killers of the Flower Moon. It’s the fucking future, baby!

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Henry Cavill in talks to return as Superman in upcoming DC movie. Sure, why not?

henry cavill superman return upcoming dc movie

Henry Cavill! Dude is apparently in talks to return as Superman in a movie. Not a Man of Steel sequel, though. Some other shit. My thoughts? Sure, why not! Dude was functional enough, especially given the scripts he had to work with.

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Christopher Nolan crashed a real Boeing 747 for ‘Tenet’ instead of using CG. Fucking respect, man.

christopher nolan crash 747 tenet

Christopher Nolan crashed a motherfucking Boeing 747 for Tenet, instead of using CG. My word.  Bro doesn’t fuck around. Dude loves shooting on film, and apparently he also loves crashing shit instead of using shitty looking rendered visuals.

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The Safdie Brothers sign first-look deal with HBO. Uncut awesomeness, amirite?

the safdie brothers first-look deal hbo

The Safdie Brothers fucking rock. So, I’m jazzed and jizzing over their first-look deal with HBO.

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Average ass Scott Derrickson directing ‘Labyrinth’ sequel so I’m glad I don’t care deeply about that movie

scott derrickson labyrinth sequel

After watching a good portion of his filmography, I’m fairly certain that Scott Derrickson is functional at best. So if I was a fan of the original, I really wouldn’t be stoked that he’s directing a Labyrinth sequel.

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‘Tenet’ Trailer: It’ll open the right doors…some of the wrong ones too. In theaters July 17, still! Apparently!

Here’s the new trailer for Nolan’s audacious, mind-bending movie, Tenet. And, I’m going to level with you! I’m not watching the trailer. I already want to see this shit, badly. That said? I’m impressed Warner Brothers is doubling down on its release date, July 17.

Check it out for yourself, if you’re inclined!

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New ‘Tenet’ trailer is going to debut in ‘Fortnite’ because God is both dead and hates us.

tenet trailer fortnite

New Tenet trailer coming, baby! But, uh. It’s debuting in Fortnite. What the absolute fuck.

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Snyder Cut of ‘Justice League’ is coming to HBO Max in 2021. A new plague shall sweep the pop culture world next year!

zack snyder justice league cut

Zack Snyder sucks. He sucks. And anyone who has read a DC comic book or seen more than four movies should know this. But, the news that the Snyder Cut of Justice League is coming will make more than a few delirious stans happy.

But, I actually love that Zack Snyder knows so many of us rightfully hate his color palette, and so he announces his cut with a black and white image. It’s the ultimate troll, however the dude can kiss my ass.

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