#September2015
New York Times: New Apple TV to focus on gaming
I’ve been thinking about an Apple TV lately. Not for any good reason. Because I’m a technology glutton, and playing with new gadgets is fun for me. But even though I’m both a) a gamer and b) thinking about an Apple TV, I have to confess that the fact that Apple is focusing on gaming with its newest iteration doesn’t make it any sexier to me. How about you?
Report: Apple is already looking to test its self-driving car
Apple wants to infect you, friends. Your brain. Your palms. And now your car. When the GoogleSkyAppleNetApocalypse kicks off, you’re going to have your choice of which sentient car will drive you to the prison camps. That’s what it’s looking like after this report. The Google Car? Or the Apple Car? Either way — it’s the dirt mines for you, with the rest of humanity.
Apple wants live and local programming for its TV service
Looks like Apple TV has the potential to be more than expected. The company is apparently interested in more than just cutting deals with cable and premium channels, and is looking to get into the local programming game. For uh, those seven people who still watch the nightly news.
HBO dropping standalone “HBO Now” this April on Apple devices and PC
HBO is finally bringing a standalone HBO entity into the world! Provided, you know, you’re not mooching off of someone else’s HBO Go. Which is kinda like standalone because you’re not paying for shit. Just reaping all sorts of content. Muwahaha! (Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!) The only rub? Shit is exclusive to Apple devices and PC.
Report: Apple working on self-driving car
…because of course. Nice to see Apple joining Google in the race to awaken our Corporobotic Overlords.
Amazon: Hey RadioShack, we want to buy you
Big-ups to Amazon. They’re reverse-engineering the IntangiFuture. Everyone is sloughing their corporeal forms and Amazon is worrying about “Brick and Mortar” and “Places to GO.” To go! Holy fuck, Amazon. I love you because despite being a blight and a curse on small stores everywhere, you allow me to buy trade paperbacks of Saga at villainously low-prices, at 2 a.m. Drunk. And covered in fluids.
Report: APPLE SET-TOP BOX may get PREFERRED BANDWIDTH from Comcast.
Ah! I knew it, knew! when the cable companies winked SO HARD after telling us they’d respect net neutrality that they were tipping their hand. Fuckers. First news of Verizon and Comcast throttling Netflix speeds. Now comes this report that The Big Apple and The All Seeing Media Eye (that bastard Comcast/Time Warner Leviathan) are in talks to deliver privileged data treatment over the “last mile” of exchange.
Apple buys company that MADE ORIGINAL KINECT. All Minority Report Everything.
The company that made the 1984 advertisement back in the day is doubling down on creepy future-tech. That’s right, Apple has bought the folks who made Microsoft’s original Kinect. And now there ain’t nothing holding back the Steve Jobs-nanobody robopocalypse.
