#July2015

‘Steve Jobs: The Man in the Machine’ Trailer: Creativity Is About Anarchy

Apple wants live and local programming for its TV service

Apple TV!

Looks like Apple TV has the potential to be more than expected. The company is apparently interested in more than just cutting deals with cable and premium channels, and is looking to get into the local programming game. For uh, those seven people who still watch the nightly news.

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HBO dropping standalone “HBO Now” this April on Apple devices and PC

HBO NOW~

HBO is finally bringing a standalone HBO entity into the world! Provided, you know, you’re not mooching off of someone else’s HBO Go. Which is kinda like standalone because you’re not paying for shit. Just reaping all sorts of content. Muwahaha! (Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!) The only rub? Shit is exclusive to Apple devices and PC.

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Report: Apple working on self-driving car

tim COKZ

…because of course. Nice to see Apple joining Google in the race to awaken our Corporobotic Overlords.

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Amazon: Hey RadioShack, we want to buy you

Amazon introduces currencies up in the house.

Big-ups to Amazon. They’re reverse-engineering the IntangiFuture. Everyone is sloughing their corporeal forms and Amazon is worrying about “Brick and Mortar” and “Places to GO.” To go! Holy fuck, Amazon. I love you because despite being a blight and a curse on small stores everywhere, you allow me to buy trade paperbacks of Saga at villainously low-prices, at 2 a.m. Drunk. And covered in fluids.

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Report: APPLE SET-TOP BOX may get PREFERRED BANDWIDTH from Comcast.

SAD KEANU.

Ah! I knew it, knew! when the cable companies winked SO HARD after telling us they’d respect net neutrality that they were tipping their hand. Fuckers. First news of Verizon and Comcast throttling Netflix speeds. Now comes this report that The Big Apple and The All Seeing Media Eye (that bastard Comcast/Time Warner Leviathan) are in talks to deliver privileged data treatment over the “last mile” of exchange.

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Apple buys company that MADE ORIGINAL KINECT. All Minority Report Everything.

HAL 9000. BRUH.

The company that made the 1984 advertisement back in the day is doubling down on creepy future-tech. That’s right, Apple has bought the folks who made Microsoft’s original Kinect. And now there ain’t nothing holding back the Steve Jobs-nanobody robopocalypse.

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APPLE patents tech that would let the government DISABLE iPhone camera, video, wireless.

Obey! Big Brother!

Well isn’t this neat! Ain’t nothing like being in the middle of a protest, or you know, a Nickleback concert when all of a sudden The Man shuts down your ability to document something very gnarly. Like all ill-nasty Chad Kroeger solo. Right? I mean, that’s all we have to worry about.

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Apple wasn’t to blame for blocking ‘SAGA’, but they still pretty much suck.

Saga.

As the world fucking turns! Apparently it wasn’t those Techno-Fascists at Apple who banned Saga #12 from the digital comic shelves. No sir, no ma’am. Turns out that ComiXology never even submitted it to them for approval. The company claims that it didn’t have to do with any particular sexual orientation, but can we just throw the flag on that bullshit? What then – what magical thing in the twelfth issue – prompted them to forego submitting it? ‘Cause they’ve submitted issues of Saga with raging rotting testicles, gratuitous hetero-fucking, and ultra-violence.

I ain’t buying it.

And Apple? Fuck them anyways.

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Apple bans ‘SAGA’ #12 from comiXology because of gay sex, Brian K. Vaughan is all “we ain’t compromising anything.”

Saga #12.

There is a storm coming, Annie! Grab Jar Jar Binks, and get your ass inside. Apple has banned the sale of Saga #12 from the comiXology app in their store, igniting an understandable uproar. Despite other issues having rather gratuitous rotting testicles and the such, this is the first issue of Saga to receive the ban. Most people are explaining the discrepancy by pointing out the fact that this issue of Saga depicts *gasp* gay sex. Oh boy.

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