#May2012
Apple Pledges To Power Data Center ENTIRELY With Renewable Energy; Futuro Swag.
I can only imagine the amount of power it dates to keep something like Apple’s date center in Maiden, North Carolina. What I imagine are a lot of hamsters, tethered to fuel-tanks by skull-conduits, generating kinect-telepathic energy to feed the Hive Mind. That’s like, a lot of power. The truth isn’t nearly as exciting, though it is sort of neat.
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GABE NEWELL: Valve & Apple Meeting DIDN’T HAPPEN. Wink. Wink.
Gabe Newell wants to squish all those Valve and Apple meeting in the darkness of daylight rumors. He wants to press his titanic ass cheeks right up against those rumors and vaporize them with the death air that has been trapped in his buttocks for nearly a decade.
Rumor: APPLE Working On Games Console; VALVE Involved
We have reached the crossroads of Valve and Apple gaming console rumors. At this intersection, the two separate entities slam together, fusing into the monolithic Apple-Valve-Fucking-Console. A console made for fucking your entertainment center and forcing you to buy a larger one. You know, should it prove true.
Another Foxconn Employee Gives iPhone Release Deets; Disagrees With Previous One
There are conflicting reports coming from multiple employees at Apple fetishists’ favorite concentration camp regarding the iPhone 5. Depending on which overworked and broken soul you ask, you’ll get a different answer.
New iPad Sales Top 3 MILLION Over Weekend. Retinal (Display) Popping.
Apple continues to have an absolute right to just keep printing money at their own leisure. At this point I think their marketing campaigns for new products could consist of “Fuck you, buy this” and “We’re fucking Apple”, and it wouldn’t slow them down in the eyes of their legions (of which I am a more resistant follower).
Apple Reveals ‘NEW IPAD’, OH MY GOD IT’S THE NEXT JESUS.
Apple doesn’t reveal products so much as they drop bunker busting oblitera-bombs on my generation. At this point you’ve already heard and read and reveled and despised all the details regarding Apple’s iPad 3, or as they’re calling it the “New iPad” which I suppose it technically is and shit. But let’s pretend you haven’t.
Hit the jump for the deets.
WSJ: Apple Testing An 8-Inch iPad. See, Size Isn’t Everything.
Rendar has a co-worker who also works at one of those mall-based Apple Cults who recently told him who told me who is now telling you that he thought Apple may be working on a smaller-sized iPad. This probably isn’t news to anyone who is more in-tune with the Webz than me, but it whatever! Rendar’s friend may be correct.
Google Plans To Snatch 2.25 Percent Of Every iPhone Sale. Patents ++
Thanks to some serious patent acquisitions from buying Motorola, Google now intends to gobble up 2.25 percent of ever iPhone sold in Europe. Yeah, like this is going anywhere but court. Get your fucking popcorn ready.
Apple Makes New Employees Work On Fake Products Until They Trust Them. Orwell Grin.
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Motherfuckers at Apple don’t fool around. How serious are they!, Caff?! Well, they are so serious they’ll put new employees on fake projects just to gauge if they’re trustworthy. That serious!
Video: Father of the iPod Creates Tech Fetish Thermostat. Yes, Thermostat.
Leave it to Tony Fadell who is considered to be the “father of the iPod” to create a sexy thermostat that can be looked at as yet another technological fetish object. It’s sexy, it’s smart. It remembers when you wake up, and what temperatures you like.
Hit the jump to check it out.
