#May2020

Monday Morning Commute: Prayers Up!

monday morning commute prayers up

I’m on vacation, but fuck I’m awful at enjoying it. Nothing says “I’m fucking crushing this relaxing thing” like waking up at 9:30 this morning, veins white-hot with irrational anxiety. But! I’m happy to say I have rallied since then. Took a two-mile walk, exercised a bit. Sucked in the rays from the Central Engine, and felt my rectum loosen just a bit. Justa-bit. However, that’s better than nothing, right? And folks, good news.

I’m asking you to help loosen my rectum even further. That’s right, that’s right! Pull up a chair, and shoot the shit with me. Tell me what you’re looking forward to this week, and watch in glee-and-horror as the ole o-ring relaxes to a healthy sort of dour droop. I don’t ask for much, but I’m asking for this. Let us imbibe in the sweetened, honeyed nectar of community, together. And share in the experience of watching as he gets me where I need to be.

Please?

This is Monday Morning Commute.

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Weekend Open Bar: Take a breath, my dudes!

weekend open bar take a breath my dudes (1)

My, oh fucking my!

It’s the end of the week, friends! It’s the end of the semester, friends! And, it’s a long weekend friends! Praise JCVD, my friends! The All-Father has delivered me to the end of the weird, wild, awful online semester, and I’m stoked.

As well, I found out that due to budgetary problems — if you don’t know this yet, COVID-19 has lit higher education on fire — I can’t begin summer tutoring until June 1. So, not only is it a long weekend, but I’m fucking off until June 3.

My, oh fucking my!

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Weekend Open Bar: Baby, can you dig your man?

weekend open bar baby can you dig your man

Okay! Last night, I started The Stand. And I must confess, I put in my longest single-sitting reading session in a long, long time. Of course, that’s not counting school-related bullshit. I’m currently 63 pages in, which translates to only 1/20th of the fucking tome.

That said? I’m fucking enjoying it.

As I’ve intimated here before, I’m always down for a good-plague based Apocalypse.

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Monday Morning Commute: Bring back them CRT Days!

Hard not to feel nostalgic, when the Planet is shuddered, and there’s nowhere to go, right? Also, hard not to feel nostalgic when I’m currently dong-deep in Final Fantasy 7 and classic horror movies, right? Anyways, I’m feel nostalgic as fuck, and old to boot. Nothing gets you thinking of the past like salivating over the remake of your favorite game of all time, and feeling the gravel in your elbows shift every time you try to do a tricep press.

Anyhoo, enough about my lachrymal, romanticized peering into my past! I’m stoked to spend the present with you folks, right here! In the latest edition of Monday Morning Commute! You know, the weekly gathering where we, uh, gather, and share what we’re up to!

I’ll go first, but lord, oh lord, I hope you’ll join me in the comments section!

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‘The Stand’ TV series casts Alexander Skarsgard as Randall Flagg. I don’t know enough to judge this!

the stand alexander skarsgard randall flagg

I like Alexander Skarsgard. I suspect I’d really enjoy The Stand. That fucking said? I have no idea if casting him as Randall Flagg is a good call. Someone else weigh-in!

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‘The Stand’ director says it will be four movie mega event.

the stand

Generally I troll Stephen King because Bateman and Rendar have both admitted to me under chemical duress that they’ve masturbated into copies of The Dark Tower. But I’m going to be the straight-man here. And far be it for me to critique what people jerk-off into. The Stand seems cool, but I haven’t read it. So I don’t know how to react to this news.

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Matthew McConaughey wanted for ‘The Stand’ adaptation

Rust Cohle

Matthew McCottonCandy is wanted for a long-ass film adaptation of the The Stand, playing the bad guy. I don’t know anything about the movie, other than People Seem To Like It, and I Should Probably Read It. So I don’t really know what to make of this casting news.

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Ben Affleck To Direct ‘The Stand’ By Stephen King? Pissah!

I don’t have a very strong attachment to Stephen King, and I’ve never read The Stand. However I’ve been told I would like it, and I also  enjoy myself some Ben Affleck. So I like this news.

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