‘Fast & Furious 9’ adds John Cena to its cast. May this franchise never, ever end.

fast and furious john cena

I legitimately love the bro-eroticism, fantastic action, and oily body of the Furious franchise so, so much. And while I’ve been particularly focused on mashing my knob to the Rock’s spin-off movie, this F9 news also rules.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Suicide Squad 2’ has cast John Cena. I can’t see this not working out! Get it?

john cena suicide squad 2

The squad for Suicide Squad 2 continues to impress. I mean, John fucking Cena? Sign me up. Dude proved in Bumblebee he can play a very convincing blowhard (I mean this positively) with a square jaw, and the ability to crack jokes.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rob Liefeld shared an image of John Cena as his famous Captain America and its fucking blessed

rob liefeld john cena cap america

Everyone knows Rob Liefeld’s classic Captain America image. Even if they don’t know Rob Liefeld, they know. That’s because it’s fucking amazing. Now, Liefeld has shared an image of John Cena in that classic image, responding to rumors that Cena may play Rogers. Granted, the rumor is baseless, but the image is classic.

Read the rest of this entry »

John Cena wants a ‘Fast and Furious’ movie with Dwayne Johnson and nothing could be more perfect

john cena dwayne johnson fast and furious

There is only one downside that would come from John Cena teaming up with The Rock for a Fast and Furious movie. It would be the potential tears in the space-time continuum, as reality itself is threatened by the combination of so much awesomeness.

Read the rest of this entry »

John Cena is frontrunner for ‘Shazam’ lead. Let’s not play around, get this done

john cena shazam billy batson lead

John Cena is the frontrunner to play the lead in DC’s Shazam movie. There’s some other jabroni also in contention, but let’s just focus on the positive here. Cena is literally an overgrown, pumped-up man child. This casting is so fucking obvious. Additionally, let’s not fucking forget if Cena is cast, dude will be feuding with The Rock’s fucking Black Adam.

Please. Make this happen.

Read the rest of this entry »

John Cena joins cast of ‘Transformers’ spin-off movie, the franchise finally doing something awesome

john cena cast transformers spin-off bumblebee

John Cena has joined the cast of the Transformers spin-off movie, you know the totally necessary deep dive into the ethos of Bumblebee. I’m just fucking around, I’m actually excited about this movie’s prospects. Good director. 1980s setting. Cena. I’m tentatively stoked.

Read the rest of this entry »

Mark Millar wants John Cena for Superior movie

john cena superior

Mark Millar knows exactly who he wants to play the lead in the movie adaptation of his comic book, Superior. It’s none other than John fucking Cena. I fuck with this. So hard.

Read the rest of this entry »

Gold Medalist hits her coach with John Cena’s Finisher to celebrate her victory

A video posted by WorldstarHipHop (@worldstar) on

Yo. If there were more AA’s being doled out at the Olympics, I would totally step up my viewing of the garrulous display of nationalism, excess, and athletics.

Read the rest of this entry »

Art: DC’s Shazam as portrayed by JOHNNN CENAAA!!!

Watch: John Cena goes Super Saiyan