Monday Morning Commute: AUTUMNAL SPACESHIP GROOVING.
Woo! Look at Killer Mike fucking have at it! From a super-froggy-fresh live performance of “Run the Jewels.” Killer Mike? That’s how I’m feeling on this final day of the long weekend. Nothing like sleeping in late three days in a row to revive the synapses, restore the soul, and pack on an easy five pounds or so. This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where I share the esoteric entities (not really) in my existence that are helping me get through a given week. I spread them all around the ground, pointing at them while shouting “Fuck!, Fuck!, Fuck!, Delicious!” This serves to let you know I love them. After that, you share your dilly dallyings in the comments.
Let’s groove, folks.
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IT RAINS DIAMONDS ON SATURN AND JUPITER. Wut. It’s Chemistry, bitch!
Fuck blood diamonds. I’m finna be grabbing myself some fucking cosmic diamonds. Now apparently this is old news or some shit, but I had no goddamn idea. Time to fire up the rocketship kickstarter and explain how I’m going to make you your money back.
MIRACLEMAN returning in 2014. GAIMAN FINALLY FINISHING HIS RUN.
Well, shoot. I had completely forgotten that Marvel bought Miracleman. Can’t blame myself, since pretty much nothing has happened since they made purchase. However, that shit ends up! Or…in a couple of months.The Company That Loves The Word NOW! is going to begin reprinting the classic tales starting in 2014. After they finish the long-awaited game of catch-up, things get a bit crazier. Neil Gaiman is going to finally get to conclude his arc which has been sitting around for a hot minute.
‘STAR WARS REBELS’ VILLAIN REVEALED: The Inquisitor. WHERE IS VADER?!
So the first new character in the Star Wars Universe since the Disney buy has been revealed. He is also the homie that is going to be tormenting the heroes of Star Wars Rebels. First thought? Where the fuck is Vader? But then I was like — I suppose they need to give the heroes someone they can defeat. Since like, Vader hangs on for twenty years before getting rocked by Old Saggy Face and his hick son.
‘BLACK WIDOW’ MONTHLY COMIC dropping courtesy of EDMONDSON AND PHIL F**KING NOTO
Fuck to the yiggity yes. Lame intro? Fuck you! I rule this roost with mediocrity and stupidity! Anyways. There is a Black Widow monthly coming, and the team behind it is stacked with wunder-prowess. Nathan Edmondson? Check. Phil fucking Noto? Check. Underlined. Starred.
Hit the jump for a look at the first cover and more details.
‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’ WORKING TITLES REVEALED. WOW OR SOMETHING.
I don’t really give a fuck about the titles for any Star Wars movie. If I’m being frank, the only one that really is entrenched in my heart is Empire Strikes Back. So while these two working titles don’t do anything for me (and they may not stick), I don’t really put much stock in their importance.
‘BATTLING BOY’ character AURORA WEST getting her OWN PREQUEL
I haven’t read Battling Boy yet. It’s just sitting on my counter. Daring me to love it. Hopefully this long weekend. Even so, I can’t help but be excited about a prequel starring one of its characters.
Hit the jump for more info and a full promo.
Cosplay: RED SON WONDER WOMAN gets my HAMMER AND SICKLE GOING…I hate myself.
Here’s some jazzy cosplay for you to take across the chest on a Friday. Some Red Son-edition Wonder Woman. Just balling out of control for the Motherland. Joey Stalin and all that shit.
ASTRONOMERS find ROGUE PLANET with NO SUN. Intergalactic Jack Bauer ++
Sweet Nipple Squirts, the planet has gone rogue! Apparently watched too many episodes of 24. Decided to take affairs into its own hands. Astronomical Wizards have identified a Rogue Planet with no sun. You know, just floating through the fucking cosmos and shit.
‘FINAL FANTASY VI’ coming to iOS, Android. ALSO GETTING SUPER WIMPY NERFED.
FFVI may be dropping on mobile platforms, but it isn’t going to be my fucking FFVI. Naw. Not at all. They’re casualizing (fuck you — it’s my own word) the entire fucking enterprise. Reducing grinding. Fucking assholes eliminating remnants of the good old days when you had to fucking earn your Ribbons. Kiss my ass, everyone involved.
