#Movies

‘Deadpool 2’ Final Trailer: X-Force Gonna Give It To You!

Gonna level with you, motherfuckers. I didn’t watch this final trailer for Deadpool 2. I ain’t afraid of not liking it. No. Rather, I am afraid of having too much of that delicious David Leitch-powered action spoiled for me. However, I did buy my tickets today!

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‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ Final Trailer: A Very Dumb Movie That Will Make Very Much Money

Here’s the final trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. A patently stupid movie, that I will end up seeing because I’m trash.

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Steven Spielberg is directing ‘Blackhawk’ for DC and this would have been exciting 15 years ago

steven spielberg blackhawk dc comics

My brother calls Steve Spielberg a “creative coward” these days. I won’t go that far, but I have been generally bored with him for the past decade. So, this news doesn’t move the needle for me. I mean, he ain’t Jaws Spielberg anymore. He’s CGI diarrhea Ready Player One Spielberg. Who knows, maybe he stuns the hair off the my tits with this effort. One can hope.

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‘Agents of Shield’ actor Gabriel Luna cast as the new Terminator in upcoming flick

agents of shield gabriel luna new terminator

I don’t know one single solitary fucking drop about Gabriel Luna. So I’m going to, for once, just admit I have no goddamn opinion on this casting. That said, I really hope this movie rules.

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James McAvoy and Bill Hader in talks for ‘It: Chapter 2’ for whatever that’s worth

james mcavoy bill hader it chapter 2

Jimmy McAvoy and Billy Hader are in talks to joint the sequel to the exceedingly and mediocre It. I dig both actors, will probably end up seeing this movie, and yet still can’t get excited. That’s just me, though! I hope this news gives your genitals a nice glossy finish.

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‘Incredibles 2’ Trailer: It’s Time To Make Some Wrong Things Right!

Oh fuck. I thought that I was apathetic towards a second Incredibles, but here I fucking am. The advertising push has sucked me right in!

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‘Deadpool 2’ director officially helming The Rock’s ‘Fast and Furious’ spin-off. I’m fully torqued

david leitch fast furious spinoff the rock

David Leitch is officially directing the Fast and Furious spin-off starring The Rock and Jason Statham. While it’s true he wasn’t who I hoped for (rumors had Shane Black in contention), it’s a fantastic consolation prize. Dude has more than proven his action chops across John Wick, Atomic Blonde, and the upcoming Deadpool 2.

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‘Atomic Blonde’ sequel in the works, Charlize Theron confirms. Praise the ultra-violent, ultra-violet gods

atomic blonde sequel

Man, I dug the fuck out of Atomic Blonde. Furthermore, it appears that a good amount of you filthy omega-scrubs did as well, cause it’s getting a sequel.

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Rumor: Woody Harrelson playing Carnage in the upcoming ‘Venom’ movie. Stop getting me excited, please

woody harrelson carnage venom movie

I want to write off the Venom movie. Perhaps preemptively, I know. But, I mean. That trailer! Woof. However, I just can’t seem to fucking ditch a quiet, reluctant excitement for the movie. Now, this! Goddamn Woody Harrelson as Carnage? I’m sprung.

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Lame ass Colin Trevorrow returning to continue ruining franchise by writing and directing ‘Jurassic World 3’

colin trevorrow jurassic world 3 write direct

Colin Trevorrow is garbage. The Jurassic World franchise is garbage. This is a match made in feces-bath heaven.

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