Gonna level with you, motherfuckers. I didn’t watch this final trailer for Deadpool 2. I ain’t afraid of not liking it. No. Rather, I am afraid of having too much of that delicious David Leitch-powered action spoiled for me. However, I did buy my tickets today!
Here’s the final trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. A patently stupid movie, that I will end up seeing because I’m trash.
My brother calls Steve Spielberg a “creative coward” these days. I won’t go that far, but I have been generally bored with him for the past decade. So, this news doesn’t move the needle for me. I mean, he ain’t Jaws Spielberg anymore. He’s CGI diarrhea Ready Player One Spielberg. Who knows, maybe he stuns the hair off the my tits with this effort. One can hope.
I don’t know one single solitary fucking drop about Gabriel Luna. So I’m going to, for once, just admit I have no goddamn opinion on this casting. That said, I really hope this movie rules.
Jimmy McAvoy and Billy Hader are in talks to joint the sequel to the exceedingly and mediocre It. I dig both actors, will probably end up seeing this movie, and yet still can’t get excited. That’s just me, though! I hope this news gives your genitals a nice glossy finish.
Oh fuck. I thought that I was apathetic towards a second Incredibles, but here I fucking am. The advertising push has sucked me right in!
David Leitch is officially directing the Fast and Furious spin-off starring The Rock and Jason Statham. While it’s true he wasn’t who I hoped for (rumors had Shane Black in contention), it’s a fantastic consolation prize. Dude has more than proven his action chops across John Wick, Atomic Blonde, and the upcoming Deadpool 2.
‘Atomic Blonde’ sequel in the works, Charlize Theron confirms. Praise the ultra-violent, ultra-violet gods
Man, I dug the fuck out of Atomic Blonde. Furthermore, it appears that a good amount of you filthy omega-scrubs did as well, cause it’s getting a sequel.
Rumor: Woody Harrelson playing Carnage in the upcoming ‘Venom’ movie. Stop getting me excited, please
I want to write off the Venom movie. Perhaps preemptively, I know. But, I mean. That trailer! Woof. However, I just can’t seem to fucking ditch a quiet, reluctant excitement for the movie. Now, this! Goddamn Woody Harrelson as Carnage? I’m sprung.
Lame ass Colin Trevorrow returning to continue ruining franchise by writing and directing ‘Jurassic World 3’
Colin Trevorrow is garbage. The Jurassic World franchise is garbage. This is a match made in feces-bath heaven.