‘The Force Awakens’ trailer also dropping *online* this Friday

the force awakens

This Friday, Disney is cloaking the goddamn fucking Earth in Star Wars. Much like how The Force cloaks, binds, and nuzzles up against the Universe. Not only are they rolling out the Force Awakens trailer in a goddamn fuck ton of theaters, they’re also posting the piggie online.

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‘Tales from the Borderlands’ dropped today! No one f**king told me!

Tales

Were we supposed to know that Tales from the Borderlands was dropping today? Or did it sort of erupt out of the Dark Anus of News Not Yet Revealed, hitting me off the chest? Either way — fuck yeah I’m buying this when I get home.

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Gah: ‘Blade Runner 2′ shooting in 2015. Ridley Scott not directing.

Blade Runner.

Ridley Scott really hasn’t done much for me since 1999, and he certainly didn’t do anything for me with Prometheus. So while I’m stoked that he isn’t directing Blade Runner 2, I’m sort of bummed it exists at all. Though, who knows. Maybe fresh blood, fresh take, fresh batch of enjoyment? #KeepinThatPMA

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Oscar Isaac cast in ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ as the titular villain

Oscar Isaac

Oscar Isaac is going BIG TIME, BRO. Not only is he in the upcoming Wars of Stars Flick, but apparently he’s going to be kicking muties’ asses in the next X-Men installment.

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‘Jurassic World’ Official Trailer: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Jurassic World

This trailer. Dinosaurs? Dope. Fucking around stupidly with genetics? Dope. Chris Pratt’s lines? Eh. Goddamn, though. Looks like it’s going to be a hell of a butthole-clencher.

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Jonathan Hickman and Ryan Bodenheim reteam for ‘The Dying and the Dead’

The Dying and The Dead

More Johnny Hickman!? More Johnny Hickman that finds him reteaming with Ryan Bodenheim? You bet your bottom fucking dollar (what is a bottom dollar anyways?) that I’m putting this motherfucker down on my pull-list. Details and the full cover for the first issue after the jump.

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‘True Detective’ Season 2 News: Rachel McAdams and Taylor Kitsch officially join cast

them two

Jesus Christ. Get yourself together, True Detective. Sure I’m excited that Rachel McAdams and Taylor Kitsch are joining the cast. But wasn’t this rumored months ago? Don’t you have things you should be doing at this point rather than making cast announcements? Like filming?

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‘Bond 24′ Rumor: Christoph Waltz is playin’ classic villain Blofeld

Christoph Waltz

I’m about to show what an ignorant turd-huffer I am when it comes to Bond. There are rumors that Christoph Waltz is going to be playing Blofeld, who is a classic villain from the franchise. Anddd…I don’t know the dude.

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Monday Morning Commute: Bodyslam Ingratitude

HOGAN

It is Thanksgiving this week in the heart of the Empire. Say what you will about the manipulative mythos that has conjured such a holiday. Say it to the wind. Say it to people outside of the local Walmart. But know this. I think it is wonderful to celebrate a day where family, and gratitude are paramount, regardless of your ideological inclination. And so a wild anarchist like yours truly  can still find himself sitting down this Thursday to cop to the warm, fuzzy embrace of familial gluttony and momentary harmony. I’m goddamn glad to be here. And for everything I have.

So while it isn’t a typical work cycle, still I offer up Monday Morning Commute. The column where we share what we’re looking forward to during a given week. This iteration filled with 100% more mashed potatoes than usual.

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‘Breaking Bad’ director Michelle MacLaren developing and directing ‘Wonder Woman’

THERE WE GO

Well, shit! Here I was thinking that DC’s cinematic universe was cursed to be populated with intellectual effluent like Zack Snyder. But along comes Michelle MacLaren to direct Wonder Woman, giving me hope at least momentarily. Fuck yeah!

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