This is Weekend Open Bar.
I’ve got a cold this weekend, folks. This is how bad of a cold I’ve got, I’ll tell ya, I’ll tell ya. My cold is so fucking bad that I couldn’t even finish my chimichanga. How’s that for a fucking cold? My cold is so fucking bad that my farts are thick, hateful, nightmare blasts of Theraflu chemicals and phlegm-gut. How’s that for a fucking cold?
But the Theraflu does its job, oh yes. I knew the Theraflu was doing its job earlier tonight. I knew it while I was walking the Snowbeast and out of nowhere came the thought, “Man, I’m damn comfortable, I could just lay down.” Now mind you I may live on a rather comfortable, middle-class street. But at no time should a gangly man with a SpaceX hoodie be laying on the damp concrete sidewalk, a confused Great Pyrenees alternating between lapping at her owner and struggling to break free and run into the woods for a Vision Quest.
After I had that thought, after I processed that potential consequence, I thought to myself. Well golly, I’m straight fucked-up on Theraflu!
The creator of Rayman has unearthed a previously-thought-lost copy of the character’s canceled SNES debut. One for the archives, folks.
Pretty much everyone has guessed that Dafne Keen is playing X-23 in Logan. But! Now the Powers that Be have confirmed it.
Jesus Christ. The All-Seeing-Eye is open us. The consolidation of all culture. The homogenization of All Things. Another Leviathan has been born, mutated, grown even larger.
Woah. Tim Miller, the director of the original Deadpool, has left the sequel due to creative differences with Ryan Reynolds. Sort of a blow to the tits, given the two’s synergy in the original film.
Today, Zack Snyder dropped a new image of Wonder Woman in commemoration of the character’s 75th birthday.
What was once rumor is now objective fact! Donald Glover is going to be playing Lando in the upcoming Han Solo movie. I’m more than down with this casting, and the entire project in general. Star Wars fanboy? Check. Miller and Lord fanboy? Check. Donald Glover fanboy? Check! Clean sweep.
Joss Whedon has admitted that he wants to direct a Star Wars spin-off movie. You could, logically, just chalk this up to a director talking off the cuff about neat things he would consider doing. But I won’t! Because this is the *INTERNET* and *EVERYTHING* carries weight.