Weekend Open Bar: SMASH ENNUI

smash!

Hey, friends! How are you? You may have noticed I haven’t been rockin’ and rollin’ around here much lately. And I’ve been off! For two days straight! The fuck, Caff?! Let me level with you: I’m sort of fucking exhausted with the Internet. Clickbait, Buzzword, Non-News, Hype-Piece, Funny Video, Buzzword, Clickbait, Release Date. Blah, blah, blah. My interest comes. And my interest goes. Such is the life of a bi-polar. Right now it’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.

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New ‘Daredevil’ Photos: From Riches to Crime-Fighting Rags Or Something

Daredevil.

Here’s a couple of new pictures promoting Marvel’s upcoming Netflix series, Daredevil. That’s it. That’s all I got for you.

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‘Final Fantasy XV’ Town & Gameplay Trailer: Just Bros, Broing

Final Fantasy XV

More Final Fantasy XV gameplay. Just some bros, rolling around a city. Fighting baddies. Hanging tight. Staring at low-hanging, easy-peasy fan service boobies together.

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Oh: Telltale Games making ‘Minecraft: Story Mode.”

oh

So Telltale Games is working on a, uh, Minecraft story-driven game? I want to balk, but I shouldn’t. Folks made a dope LEGO movie. And this is Telltale Games. So, yeah.

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‘Parks and Recreation’ Final Season Trailer: NINJA ATTACK!!!

attack!

Oh my god. Just when I thought I couldn’t relate to Andy Dwyer anymore, the dude lands a fucking TV show in the last season of P&R. Titled Ninja Attack. I’m going to miss you, Spirit Fictional Character.

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Neal Stephenson joins augmented-reality company as “Chief Futurist.”

Neal Stephenson.

MAKE MINE SNOW CRASH, YA FUCKS! Neal Stephenson has joined an augmented-reality company as their fucking Chief Futurist. And it doesn’t lead to me hanging out in the Black Sun, it’s a colossal fucking disappointment.

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Marvel remastering original ‘Star Wars’ comic adaptation in oversized format

'Star Wars' remastered cover

Looks like Marvel is remastering the original Star Wars comic book adaptation. This news is deeply interesting (okay not deeply) to me as someone who has never read this motherfucker.  Oversized? Recolored? I’m there, there.

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Tuesday Afternoon Commute: That Rotten Tooth

thatrottentooth

It’s Monday Morning Commute! Er. It’s Tuesday Afternoon Commute! How you folks doing? Me? I’m on my first day of break. And honestly I feel like I should be enjoying it more than I am. As a man of routine, the obliteration of my Daily Planner leaves me confused. Lost. Should I be productive and write? Or consume 3,000 calories? Go to the gym? Or play nine hours of Grand Theft Auto 5? My penchant is a predilection for self-destruction. So here are the various things I’m relying on to keep me (somewhat) functioning this week.

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‘Final Fantasy 15′ English Trailer: Juxtaposition and Sheen

final fantasy 15

It’s the same old Final Fantasy 15 trailer I posted a couple of months ago, just this time with English voices. I’m still heated with game-lust. Still confused and intrigued by the odd juxtaposition of the Fantastical and the Modern.

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‘Knight of Cups’ Trailer: No One Cares About Reality Anymore

Knight of Cups

Oh dip! Terrence Malick rocking the dark, debauched tip with his typical cinematic beauty. Sign me up, good sir.

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