Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (7.32.14) ReConstructionist Theory


Wednesday’s get me pumped folks, how about you?  I love the idea of new stories waiting out there for me, or continuations of old, beloved ones.  Though my heart is in San Diego right now, bouncing through the unwashed, cosplaying masses at Comic-Con, I can bring it back with a simple trip to the local comic shop, where these stories await my searching eyes and careful fingers.  So step inside and let’s talk about what’s in store for us, which includes the reinstallation of reality, robot janitors, homeless teens, rad future-Avengers, Bat-birthdays, and a healthy dosage of Warren Ellis!

A full list of this week’s releases can be found HERE.

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‘Agents of SHIELD’ Season 2 debuting September 23

Agents of SHIELD

Did you give up on Agents of SHIELD last season? If so — I don’t blame you. However — it got pretty stinkin’ good right about the time of the Winter Soldier crossover. So I say goddamn!, I’m sweating the second season. A season which now has a debut date. And if you gave up on the show, I’m urging you. Give it a second chance. I promise it’s deec.

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Valve’s crazy Steambox controller is getting pretty vanilla

Steambox Controller

When Valve first revealed their controller for the Steam Hot Bot Your PC Games Console (and other sundry uses), it was a pretty fucking odd device. Such unconventional. Much out-of-box. But as time has progressed, the controller has become more and more homogenized into standard gaming fare. Case-in-point. The latest iteration of the fucker has gained a thumbstick.

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RDJ on ‘Iron Man 4′ is pretty much like, “If it doesn’t suck, I’m in”

Tony Stark

You know, I thought RDJ was pretty convincing last year when he made it seem like he was getting out of the Iron Man game after Avengers…3? But at the same time, my cynical thought was “If they kiss his ass and throw truck-fuck-loads of money at him, he’ll return.” It seems that my cynicism will win out.

(Or is it pragmatism?)

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Japan wants a Robo-Olympics in 2020. No, srsly.

Robot Olympics

Oh! Great fucking idea, Japan. Gather all the fucking robots in the world together in one place for an Olympics. They can start killing us together as one harmonious unit when they look at one another and realize they’re tired of their subjugation by the Clumsy Flesh Bags.

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Edgar Wright’s next film is probably ‘Baby Driver’

Edgar Wright.

Okay, okay, okay. Let’s all move on from whining about Edgar Wright’s departure. Let’s all say the Serenity Prayer, burn our pre-made Ant-Man t-shirts, and look towards the future. ‘Cause that is what Edgar Wright is seemingly doing. And it’s what he’d want from us. (On top of burning our Ant-Man t-shirts.)

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The highest quality copy of ‘Action Comics #1′ being sold on eBay

Action Comics #1.

Call in this debts. Sell those organs. Dance in the dumpster behind 7-Eleven while I flick quarters at you, yelling “eat the banana peel! eat it!” You’re going to need every last dollar if you want to buy this copy of Action Comics #1.

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‘Episode VII’ Rumors: This is Gwendoline Christie’s role?

Gwendoline Christie

Ya’ll smart enough to know the Space-Ship Omega, beclad in seminal fluids and Star Wars figures, wasn’t going to go a day without an Episode VII rumor. The latest one (which frankly I thought was already covered by The Big Sites?) pertains to Gwendoline Christie’s role.

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This will end well: DARPA wants to research “predatory” bacteria

DARPA or some shit

It’s a goddamn toss-up these days. A goddamn toss-up between what fucking manmade blight-contagion-robot-apocalypse-eco-disaster will wipe us out. ALL OF THEM — ALL OF THEM having been the centerpiece of a movie at one point. Don’t we heed the warnings Silver Screen?! No, we don’t. I mean Jesus Fucking Christ, DARPA. Predatory bacteria?

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Geoff Johns: DC’s TV and Movie Universes ain’t the same thing

frowny cakes

Geoff Johns has come out and confirmed what I kind of assumed to be obvious: DC’s movie and television universes are not one entity. Which really smacks of a good thing for those of you who enjoy The Green Arrow Guy and are anticipating Flashman. Keep that Snyder and Goyer cynicism far away from your beloved bitties.

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