‘Black Water’ Trailer: JCVD and Dolph Lundgren join forces for an ‘Under Siege’ rip-off. Cancel the fucking Oscars, folks
Oh me. Oh my. Anyone who follows OL closely (which, I’ll admit, is no one) knows that I’ve been fucking obsessed with JCVD, Steven Seagal, and 1980s-early 90s action movies in general. So, sweet titty fucking juices, JCVD and Dolph teaming-up for an Under Siege rip-off is all I want. MOTY 2018, mark it.
I’m very excited for this movie. To the point where I’m not going to watch this final trailer, because I’m already fucking sold and don’t need more shit spoiled.
‘Fortnite’ made nearly $300 million in April. Jesus fucking Christ, that’s a lot of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers
Last night, I was talking to a friend about Fortnite. I really enjoy watching it being streamed, despite not playing it. He thinks it’s okay, and doesn’t really get the insanity. Well, what I told him last night has been verified today. Brian, I said. We’re like one of seven people in this world not playing the game. Fucking everyone is playing the game.
HBO’s ‘Watchmen’ has a fucking glorious cast, featuring Regina King, Don Johnson, Tim Blake Nelson, and more
Man, the fucking cast for HBO’s Watchmen series has been revealed, and it’s fucking awesome, my dudes. Between Lindelof’s letter detailing his aspirations with the show, and this cast, I’m fucking torqued.
Fucking Comcast! Come on. Come on, dude. All of us MCU nerds were already stroking our pink giblets to the idea of a unified Marvel Cinematic Universe. Don’t do this do us. Don’t.
I love Luke Cage. I hated the second half of his first season. So, I’m optimistically agnostic about the show’s second installment.
The next fucking PlayStation is three years away? What the fuck! I know, I know I’m a tech whore. But, man. I want the maximum pixel-pushing power! My PlayStation 4 Pro is stru-gg-ling to push something like Far Cry 4 in pseudo-4K. Who knows, though. Maybe we’ll get a PlayStation 4 Pro+ before the big boy PS5 drops?
Bateman and I continue our argument from last weekend about the best way to pull one’s dick out of their underwear. Uh. As well, he mentions that he definitely stole his sister’s Barbie dolls for, uh, adolescent exploration. In chat, my wife chimes in that she did the same sort of exploration with hers. It’s a glorious fucking shit show. We also discuss Deadpool 2, the recent F451 adaptation, and more.
I’m like, really bad at relaxing. Really, really bad. So bad that despite the fact that I’m supposed to have this week off from work, I still went in yesterday. Better yet, I ended up tutoring, too! It’s just, just difficult for me to wind down from teaching a class (or four) and tutoring thirty hours a week, and segue into not burning out glorious upon the Fury Road. I mean, today, my wife had to talk me out of going to the gym before I go to spin class tonight. I’m trying! I’m trying my goddamn best. I mean, I gave up on two trips to the gym today! That’s gotta…that’s gotta be progress, I think?
But, I’m here now! Connecting with you, my fellow trash-blesssed folk aboard the Space-Ship Omega! Inviting you to join me here in Monday Morning Commute! I got, I got a serious fucking caffeine buzz going, and I’m about to enumerate the various bullshit I’m excited about this week. The happenings that are happening that will happen to help me to enjoy this week off from work.
Then! If the Eldritch Ones hear my prayer, you’ll share your own weekly musings in the comments section.
The Expanse, a show far too good for most viewers, and the fucking channel Syfy, was killed. Now, this glorious show is (probably) being given a new chance on Amazon. Here’s hoping it’s treated better its second time around.