Monday Morning Commute: This Is All A Rental

this is all a rental

This is all a rental.

From the computer you’re typing on to the meat-sack you’re inhabiting. All will be recycled, reused, converted into a variety of different forms. In my case, very much upcycled. Rejoice for as long as the collection of atoms, elements, and moments that is You can successfully stave off Entropy.

This is all a rental.

You’re slowing down. Dissolving. Inching closer to the Bin where your reconstitution shall take place.

But while we’re here, while This Matter still makes You, let’s have some fun. This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where You share what you’re intending to do during the week. So long as your dissolving, perpetually-ending, decaying meat-sack allows you.

This is all a rental.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Firewatch’ Reveal Trailer: Moody Woodland Mystery

Firewatch

I wrote about Firewatch a couple of months ago, particularly stoked with the talent behind it. The developer Campo Santo is comprised of Heads from Double Fine, Telltale, and 2K Marin. What a fucking group! Now the developer has dropped an official reveal trailer and…it seems fucking awesome. Hard as Shit to Explain, but fucking awesome. Totally gelling with my recent Lovecraft obsession, offering up a seemingly haunted, and uncomfortable woods to explore. And stuff.

Just watch the trailer.

Read the rest of this entry »

Cosplay: Rule 63 Star-Lord is outlawfully awesome

The Star-Lord, man!

What does “outlawfully awesome” mean? Yeah, I don’t know either. But I do know (FUCKING SEGUE) that I love this Rule 63 Star-Lord cosplay.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Episode VII’ News: Syrio Forel (Miltos Yerolemou) joins the f**king cast

NOT TODAY BRUH

If you watch Game of Thrones and you weren’t totally swooning over Syrio Forel — stop fucking lying. J.J. Abrams seems intent on stacking the cast for Episode VII with a bevy of my bitties. And the latest to join the cast is Miltos Yerolemou, who plays the aforementioned awesome swordsman.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Resident Evil’ Remake Trailer: Zombies Mauling You In Pristine Glory

The Master of Unlocking.

Goddamn. Maybe it’s the time passed, maybe my the rotting carcass, but I had forgotten a lot of the dope scenes this Resident Evil Remaster trailer reminded me of from my gaming past. And fuck!, that’s a huge sentence. So let’s just roll clip.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Winter Soldier’ directors the Russo Brothers helming ‘Community’ season premiere

Community!

You can, uh, take the Community directors out of the community, but you can’t take the community out of them? What the…what the fuck am I trying to say? Uh. In brief. The Russo Brothers, hot off Winter Soldier, are returning to their roots to direct the season premiere of Community. Which is gnarly.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Jump Street’ directors are rebooting ‘The Greatest American Hero’

The Greatest American Hero.

Most of the articles covering this story are going with “LEGO Movie directors” in their headline. But I ain’t! I’m talking about the fucking Jump Street directors. Which, uh, are the same people. Chris Miller and Phil Lord. The two talented fuckers are once again teaming up, and this time they’re tackling The Greatest American Hero.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Saints Row 4′ getting standalone expansion, ‘Gat Out Of Hell.’ Plus XB1+PS4 port

Saints Row IV.

Saints Row 4: Re-Elected is coming to XB1 and PS4. And like seemingly everything else for the new generation of consoles, it’s a fucking port of an existing game. Uh, in this case, Saints Row 4. If you’re like me and you’ve already played the living shit out of SR4, there is some other news that may excite you more. The aforementioned game is getting a standalone expansion called Gat Out of Hell.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Future! – Doctors have implanted a 3D-printed vertebra for first time

Three-Dee Vertebra

Man, I’m falling behind on the times. First, I didn’t know that water clouds were really fucking rare in the solar system, and now it appears that motherfuckers are straight-up changing out bones with 3D-printed replacements these days. And I had no idea! But, I’m totally hip to the vertebra scene, man. For instance. I totally know that it was just recently that a 3D-printed vertebra was implanted in a human for the first time.

Read the rest of this entry »

Joaquin Phoenix totally close to being named ‘Doctor Strange’

Joaquin Phoenix

It appears that Joaquin Phoenix is going to continue keeping it strange. Doctor Strange!, that is! (I HATE MYSELF AND MY WRITING.) Some time ago this summer (depending when/where you exist within the space-time continuum) it was announced that Phoenix was going to be nabbing the role of Marvel’s Mystic. Then! Silence. Murmurs. Now! Confirmation.

Read the rest of this entry »