… Salami? Time! Its time. Hello fellow travelers on the Starship Omega. This is your temporary captain, The Dude, speaking. If you look out the left cabin window you’ll see Glorbax 3, a lovely world where pizza grows on trees like the mighty orange and team building exercises carry a triple death sentence. On the right side you’ll see the vast nothingness of space that forces you to realize your insignificance in the face of cosmic events, and wish desperately for a quiet and swift end to your meaningless consciousness.
I’m up in Vermont for a wedding. My wife is one of two Matrons of Honor (a cowardly option for getting out of determining, in front of friends and family, your “favorite” person), so she’s off doing things. Like what? Oh, I don’t know. Helping the bride ascribe significance to a litany of generic prefabricated rituals that belong to one of the most industrialized and fabricated social customs in our culture.
But hey, that leaves me alone in our overly expensive, gaudy ass, nightmare hotel room at the inn.
To sit, crush Pepsi Max, diarrhea, get some work done. The diarrhea reminds me to drink Pepsi Max, the Pepsi Max reminds my bowels to diarrhea. Speaking of perfect unions, I think I’ve found one. An ouroboros of caffeineated-turd glory.
To refresh the typical blogs, jerk it once-twice-who-is-knocking-go-away-room-service-three times.
And! More importantly! Welcome you to Weekend Open Bar!
Thor: Ragnarok has added Sam Neill to its already stacked cast. You know, the dude who played Dr. Grant in Jurassic Park. Laid lovingly on dinosaurs. Removed his glasses dramatically.
Put the rest of Earth’s Alien hunters on notice, folks. China has turned on its alien-hunting telescope, and it is the world’s largest.
Bradford Young has been announced as the Han Solo movie cinematographer. This is a beefy, talented grab for the flick, which is already being helmed by the beefy (I just want to say beefy again) and talented Chris Lord and Phil Miller.
The Dark Tower multimedia blitz is apparently not a fever dream. No, no. The Dark Tower TV spin-off is really happening, and it is also really starring one of the stars of the movie, Idris Elba.
Hubble captures the death of a sun-like star, and we’re all the better for it. Thank you, Hubble. For capturing its glory. Me? I’m either going to die from a fall, or covered in my own feces and surrounded by Pepsi Max cans (regardless of age).
Motherfuckin’ Hubble doin’ work, son! Its deep field images have captured an entirely new type of galaxy.
A beautiful cathedral! A monument to Sport, and Competition, and American Distraction and Western Culture Frivolity! Had a great night at Fenway Park with the Mom, though. Sox players hitting wicked dingers, scoring multiple runs, vanquishing the Imperialist Fucks from New York (the worst city in the world). All this and more, in this week’s installment of Desktop Thursdays.
My world through imagery. Show me yours in the comments section.
Henry Cavill has revealed new Justice League promo art, featuring his band of dickheads getting real serious in their posing stylings. Not a particular complaint against these promo art stand-ups, though. If you’ve seen any stand-ups, you’ve seen that they’re all pretty fucking terrible.