Perhaps heretical to state this, but I do not give one single, solitary, morsel-esque fuck about The Incredibles 2. That said, maybe you do! And should you, here’s a trailer for it!
X-Files is one of those post-streaming world, zombie-shows that I have no internet in returning to. However, if this show is (still) your cup of tea, here’s a trailer for the eleventh season.
The latest descent into adolescent sophistry, scatalogical humor, and irredeemable buffoonery is upon you, folks. Gnash your teeth at The God That Forgot You and curse It for allowing us to continue our podcast.
This latest iteration covers a typical gamut of garbage.
Feauring such topics as “Eating only broccoli that women have farted on” and “Hipster Or Homeless? should be a game show.”
If that hasn’t sent you away, we also mock both Liberals and Trumpers, have half-hearted conversations about Doctor Strange and Arrival, and psychoanalyze Bateman’s childhood pants-shitting and subsequent life-long catastrophic psychological trauma.
We hope you’ll join us!
Man. I like Tom Cruise. I like the Mission: Impossible movies. But if this trailer is any indication I’m pretty bummed that The Mummy has now just become another cookie-cutter Tom Cruise/Mission: Impossible jam.
So, like. Apparently Scorsese has been working on Silence for a while. That’s, uh, cool? I’m going to level with you — this trailer does nothing for me, and I’m actively appalled at Andrew Garfield’s continuously terrible accents. But, hey, that may just be me.
I enjoyed Doctor Strange for what it was. But one thing that caught my ear was a rather familiar sound to the score. Oh, it turns out Michael Giacchino provided the score, a score which more/less sounded like Star Trek Beyond B-Sides. Well, he’s providing the score to Spider-Man: Homecoming. I’m fine with this!
It’s Tuesday, Tuesday Evening. I’m writing what was supposed to be Monday, Monday Morning Commute. The clock ticks towards quarter of 6pm, Eastern Seaboard of the Empire Standard. I have approximately 23 minutes to file this, to fart it, to fecal-blast this shinformation onto your digital face. Before! Before my next obligation. I’ve been wearing the same dress pants for ten hours, I’m tired, my caffeine levels are precariously low, and I have so much goddamn wood to chop before I sleep.
But I’m happy, happy to generate this minuscule bubble of textual diarrhea. This minuscule raft in the shitty seas of oblivion that seem to constitute this year, this 2016 A.D. Come friends, come quickly. Ignore my purple-headed boner, I merely have to pee. Come friends, come quickly. Ignore the wild look in eyes, I’m merely between my past caffeine fix and my next.
Come friends, come quickly. Join me on this raft, cling to it with me. Nay, cling to it for me.
This is Tuesday Evening Commute. This is what I’m looking forward to this week. Please, I implore, I beseech, I cajole. Please, join me in the comments section. Let me know what you’re indulging in this week.
Arrested Development is fixing to begin filming its fifth season in January, according to Jeffrey Tambor. The actor recently confirmed as much during an interview on the Today show on Tuesday.
Some actor I’ve never heard of has been cast as the main character in one of the most overrated books I’ve read in years.