Scientists have found that some storms are so strong they shake the ocean floor. STORMQUAKES, my dudes!


Some storms? Them motherfuckers are so powerful that they shake the ocean floor. And, they have an equally bad ass name. Stormquakes! Hell yeah.

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DARPA badly needs underground complex by Friday for undisclosed experiment! What could possibly fucking go wrong?

darpa underground complex experiment

DARPA like, badly needs an underground complex by Friday! For an experiment! They’ve put out a literal public appeal, and hey! Why not help out? Let’s hasten along the apocalypse with a fun experiment.

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Quantum teleportation has been used to send 3D information for the first time! Do I know what the fuck this means? Nope! Am I torqued? Yup!

quantum teleportation 3d information

I got it out of the way in the headline, but I’ll reiterate. I don’t really know what the fuck this means, other than: it’s progress, and it’s got the words quantum and teleportation. Is that enough to excite me? You bet your glistening tits.

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Japan is offering $1 billion research grant for human augmentation and cyborg technology. The middle finger to mortality, comrades!

japan human augmentation cyborg

Japan is offering some serious cheese for human augmentation and cyborg research. Pretty awesome, no? Also, pretty bold of them that there’s a future for the planet that’s worth existing on, no?

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World’s first AI Universe simulator learning things it shouldn’t be able to. Well, ain’t that grand!

world first ai universe simulator

If I’m being honest, I’m ready for our AI overloads. We’re cooking the planet and wasting one another. Let it put us into comfortable cages (we’re already there!) and maybe solve climate change. Or, you know. The origins of the universe.

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Milky Way Galaxy has holes in it from a “dense bullet” of something. Scientists got no idea, and I love it

milky way galaxy holes

Another day, another fucking mystery in the cosmos. The latest? Oh, you know. The Milky Way Galaxy has fucking holes in it from a dense bullet of something. Amazing.

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City-sized neutron star is blocking the view of our galaxy’s black hole. Bro, move!

city sized star black hole

Not cool, city-sized star. While I appreciate an ultra-dense neutron star the size of Manhattan, I’d also like us to be able to check out our own black hole.

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Scientists discover interstellar object flying through our solar system. Aliens taking a peek at our calamities, if you ask me

scientists interstellar object solar system

In a pretty bad ass moment for astronomy, scientists have discovered an interstellar object hurtling through our solar system. It’s the fuckin’ first, dude.

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Maybe: Two or more planets lurking in our solar system



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The Future! – Doctors have implanted a 3D-printed vertebra for first time

Three-Dee Vertebra

Man, I’m falling behind on the times. First, I didn’t know that water clouds were really fucking rare in the solar system, and now it appears that motherfuckers are straight-up changing out bones with 3D-printed replacements these days. And I had no idea! But, I’m totally hip to the vertebra scene, man. For instance. I totally know that it was just recently that a 3D-printed vertebra was implanted in a human for the first time.

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