New Brain Implant let blind woman “see” without eyes. The future is fucking wild

brain implant blind see without eyes

The future is here, motherfuckers. It just ain’t evenly distributed or fully appreciated. Case-in-fucking-point? A new brain implant has let a blind woman “see” for the first time in sixteen years. Just flat out fucking amazing. Will we really appreciate how fucking wild this is? Nah!

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NASA’s Parker Solar Probe Discovers Radio Signal Coming From Venus. This is how ‘The Expanse’ happens, folks!

scientists radio signal venus

Looks like we got ourselves a motherfucking protomolecule situation, friends. Okay, aiight. It’s definitely not that shit, but it’s still wild. You see, NASA’s Parker Solar Probe has discovered a radio signal coming from Venus. Like, holy fuck.

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Underwater Volcanoes Unleash Enough Energy to Power Entire United States. Nature Fucking Rules, Dudes!

underwater volcanoes generate enough energy to power entire us

A recent study a study published in Nature Communications comes with a pretty fucking gnarly finding. Underwater volcanoes are straight not fucking around. Them motherfuckers generate enough energy to power the entire United States. Goodness fucking gracious.

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Scientists have confirmed powerful antimatter particle crashed into Antarctica. This is how ‘The Thing’ starts, right?

scientists confirm powerful antimatter particle crashed antarctica

This is one of those awe-inspiring news stories that seems beyond my monkey brain. An antimatter particle slammed into Antarctica. Like, what the fuck? Don’t get me wrong, this is rad. It’s, uh, also how The Thing starts, or something. But rad none the less.

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Scientists have repaired injured spinal cord using patient’s own stem cells. Holy fucking future, friends!

scientists repaired injured spinal cord using patients own stem cells

How is this for a welcome blast in the ass from the Future? Scientists have repaired a patient’s spinal cord, using their own stem cells. The patients reported substantial improvements to key functions, just weeks after the cells were injected. Mamma mia, the fucking implications!

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Scientists find that saying “fuck” and other swears can decrease pain. THEN WHY AM I ETERNALLY TORMENTED?

scientists swearing reduce pain

So, get this fucking shit! Saying swears has been shown to “reduce your experience of pain, according to a new study by Keele University researchers.” Oh man! Gimme a fuck yeah! Seriously though, now I’m vindicated every time I stub my fucking toe!

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Scientists recreated the voice of a 3,000 year-old mummy. We just out here, fucking around, tempting fate.

scientists mummy voice

The future is fucking wild, my friends. I say it a lot. But, it is! I mean, recreating the voice of a goddamn 3,000 year-old mummy!

Hit the jump to check it out, and for more info!

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Scientists find evidence of second planet orbiting the star closest to the sun, Proxima Centauri. Wild, wild times.

scientists second planet closest star

Scientists have made a discovery, friends! They’re always up to that fucking shit. This particular discovery? That of a second exoplanet orbiting Proxima Centauri, the star closest to our own.

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Scientists have successfully bioprinted functional human “mini-livers” and the future is fucking wild!

scientists bioprinted human liver

Man, oh man. Ain’t the future bonkers? Scientists have successfully printed some motherfucking human mini-livers. And, they are capable of all performing all the functions of human livers. Such as? You know, “building proteins, storing vitamins and secreting bile” and shit. Amazing. Admittedly, there is still far, far to go from these organoids being actual livers. But, it’s a rad as fuck step.

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Engineer finds way to possibly pull diseases from blood using magnets. Just look at this fucking sentence!

engineer disease magnets

An engineer has found a potential way to pull diseases from blood using magnets. Listen, get out of my ass. I know this may never come to fruition. But, just the fact that it’s a possibility gets me horny for science.

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