Funny Books We Snagged This Week: Bruce Wayne Is Like All F**ked.

Here at OL, the regular lead regular lives. Sometimes that sheezy gets in the way of timely column posting, and for that I hope you forgive us. Tuesday is the typical day I churn this pig out. As is evident, I did not. After getting home from a  day on campus at 10:00 pm, I lived the life of a winner. Which is to say I ate a burrito, an entire bag of Sweethearts, and went to bed. A caloric nightmare.

Let’s party anyways. This is Funny Books We Snagged This Week, the column where we gather together and share our choice choices in the comic book world for a given week. Don’t know what is coming out (I suppose came out)? Visit ComicList.

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Variant Covers: Wolverine’s Vomiting Apple Pie On Grandpa

Gobble, gobble, gobble! How’s it going? We’re getting ready to celebrate LOL Sucker Indians Day! You know the one I talk about! We show thanks for everything by generally behaving like we really don’t appreciate anything. Packing in an inordinate amount of food, telling Uncle Steve he better pass that fucking drum stick, and then smashing Old Ladies in the nose for a good Black Friday deal.

Makes the human spirit sing!

Thankfully we have mofuckin’ comic books to hide within. Crack the spine, it shall provide an escape.

What are you reading this week?

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Variant Covers: Hulk Smash Puny Pencilers.

In the dismal dusk that accompanies every earlier falling light comes the opportunity to snuggle up with a comic book. Pull the blankets over yourself, dust the Chez-It crumbs off your chest and get your funnies on. As the Earth tilts slightly, ever so slightly, the temperature here on the Eastern seaboard dips. Not even climate change can prevent that. With the dip and the tilt comes the desire to over-analyze panels of Iron Man’s remarkably phallic repulsor rays rocketing off Thor’s  chiseled  chest. By myself. With you. Don’t matter.

Variant Covers. My pull-list for the week.

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Chris Claremont Donates His Archives To Columbia. X-Cellent Move. (LOL PUN.)

Chris Claremont more than likely penned your favorite issue of Uncanny X-Men. Unless your favorite issue is one from the Grant Morrison mind-boggling wunder-run. The good sir crafted most of the tales we’ve come to acknowledge as essential X-reading, and now he’s donating his archives to Columbia.

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Jim Lee’s ‘Darkeseid’ Is Revealed. NOT ENOUGH CHITIN ARMOR.

Unknown to me, Darkseid is going to be the main villain in the Johns/Lee Justice League  reboot. Would you like to see Lee’s design?

Hit the jump!

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Variant Covers: Joe Madureira And The Objectified Genitals.

Variant Covers. The comics on my mind this week.

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Marvel Hints At Future of ‘Wolverine and the X-Men’ With New Teaser.

Marvel’s released a tease for what we shall be seeing in Wolverine and the X-Men. Kitty Pryde, Frankenstein’s Monster, and a constipated-looking Cyclops.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Variant Covers: Wolverine’s Drunk And Beast Is Wearing A Red Wig

We’re shortly enclosing on the witching hour, the feast of October. The  ephemeral  time where the membrane between the expired and the wind-sucking melts before our eyes, unleashing torrents of evil and scares upon us. That ain’t the half of it either, dude. Motherfuckin’ candy up in the bitch and rotten teeth and syringes in the bags of your children. It’s dangerous out there! Stay inside. Read some funny books.

This is Variant Covers. The rags I’m stoked on this week. Share your pull-list after the spiel ends.

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Variant Covers: Thor and Odin Fight For The Hammer-Penis. The Conclusion!

While I’m writing this — assuredly not while you’re reading this — I’m sitting in a desolate café room on campus cranking out this column. Thinking of tomorrow, of comic books, of narrative-image fusion. Momentary escape. Fuck I love the funny books. I love sitting here, a momentary reprieve in a ten-hour day writing about them.

This is Variant Covers.

I’m Caffeine Powered.

These are the books I’m interested in this week.

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Human Torch and Venom Joining ‘Secret Avengers’. Oh Remender I <3 You.

There’s more news regarding the Remender/Hardman run on Secret Avengers. Not only that, but we got ourselves a tasty look at the line-up, as well. I’m getting excited for this comic, especially since Remender can bring the dark, brooding, and comedic touch to team awesomeness.

Hit the jump for the promo and some info.

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