Ridin’ SOLO: Reactions! [SPOILERS]


It happened — SOLO has been released.

It took the title-role casting of an actor that no one seems to trust and the support-role casting of an actor-comedian-musician-showrunner that’s beloved and the firing of the 21 Jump Street dudes and the hiring of the kid from Happy Days and a wading through a morass of antipathy that the fanbase hasn’t shown in over a decade, but it happened.

As a lifelong believer in the Force, I made my way to the first showing I could find. And now, I’m going to cannonball into a stream-of-conscious review/reaction of the tenth theatrically-released STAR WARS movie.

Of course, I’m much more interested in your reactions — so hit up the comments section and share your thoughts about the fourth post-prequel installment.


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‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ Trailer: Everything Seems Cool, Except Han Himself

The first full trailer for Solo: A Star Wars Story has dropped, and well. I actually enjoyed it! In fact, I actually enjoyed it despite the fact that Solo himself seems leadened and uncharismatic as fuck. Aesthetically, it’s gorgeous. Every actor except Solo and Mother of Wooden Dragons seem dope, and the trailer itself was bumping.

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‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ trailer is dropping this Monday. Man, I wish I felt something about this

solo a star wars story trailer feb 5 monday

Han Solo: A Banal Ron Howard Experience‘s first trailer is dropping this Monday, on Good Morning America. I really, really wish I gave a fuck about this movie, but, I don’t. At least not right now. That isn’t to say that I won’t like it, who the fuck knows. After months and months of shitting on both Deadpool and X-Men: Days of Future Past, I really ended up digging those movies. So! Again, who the fuck knows. But right now, my most common thought regarding Solo is genuine surprise at a Star Wars movie dropping in three months.

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Han Solo movie called ‘Solo: A Star Wars’ story, a title as unimaginative as Lucasfilm themselves

han solo movie solo a star wars story

Since the parting of its initial directors, I’ve regarded the Han Solo movie as an inoffensive fart done in a quiet room. At best, maybe an adequate, forgettable dish of vanilla ice cream. Well, said fart-ice cream has wrapped production finally, with a fart-ice cream title to match.

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Ron Howard directing ‘Han Solo’ movie, so here’s to bland ass boring movies

ron howard han solo movie directing

Ron Howard is officially taking over directing duties for the Han Solo movie. And, man. Talk about pivoting from two interesting filmmakers to the most middle-of-the-road, inoffensive, boring-ass choice. The first two post-Lucas Star Wars offerings have een a shameless remake of the original movie, and a heavily reshot movie that cleaved far away from its director’s vision. I’m fearful Lucasfilm is straight-up afraid or unwilling to offer anything remotely fresh in a galaxy far, far away.

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‘Han Solo’ movie eyeing Ron Howard to replace Phil Lord and Chris Miller

han solo movie ron howard

Sure, whatever, okay.

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‘Han Solo’ spin-off movie loses its directors and now everything is terrible

han solo movie loses directors

Citing creative differences, Lord and Miller have left the Han Solo movie. These two dudes were, quite frankly, the only reason I hate faith such a movie could be executed well. The two directors have made a career out of taking seemingly hackneyed and offensively dull premises and turning them into refreshingly subversive, and intelligent comedies. And now. Man.

I am…seriously fucking worried about this movie, and bummed.

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Maybe: ‘Han Solo’ movie crew shirts reveal the film’s official title

han solo movie title shirt

Take this for what it’s worth. The Han Solo movie crew got their own shirts. Said shirts may reveal the official title of the film, they may not. Welcome to the echo chamber SuckDrome that is the modern internet.

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‘Han Solo’ Movie Will Take Place Between Ages 18-24, Reveal How He “Got His Name”

han solo how he got his name

I feel like, you know. I don’t want to really post about this shit, because I don’t care? But then I think there’s probably a couple of people who frequent here who *do* care, you know? Eh, without further adieu.

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‘Han Solo’ Movie Adds ‘The Wire’ Star Michael K. Williams

han solo movie the wire michael k. williams

A couple of months ago I lazily, but somewhat earnestly threw out the prediction that the Han Solo movie would be the best post-Return of the Jedi movie in the Star Wars universe when it dropped. I’m beginning to think my lazy ass’d, haphazard prediction may be correct.

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