LOUIS CK Direct-Selling Tickets To His Next Tour. No Fees, Scalpers. All Win.
Louis CK is probably my inspirational dude of the year. He’s clawed his way to the top, while exerting his own artistic vision. Now he’s continuing the righteous he started back with his $5 download by direct-selling his tickets.
Fugg yeah.
Video: First Ever MRI Video Shows Childbirth From THE INSIDE OH JESUS.
Oh hey. Here’s an MRI video of a childbirth, capturing it from the inside. Yeah, no big deal. It just looks like an alien slithering machine of want-doom.
‘CATCHING FIRE’ Casting Rumors: Jena Malone (Blegh) And KEVIN NASH (Huzzah!) Up For Roles
We all know that I’m going to see Catching Fire, my obsession with J-Law demanding supplication. Outside of her buxom bossiness though, I haven’t really been stoked about the flick. Then they said the magic words.
Kevin Nash.
The Meming of Life: Carreon Sues
If you didn’t do the required reading, you may not have heard of this guy. Right now Charles Carreon is the most hated man on the internet. Now, I could give two shits about a ridiculous lawyer suing a site I find mildly humorous. But when his ridiculous actions solidify his position in the universe of meme, my journalistic instincts kick in, and I am forced to take notice. After all, I’m merely a vessel doing God’s work.
Monday Morning Commute: Tie Dye Projectile Vomit!
What’s up, fools? Would you know that Rendar Frankandbeans is straight up out of the country? Yeah, player. He’s on some magical mystery journey pretending he’s Ernest Hemingway or some shit. I have a nagging suspicion that he’s going to come back with the Great Grumpy White Guy Novel of the next century. Drop it on my desk and slap me across the face. It’s just brotherly love. With him meandering about, and the other of the OL Founding Fathers out of the country as well, I’m all alone.
I have no pants on. I’m eating laffy taffy by the bucketful. My children are quickly drying on my stomach. This is how life should be lived. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? I have someone greater to answer to, one who inspires more fear and reverence than the two of them. Mrs. Caffeine Powered. Every day she’s with me is a fucking gift, one that I respect by only occasionally ripping ass and drooling on myself.
This column right here is MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE. Within the confines of this most Monday of columns, us capitalist grind monkeys share the various artistic afflictions that give us lives meaning amid the grind. For within these arts we cajole ourselves into enjoying ourselves, despite the banality of the everyday.
Ed Brubaker Focusing On His Creator-Owned Books After ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA’ Run Ends.
The exodus continues! Eddie Brubaker is making it known that once his run on Captain America ends he’s going to focus on creator-owned jams. I couldn’t like this more.
Eight-Year-Old Geoff John’s ‘HE-MAN’ CHARACTER Debuts On comiXology; Oh Hey Neat
The big buzz this weekend in the funny book world is centered on a character that Geoff Johns created back when he was eight years-old. His name is Sir Laser Lot, and while I haven’t read the comic I’m pretty sure it’s better than the New 52 run of Justice League. Also, little known fact: when Geoff Johns was thirteen he created an Earth-17 character that was Hal Jordan and Barry Allen stuck in a permanent 69. The name of the character was “Every storyline I’ll ever write.”
Kepler Scientists Find Weird Solar System Unlike Anything We’ve Seen Before. Humility ++
Deep space examination continues to improve in its accuracy, and with that it brings continual humility to our speculative asses. How many times do we have to say “oh shit we found something unlike anything we’ve previously thought possible!” before we grab the reins on our humanity swag and drink some humility.
The ‘PARKS AND REC’ Cast As DC SUPERHEROES By Vicky Ryan Rules
Vicky Ryan has gone and done up the cast of Parks and Rec as DC superheroes. This move answers the seemingly impossible question, “What could make Ron Swanson bad ass?”, to which I would have previously said nothing.
