#Video Games
‘BIOSHOCK’ STUDIO Irrational Games is closing. The Rapture is upon us?
HA! HAHAHA! Get it? Using a BioShock reference to herald the demise of its creator? Yeah man. Next level douche-swagger up in hurr, up in hurr. Middle fingers in the air, not caring. Cause I’m secretly in mourning. But not really. I think this could be a good thing.
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‘BORDERLANDS 3’ isn’t being made right now. F**ks**ta**
C’mon, Gearbox Software! Fuck you, fuck your new IPs. You’re not working on Borderlands 3 right now? You need to. Don’t misunderstand me. I need you to. It keeps the glue in my blood-brain barrier from dissolving, which will let the omni-slugs into my rotting-piece.
‘EVOLVE’ Gameplay Video & Trailer: Do The Monster Mash
Fuck yes. The minds behind Left 4 Dead have dropped a panoply of videos today for their next game, Evolve. Okay not really a fucking panoply but kiss my ass, aiight? Within these post’s walls you will have a gameplay video, and a cinematic trailer. They’re both fucking gnarly. Left 4 Dead…evolved! HAHAHA. I hate myself and my puns.
Activision: ‘DESTINY’ is like totally going to be “BEST SELLING” original game ever
Activision! Bold words. Or are they? I’m no economist. No projector of market forces. However, it doesn’t seem too daring to predict that Destiny may end up as the best selling original game ever. That’s the crux of the argument. New game! Like, Halo 5 may outsell it, but it’s a sequel to an established franchise.
‘CALL OF DUTY’ switching to three-year, three-team dev cycle. I say good.
The bad news: it appears that we’re not getting Black Ops 3 this year. The good news: it is because Activision has switched the franchise’s different series over to three-year development cycles.
ABSURD: ‘RESIDENT EVIL’ composer is a fraud. Also may not be deaf as he claimed
Ridiculous news the last couple of days. For starters, the dude who “composed” the score for some prominent Capcom games turns out to have…not composed them. He was lauded at the time for crushing these soundtracks despite having gone deaf. Now the winds of truth have blown in, and it turns out the dude hired a ghostwriter for the scores. Oh, and he may not be deaf.
Amazon has bought a gaming studio. MOAR CONSOLES MOAR?!
It’s been rumored for a while that Amazon was hankerin’ to dip its toes into the console waters. And why wouldn’t it? Every prominent corporation these days seems to want to dominated moar markets always! Or perhaps in an ideal world all markets alwayz! So Amazon buying an gaming studio? Smacks of a logical progression for the CorpoGiant.
John Carmack left ID SOFTWARE because they were like “NOPE” to Oculus Rift development
John Carmack, the coding genius/nightmare behind Quake and Doom left id Software last year. While most thought it was because he wanted to roll much deeper with the Oculus Rift, there’s a bit more to the story. Specifically, he was all “let’s like partner the fuck up! with Oculus” and the parent company ZeniMax was like “naw, bruh.”
Game Informer’s March Cover = ‘METAL GEAR SOLID V.’
Solid Snake. Naw, that’s not it. Liquid Snake? Don’t think so. What the fuck is Big Boss-Snake called? Phallic Snake? Flaccid Snake? Calling a Metal Gear guru to help me out. While you’re attending to my stupidity, I’ll be basking in the MGS V artwork that is adorning March’s Game Informer.
Hit the jump to join me.
Troll pretends to be Ubisoft; CANCELS ‘WATCH DOGS’ trademark. Hardcore++
Oh man. This is some next level trolling ish right here. Some dude or dudette pretended to be Ubisoft, and at least temporarily/successfully filed to cancel their trademark for Watch Dogs. Shout out to this person before they’re assuredly ushered off to some communal CorporoGulag on the dark side of the Moon. Your penchant for destruction and anarchy is probably only going to be matched in size by your pain at the hand of robo-hounds and psychic ninjas.
