As long as Ben Affleck is fucking around with the script and saying he’s doing/maybe not doing The Batman, Aquaman is going to be my most anticipated DCU movie. So, I meet the news that the movie will be using the Fury Road stunt team with 100% heavy metal skull smashing excitement.

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Oh what a day, what a lovely day. The terrifying, inevitable transition from cultural entropy into the feigned doubling-down of effort and self-disciplined. Yes, yes, friends. Comrades. Frequenters of Space-Ship Omega. It’s the beginning of a new year, the cessation of the end-of-year celebrations. Darkness looms. Deadlines loom.

Hark, hark, may the Ennui strike you more as a honeyed blanket of anaesthetization. And not, oh dear god, and not as the sort of bowels-liquefying anxiety that plunges you through your corpus, through your bed, through your plane of existence and onto the bottom of the bottomless chasm of existential dread.

Oh, you need a lifeline? Oh, you need something to help with this transition back into the wild world of labor extraction? Well, buddy. Well, pal. Well, comrade. I got you. I got you.

See, this here jam is the Monday Morning Commute jam. And here at this here jam I list the various things I’m using to get myself through a work week. The TV I’m watching to close my third-eye, the music I’m using to block out the droning clarion call of Listlessness. The video games I’m employ for the total deinvigorating oculuar-auditory shutdown I just may need.

That uh, pal, that uh. Got a bit dark. But fuck it, fuck it with gumption and assertiveness.

We get can make it through this reentry together.

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Make mine Miles Morales! I mean, holy fuck. A Phil Lord and Chris Miller-produced Spider-Man was dope enough. But now it’s starring Morales? Yes please.

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The Super Mario Bros. movie is getting a limited edition Blu-Ray. Oh man. I was just talking about this movie with my dad a couple of weeks ago. It was horrible — but I was young and loved it. It was horrible — but he was convinced (probably rightfully) that the actress was a babe to placate fathers taking their kids to the movies. Now! We can relive this experience, together, but maybe the actress will placate me as well? Bonding, man, over breasts. As well-established a tradition as any.

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Peak Kojima: having an official mascot for his production house. Peakier Kojima: selling said mascot as a fucking $2,000 statue.

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It’s the Weekend Open Bar.

Here on the Space-Ship Omega.

Round and round and round the Sun we go. Harboring ill memories, favorable moments, abject disproofs of karma, and transformative moments of kindness. In the grand scheme of things, we, the Sun, these burps and blips don’t matter one lick. In the grand scheme of things, these random scatterings of electrical impulses, of poor choices, of wise decisions, of moments of passion and anger, they’re all we fucking got.

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Yeah, I don’t know. Headline doesn’t really fit. But, I mean, we’re just talking about a new fucking Wonder Woman photo. So let’s not get all bent out of fucking shape.

Full photo after the jump! ‘Cause, disgusting Empire watermark!

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I’m pretty whatever about Rogue One. But man, of course *that* Darth Vader scene made my fanboy geek-prostate explode. Now! Now it’s been remade in LEGO.

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Ryan Gosling and the La La Land dude are going to team-up once more! Their next effort? A Neil Armstrong biopic! Which makes sense, since Gosling always makes me launch! Uh, I want to engage his thrusters? Are these working? Fuck.

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Wait, what the shit? A Castlevania animated series is coming? And it’s coming courtesy of Adventure Time‘s executive producer? Sign me the *fuck* up!

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