J.J. Abrams got himself a fucking Herculean task with Episode IX. He needs to appease those Star Wars fans who hated Episode VIII. He needs to acknowledge the criticisms of his own Episode VII. One of the major stars of the movie passed away, sending the entire original script(s) into Hell. And not only that, but he has to wrap-up a saga in just one film following a movie that pretty much kicked over the entire fucking sandbox.
But! At least he has a script.
Wait, what? The dudes behind Game of Thrones are going to be writing and producing a completely new series of Star Wars films. I can dig this, dig this so hard.
Ewan McGregor is good as Obi-Wan. Yes, yes, I know. However, I’m just not going to get psyched about another regurgitating of current mythos until Lucasfilm begins bringing some new ideas into the fold. That said, I’m sure I’ll mark out for this movie. I stand for nothing, it is clear.
‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Circle Jerk: Your Hopes, Dreams, Fears, and Potential Cinematic Bowel Movements
Quickly, quickly now. The vapors are hitting me as I walk down this long hallway. I don’t have much time, much time until they reach me. You know them, the ones with the grease-slicked pincers. You know them, the ones with the hollow eyes and bloated bellies. Oh, they won’t let me talk once they find me.
And today, friends, I have to talk to you about something incredibly important. The Last Jedi.
Why, why must I talk? For, as the date nears, as the dawns burn into evenings burn into fallen pages off a calendar, the reality has begun to set-in.
What, what reality do I speak of?
Rian Johnson says he has “no limitations” when it comes to creating his new Star Wars trilogy. I know the cynics are going to throw the “Bullshit” flag, but I’m going to be stoked. I’m glad to see Lucasfilm finally letting dope creators create in their sandbox.
All of the Star Wars movies have been this intertwining collection of derivation for the past, you know, forty years. So if Episode IX is truly going to end the Skywalker Saga (even for a little fucking while), I am stoked. It’s a rewarding, rich-as-fuck universe. Let’s start mining some new veins within.
New TV spot for The Last Jedi! I haven’t watched it, ain’t gonna watch it, but if you’re inclined…watch it!
‘Star Wars’ Live-Action TV series confirmed, coming to Disney streaming service. God bless torrents, right?
Star Wars live-action TV series coming to Disney’s streaming service. And this, friends, is why the lord created torrenting.
Holy fuck, friends. Not only are the UberCzars at Lucasfilm happy with Rian Johnson, they’re apparently really happy. How do we know this? Well, they’ve given him the opportunity to develop his own new Star Wars trilogy. Like, outside the Skywalker Saga. His own thing. As someone who has bitched about Lucasfilm just regurgitating the Greatest Hits, I can’t help but be torqued by this news. Finally, something new coming down the pipe.
The Last Jedi is going to make a zillion dollars. No one is going to be convinced either way at this point. So, what does Disney do? Naturally, they drop a TV spot that gives away a rather poignant moment. Which is why I’m not watching it, no way, fuck nah.