‘Dark Souls: Remastered’ coming to PS4, XB1, PC, and Switch. Experience the original beatdown, again
The original Dark Souls is coming to this generation’s consoles, friends. And it’s bringing all of its cruelty, reward, and violence with a new coat of paint.
Man, Switch ain’t fucking around. According to the TabulatorWizards over at Nintendo, it’s the fastest selling console* ever in the United States. This news is pretty impressive on multiple fronts. First, the sales are impressive. Second, that they’ve bamboozled so many people into thinking a handheld with an HDMI port is a console is impressive.
Nintendo is aiming to sell 20 million more Switch units next year. With the way the motherfuckers are selling, especially with the ramped up production, I can’t help but think they’re going to pull it off.
The Nintendo Switch is selling like goddamn gangbusters, buoyed by two of the top reviewed games of the year. Like, it is really selling like gangbusters.
Man, fucking Soulcalibur. This announcement takes me the fuck back. However, if I’m being honest, I remember it most for how the cleavage got my adolescent groin sloppy. But, I also vaguely recall a fun fighting game.
Firewatch is an objectively awesome game. Campo Santo is an objectively awesome developer. So, I’m pretty excited for the follow up to the former by the latter. How is that for a fucking convoluted sequence of sentences? Eh!?
The PlayStation is a fucking titan at this point, folks. Sony has sold more than 70.6 million of this motherfuckers, and for good reason. The son of a bitch has an incredible library of exclusives, with a fuckton more on the way.
In 2018, motherfuckin’ Capcom is giving us plebs some more Mega Man. Finally! I say, goddamn! This is of course coming now that they’re done laughing at the dumpster fire that was Mighty No. 9, the franchise’s spiritual successor whatever.
Nintendo planning to heavily increase Switch hardware production in 2018. Apparently they like money more than scarcity
Nintendo got themselves some fucking plans in 2018 to ramp up Switch production. Not exactly a fucking controversial move, here. You know, given that the console dropped two of the best reviewed games since I sprouted pubes in the same fucking year.
‘Assassin’s Creed Origins’ has already doubled the initial sales of the previous installment. Dare I say, killing the sales charts
The latest AssCreed has doubled the sales of the previous title across the same launch period. Drink that the fuck in. I’m not surprised though, because everything I’ve read about Assassin’s Creed Origins suggests that at the very least, it’s fun. A reinvention of a viscous formula? Not quite. However, the impression seems that the franchise benefitted from actually, oh I don’t know, taking a fucking year off. So, here’s hoping that Ubisoft makes the connection between the uptick in sales, and the deannualization of AssCreed.