#Star Wars

Han Solo movie called ‘Solo: A Star Wars’ story, a title as unimaginative as Lucasfilm themselves

han solo movie solo a star wars story

Since the parting of its initial directors, I’ve regarded the Han Solo movie as an inoffensive fart done in a quiet room. At best, maybe an adequate, forgettable dish of vanilla ice cream. Well, said fart-ice cream has wrapped production finally, with a fart-ice cream title to match.

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‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Trailer: Old Man Luke Fears The Power Of The Force

It’s the final trailer for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, what the fuck else do you need to know? Watch it! Then come back!

Are you back? Nice! Impressions? What did you think?

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‘The Last Jedi’ Teaser: Full Trailer & Ticket Sales Tomorrow, You Rebel Scum

star wars the last jedi trailer ticket sales

Here is brief trailer snippet from the MarketingWizards at DisneyLucasFilth to announce a full Last Jedi trailer dropping tomorrow. Not only that, though! Tickets go on sale tomorrow night as well.

After the jump, because fucking Twitter video.

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‘Star Wars: Rebels’ Final Season Trailer: The Rebellion Begins Finally Blah Blah

star wars rebels final trailer

Here’s the trailer for the final season of Star Wars: Rebels. I know the show is good, I know I want to watch it. However, I also unfortunately know that I’m fucking exhausted with the creative forces behind Star Wars jerking off to the same couple of for the past thirty years.

After the jump because fucking Twitter video, Jesus Christ.

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Abrams’ ‘Episode IX’ script will be the movie’s fourth. Burn it down and start over, makes sense

abrams episode ix fourth script

To note that Episode IX‘s production has been “slightly tumultuous” is akin to saying my post-pizza and Chez-It farts are “slightly nauseating”, to say the least. I mean good god, the movie is currently on its fourth fucking script. However, this news makes sense to me. The first script featured Leia, and was diarrhea’d out by Jurassic World Guy and his writing partner. The second was their stab at a script without her in it. The third, Sweet Christ the third, was a punch-up done by Jack Thorne.

With Abrams and his bland middling mediocrity coming aboard, and I’m being serious here, it makes sense to start with a fresh slate. Whatever existed before seems like a real fucking Frankenstein’s monster, and it is best to put it out to pasture.

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‘Star Wars: Episode IX’ delayed until December 2019. Makes sense, I assume they have no script right now

star wars episode ix delayed december 2019

Lots of Episode IX news lately. Jurassic World guy was fired. J.J. Abrams was brought in to both write *and* direct. Now, the aforementioned film has been delayed six months. This makes sense since, you know, I imagine Abrams is starting from scratch on the script. I don’t really have a problem with this, despite my horrid moaning about Abrams taking over. Frankly, I don’t want any of Jurassic World guy’s script. Not only that, though, but I enjoy Star Wars movies as a Christmas treat.

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J.J. Abrams writing and directing ‘Episode IX’, Uninspired and Safe Lucasfilm Remains Uninspired and Safe

jj abrams writing directing episode ix

There are certainly worse choices than J.J. Abrams to direct Episode IX. Lucasfilm just fired one. But, man. I can’t help but feel uninspired by this choice, especially when I was quietly hoping for Rian Johnson to return. Abrams wrote and directed Episode VII, which was an enjoyable, incredibly dumb affair. Great characters, hilariously stupid plot. Oh well. At least us Star Wars losers will have competence, as Lucasfilm continues to make safe choice after safe choice. I’m sure I’ll enjoy the movie, while worrying about Lucasfilm’s reticence to do anything too risky and interesting.

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‘Star Wars’ trading card provides best look at Supreme Leader Snoke’s ground beef-lookin’ assface

supreme leader snoke topps card

Want a look at Supreme Leader Snoke’s ground beef lookin’ assface, prior to The Last Jedi? OL and them Topps trading cards got you covered.

Hit the jump!

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Colin Trevorrow is no longer directing ‘Star Wars: Episode IX’. Praise the Force

colin trevorrow not directing episode ix

Pretty much no one I knew, including myself, was happy with Colin Trevorrow directing Episode IX. Don’t wanna kick someone when they’re down, yadda yadda. But, I’m thrilled with this news.

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‘Star Wars Rebels’ Season 4 Trailer: All Paths Are Coming Together

Here’s the second trailer for Star Wars Rebels‘ fourth season! I don’t watch the show, I know I should, but none the less the trailer entertained me.

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