#Star Wars

‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ poster appeals to your nostalgia because the last movie was garbage

jurassic world

Fuck this poster and fuck Jurassic World.

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Ron Howard directing ‘Han Solo’ movie, so here’s to bland ass boring movies

ron howard han solo movie directing

Ron Howard is officially taking over directing duties for the Han Solo movie. And, man. Talk about pivoting from two interesting filmmakers to the most middle-of-the-road, inoffensive, boring-ass choice. The first two post-Lucas Star Wars offerings have een a shameless remake of the original movie, and a heavily reshot movie that cleaved far away from its director’s vision. I’m fearful Lucasfilm is straight-up afraid or unwilling to offer anything remotely fresh in a galaxy far, far away.

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‘Han Solo’ movie eyeing Ron Howard to replace Phil Lord and Chris Miller

han solo movie ron howard

Sure, whatever, okay.

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‘Han Solo’ spin-off movie loses its directors and now everything is terrible

han solo movie loses directors

Citing creative differences, Lord and Miller have left the Han Solo movie. These two dudes were, quite frankly, the only reason I hate faith such a movie could be executed well. The two directors have made a career out of taking seemingly hackneyed and offensively dull premises and turning them into refreshingly subversive, and intelligent comedies. And now. Man.

I am…seriously fucking worried about this movie, and bummed.

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Maybe: ‘Han Solo’ movie crew shirts reveal the film’s official title

han solo movie title shirt

Take this for what it’s worth. The Han Solo movie crew got their own shirts. Said shirts may reveal the official title of the film, they may not. Welcome to the echo chamber SuckDrome that is the modern internet.

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‘Star Wars Battlefront II’ Gameplay Trailer: Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Dogfighting In Space

Man. I didn’t really expect much from the Star Wars Battlefront II gameplay trailer. But, I was completely wrong. This trailer is the berries.

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Next ‘Star Wars’ spin-off movie to be decided by June, please anything but Boba Fett

next star wars spin-off movie

I am particularly agreeable when it comes to this new, Disney-owned Star Wars universe. So while I would love, with boner and smile alike, a Star Wars movie set outside established canon, I’m sort of accepting that won’t be coming any time soon. So, given my agreeability, can we please just be given anything but a fucking Boba Fett movie? Please?

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‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ gets four ‘Vanity Fair’ covers to keep us sweating

star wars the last jedi vanity fair

Yeah, I know you’ve already seen these already. But! I was busy at work! So lay off! But! I want to save them for posterity. So lay off!

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Watch: ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ trailer gets that 16-Bit treatment

…cause everything must get a 16-bit remix, right?

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‘Star Wars: Episode IX’ hitting theaters May 24, 2019

star wars episode ix may 24 2019

We now have an official release date for the final movie in the *latest* Skywalker trilogy. May 24, 2019.

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