The latest acquisition for some sort of asshole with too much money are the pants that Luke Skywalker wore while he and a bunch of terrorists were running around destroying Space-Stations in A New Hope. Them fuckers didn’t go cheap, either.
I feel you if you’re worrying (you being the three or four people who actually are present) that this site has devolved into a Star Wars wankfest as of late. However, my retort? I don’t know what to tell you. The Force sculpted my nerd-spine. So when news drops thata new animated series being helmed by legitimate talent is coming down the pipeline, I have almost no choice but to stick my Chewbacca Fleshlight onto my sad Sarlacc and go to work.
Take this with so much salt that you being to seize. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers has been linked to Episode VII as the franchise’s first potential cast member. Like I said. So much salt.
Why is this news? Because I jack off into a sock that I’ve fashioned to look like Chewbacca! That’s why. A new Star Wars is less than a year from filming. Oh God, the texture of my nipples as I type that sentence.
This just feels right, no? J-Daddy Lensflare expects the master of all Star Wars tunage to be returning to the franchise for Episode VII. While I’ve thought Williams has been sort of mailing it in the past couple of works (heresy, I know, whatever), just the idea of having the man behind the iconic score(s) makes me a bit wet in the slop-house.
Thanks to The Dude for bringing this horrifyingly glorious abomination to my attention. A minor league baseball team shall be donning these jerseys on the same evening of sport where they will be selling Star Wars-themed food. It seems like the best nine innings conceived of thus far this year.
God bless the participatory culture that Star Wars generates. A latest example of this wonderful community is a one-minute animation that tells A New Hope’s entire tale.
Patton Oswalt’s pitch for Episode VII that ripped up the Internets yesterday? Yeah, it has itself a pretty amazing goddamn poster now.
I imagine this is going to be a divisive development among those of us who shove lightsabers in our ass – nay, need to shove lightsabers in our ass – just to have an orgasm. Disney has dropped that they are planing on releasing a new Star Wars flick every year, starting in 2015. To this I say: fuck yes! Certainly, it may devalue the magic of the original franchise. However, it’ll also give us a copious amount of the Universe we love. And if one of the flicks sucks? Eh, maybe next year! That said, I can completely understand those who fear overexposure, and underwhelming installments.
Here is a new Star Wars rumor. A sleuth upon the International Movie Database has uncovered a trove of documents purporting to detail the new cartoon in Uncle George’s Former Empire. Take a look at the deets, and then let me know what you think.