J.J. Abrams got himself a fucking Herculean task with Episode IX. He needs to appease those Star Wars fans who hated Episode VIII. He needs to acknowledge the criticisms of his own Episode VII. One of the major stars of the movie passed away, sending the entire original script(s) into Hell. And not only that, but he has to wrap-up a saga in just one film following a movie that pretty much kicked over the entire fucking sandbox.
But! At least he has a script.
Wait, what? The dudes behind Game of Thrones are going to be writing and producing a completely new series of Star Wars films. I can dig this, dig this so hard.
The first full trailer for Solo: A Star Wars Story has dropped, and well. I actually enjoyed it! In fact, I actually enjoyed it despite the fact that Solo himself seems leadened and uncharismatic as fuck. Aesthetically, it’s gorgeous. Every actor except Solo and Mother of Wooden Dragons seem dope, and the trailer itself was bumping.
Han Solo: A Banal Ron Howard Experience‘s first trailer is dropping this Monday, on Good Morning America. I really, really wish I gave a fuck about this movie, but, I don’t. At least not right now. That isn’t to say that I won’t like it, who the fuck knows. After months and months of shitting on both Deadpool and X-Men: Days of Future Past, I really ended up digging those movies. So! Again, who the fuck knows. But right now, my most common thought regarding Solo is genuine surprise at a Star Wars movie dropping in three months.
‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ getting theme from John Williams, but Kathleen Kennedy will probably fire him
Get it?! ‘Cause Kathleen Kennedy is a fucking wrecking ball, taking out all sorts of talent at Lucasfilm?! Most maddeningly to me, the original directors of Solo! Get it?! Eh!? Am I bitter? Yup!
Ewan McGregor is good as Obi-Wan. Yes, yes, I know. However, I’m just not going to get psyched about another regurgitating of current mythos until Lucasfilm begins bringing some new ideas into the fold. That said, I’m sure I’ll mark out for this movie. I stand for nothing, it is clear.
‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Circle Jerk: Your Hopes, Dreams, Fears, and Potential Cinematic Bowel Movements
Quickly, quickly now. The vapors are hitting me as I walk down this long hallway. I don’t have much time, much time until they reach me. You know them, the ones with the grease-slicked pincers. You know them, the ones with the hollow eyes and bloated bellies. Oh, they won’t let me talk once they find me.
And today, friends, I have to talk to you about something incredibly important. The Last Jedi.
Why, why must I talk? For, as the date nears, as the dawns burn into evenings burn into fallen pages off a calendar, the reality has begun to set-in.
What, what reality do I speak of?
Rian Johnson says he has “no limitations” when it comes to creating his new Star Wars trilogy. I know the cynics are going to throw the “Bullshit” flag, but I’m going to be stoked. I’m glad to see Lucasfilm finally letting dope creators create in their sandbox.
All of the Star Wars movies have been this intertwining collection of derivation for the past, you know, forty years. So if Episode IX is truly going to end the Skywalker Saga (even for a little fucking while), I am stoked. It’s a rewarding, rich-as-fuck universe. Let’s start mining some new veins within.
New TV spot for The Last Jedi! I haven’t watched it, ain’t gonna watch it, but if you’re inclined…watch it!