#Johnny Hotsauce

Buy These Futzing Comics!!! (6.3.2015) You Are Not Your Unnecessary Sequel

fightclub2

Your are not your universe obliterating mega-crossover events. Your are not your variant covers, or your movie tie-ins, or even your love-affair with nostalgia. You are Jack’s Sagging Testicles. You are his Receding Hair-line, his Second Mortgage. You are Jack’s Enlarged Prostate, and you are Jack’s Pill Addiction. Welcome back to Fight Club, Marlas and Tylers. Welcome back to Buy These Futzing Comics. No rules here, my little space monkeys, only rad comics. Strap in, make sure you grab a name tag, and slide…

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (09.11.2014) Seen Better Days

Intro.

Ladies, germs.  I am not well.  What started out Monday as a simple sore throat, just the tiniest of itches, has mutated inside of me.  I am transformed now.  I feel wholly different.  I’m like Vincent D’Onofrio in Men In Black – just a human shell for an alien bug that is wearing me like a Member’s Only jacket, talking in slurred speech and a weird non-Midwestern dialect.  I feel like my mutant power is whining like an infant child.  Get Xavier on the phone, see if this is Omega Level or not.  Feels like it.  I have a few solaces, though:  hot liquids, cold ice cubes, a bunch of purple pills from Dr. Spaceman that soothe the throat but has the unfortunate side effect of “trickle nipple.”  And comics.  Comics have been a longtime sick-day savior, comforting me when medicine and absentee parenting did not.  So I venture out, my throat a hot barrel of fire.  So what if I’m Patient Zero for some new super-strain of Sarlaac Esophogeal Syndrome, I need mah comics!  And now I bring my buy-sies to you.  I’ve seen better days, sure, but sharing my weekly comic-book haul works better than any goddamned, bitter-tasting throat lozenge.  So step inside, friends.  Let’s heal through the power of funnybooks.

A full list of this week’s comics can be found right HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (7.29.14) Fraction/Aja Post-Eisner Victory Lap

Hawkeye #19.

Some folks, after a huge critical and creative success, are content to rest on their laurels.  Some winners are one-and-done, fading back into the heaping middle of mediocrity with the rest of the world.  But for creators Matt Fraction & David Aja, fresh off of their 2014 Eisner win for “Best Single Issue,” laurel-resting is not an option.  Step inside and let’s talk about another landmark issue of a book destined to be talked about for years to come, an issue that is a storytelling force of nature, and one that puts a target on other creators’ backs.  And peeps, lemme tell ya – Hawkeye never misses.

A full list of this week’s comics can be found right HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (7.32.14) Reconstructionist Theory

Supreme

Wednesday’s get me pumped folks, how about you?  I love the idea of new stories waiting out there for me, or continuations of old, beloved ones.  Though my heart is in San Diego right now, bouncing through the unwashed, cosplaying masses at Comic-Con, I can bring it back with a simple trip to the local comic shop, where these stories await my searching eyes and careful fingers.  So step inside and let’s talk about what’s in store for us, which includes the reinstallation of reality, robot janitors, homeless teens, rad future-Avengers, Bat-birthdays, and a healthy dosage of Warren Ellis!

A full list of this week’s releases can be found HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (7.09.14) – You Don’t Know (Wait for it…) DICK

Grayson!

Do you know the man in the image above?  Does he look familiar?  No, it’s not that douche-chill Agent Ward, but close!  It’s former circus freak, former Robin the Boy Wonder, former cop, former vigilante Nightwing, former Batman, formerly dead (yeah, he died) Dick Grayson – back from the semi-afterlife and ready to tackle his new career, that of globetrotting superspy!  Sound intriguing?  Well step inside and let’s discuss horrible Dick puns, teen time cops, future-noir, and more!

A full list of this week’s releases can be found HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (7.02.14) – Creative F-Bombs

rocket raccoon!

Science fiction authors love makin’ up swear words.  Frak.  Frag.  Frell.  Ruttin’.  Hawkeye’s Clint Barton likes to say “futz” or “futzing,” my personal favorite.  All very creative ways of dropping the holiest of curses and squeaking past the censors, or an easy way of adding flavor to a world without using descriptors.  The little critter pictured above, Rocket Racoon, even has one:  Flark.  And, oh boy, does he use it.  All the flarking time.  In fact, despite being a cute, anthropomorphic mammal, he really is a foul-mouthed, violent little fucker.  Luckily for us, he’s bringing those tendencies to a brand new ongoing book this week!  So step inside and lets talk some futzing comics, shall we?

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (06.25.14) All Falls Down

Saga #20. One comic to lift your spirits, one comic to dash them down.  One comic that will keep you up at night, one comic that feels like a warm blanket of comfort.  That’s the beauty of Wednesday’s, ladies and germs – that’s the beauty of comics!  Every week we get not one but many stories to choose from, to be read in whatever order we choose (and we ALL have an order), to put us in whatever kind of mood we want to be in.  Sometimes, though, one book can be all those things – one story can contain many.  Comedy, tragedy, love, and loss.  A book that mirrors the ups and downs of life would have to be pretty intricately woven, though, wouldn’t it?  It couldn’t be just one person’s story, or even one family’s.  It may even envelope an entire galaxy.  We call that kind of story a Saga, and this week Image Comics proudly delivers another chapter.  So step inside and lets discuss epic sci-fi fantasy, gods and monsters, teen superheros, and the adaptability of humanity.  Yeah, we get deep this week, kiddies.

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (06.11.14) The Watcher is Giving You the Stink-Eye

Original SIns

Hola, compadres!  Welcome to another very fine installment of BTFC, the only place on the internet to find the best-of-the-best comic releases on a week-to-week basis.  Trust me, we’ve looked.  We’re also third in hyphenate usage.  So don’t be shy, step inside.  This week we’ve got poor, dead Uatu’s eyball, and a bunch of comics that celebrate our never-ending culture of violence.  Should be fun!

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (5.28.14) – Transmissions From the Old Bastard

Trees!

Comics, man.  Do you live and breathe them, like I do?  Is every Wednesday a sacrificial offering of time and monies to the 4-Color Gods?  If so, you’ve come to the right place – that fantastic little corner of Spaceship Omega where we discuss what we earn from our sacrifices: our weekly comic haul.  This week bring us comics with bad guys and bastards, mad titans and mad geniuses, and a healthy dose of mind fuckery.  Step in and check out our picks for the best of the best, and don’t forget to share you pull list in the comments section!

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (5.21.2014)- Happy Saga Week!

Saga #19!

Boom!  Image Comics throws down the gauntlet this week on the competition, and then proceeds to forget formal rules of combat declaration and decides to nuke the entire field of play with a megatonnage of great books dropping this week on our collective asses.  Step inside and find out which funnybooks are worth your while.  No capes allowed in this edition of BTFC!

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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