#May2019

The Rock teases a meeting with Kevin Feige. Get this dude into the MCU right fucking now!

the rock kevin feige

The Rock. Despite not really being in any movies I give two shits about (excepting the Furious movies and its upcoming spin-off), I love the dude. Gorgeous. Charming as fuck. Humorous. Really, a check-list of attributes that would make him welcome in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. So let’s get this shit done!

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Idris Elba is the villain in the ‘Fast and Furious’ spin-off starring The Rock and Statham. MOTY confirmed!

idris elba fast and furious spin off villain

How do you force me to get even more torqued about The Rock’s Fast and Furious spin-off? Push my purple-headed priapism to previously inconceivable heights? Cast Idris Elba as the villain.

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‘Deadpool 2’ director officially helming The Rock’s ‘Fast and Furious’ spin-off. I’m fully torqued

david leitch fast furious spinoff the rock

David Leitch is officially directing the Fast and Furious spin-off starring The Rock and Jason Statham. While it’s true he wasn’t who I hoped for (rumors had Shane Black in contention), it’s a fantastic consolation prize. Dude has more than proven his action chops across John Wick, Atomic Blonde, and the upcoming Deadpool 2.

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‘Rampage’ Trailer: Dwayne Johnson’s monster movie finally leans into its absurdity

Even though I’m still pissed The Rock hasn’t done a nice, Hard-R, brutal action movie, I’m just going to embrace this Rampage flick. Yes, it’s patently fucking absurd, and that’s what may make it fun as fuck.

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‘Rampage’ Trailer: Seriously, The Rock. What the fuck are you doing?

Man. I’ve been binging 1980s action movies this year. And around the time of my twentieth or thirtieth one, I had a revelation. The Rock is goddamn wasted on all of these adaptations, franchise revivals, and fucking disaster porn spectacles. He should be mirking dudes with his biceps and boomsticks and bayonets. Smashing skulls, driving fast, ripping off one-liners. Not, Jesus fucking Christ, running around the city with his goddamn genetically engineered gorilla friend. Fighting other shitty looking monsters.

Like, what the fuck is going on. This looks so, so stupid.

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The Rock officially announces his ‘Fast And Furious’ spin-off with Jason Statham

the rock jason statham fast and furious spinoff

Well, it’s official! The Rock and Jason Statham will be punching copious amounts of skulls together. As well as bantering quite well, too.

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The Rock and Jason Statham’s ‘Fast And Furious’ Spin-Off officially happening. Shane Black may direct, which is so perfect

fast and furious rock statham spin-off shane black

The Rock and Jason Statham were the stars of the previous Furious movie, a fact not lost on Vin Diesel. In fact, you could his fucking chapped ass from space. Anyways. The duo are getting a goddamn spin-off movie, and Shane fucking Black may be directing. This is so fucking perfect, my dudes.

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Rumor: The Rock’s Black Adam is the villain in ‘Man of Steel 2’

the rock black adam man of steel 2

How do you inject some, dare I say it, fun into the second Man of Steel? By adding a heaping helping of The Rock. Obviously! (I don’t believe this rumor, FWIW, but I’ll talk anything related to The Rock.)

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The Rock’s ‘Black Adam’ Getting His Own Standalone Movie

the rock black adam solo movie

The Rock’s Black Adam is getting his own standalone movie. I don’t really know how this is going to work.  DCU doubling down on anti-hero flicks? Perhaps a light massaging of the character’s utter evilness?

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‘Baywatch’ Trailer: We Were In Lifeguard Pursuit!