Kiss the tip of your favorite Elder God, it’s the fucking weekend! Nuzzle their nozzle, gnosh their gnash. It’s time to pay supplication to them! Or, support a local union. Whatever one you prefer. Whatever, whatever! All I fucking know is that it’s the start of the weekend for me. Not only a weekend though, friends. A long weekend.
Not a moment too soon. Honestly, maybe a moment too late. But it’s here!
And per the rules of Weekend Open Bar, I hope you’ll spend some time around the hearth with me. Shooting the shit for the next couple of days. Delving into what you’re diving into this weekend. Are you going to catch a movie? Scream in blind rage at the TV as a fantasy football player of yours drops a touchdown? Mayhaps, you’re just sitting around in a diaper and pouring melted Laffy Taffy onto your sweat-slicked body.
I don’t know! But, I want to! Come hang out.
Whelp. It’s Monday, folks. And that fucking sucks. Whelp. It’s dark out at 4:45 pm, folks. And that fucking sucks as well. But, here I am. Here you are, too! If you’re reading this. Mindlessly browsing this collection of letters and symbols while taking a crap, or standing on a bus, or reclining on a couch, or sitting at your computer desk. And really, what can we do about this current situation? Make the most of it, I suppose. Together!
Here in Monday Morning Commute!
You know the spiel. This here is the weekly wank-off where we share what we’re looking forward and enjoying across the latest Monday through Friday gauntlet. Nothing says “surviving life” like listing off a series of distractions. And, nothing says “community” like me screaming into the bleak, blank, black void of cyberspace.
I hope you’ll join me in the comments section!
You know how fucking long OL has been around? This ain’t the first time I’ve used “Please Stand By” as a MMC title. That said, it felt apropos as fuck, so I’m rolling with it. As well, I must confess, I didn’t realize I was reusing it until the url generator inserted a 2, but here we are.
Straight-up? I miss you fucks! The semester hit, and blammo! I fucking disappeared in a cloud of dust. I suppose it’s to be expected, but I suppose I don’t think it’s acceptable.
Oh sure, I share articles. And, like, one or two of you appear to comment. But, a good old-fashioned fucking Monday Morning Commute where we hang out? Shoot the shit about what we’ve been enjoying? Been too long. Far, far too fucking long.
So, I hope you meanderers, lurkers, and longtime friends come out in the comments section!
Here’s what I’ve been digging since the last installment.
A trailer for The Expanse Season 4! But, I ain’t watching it. Despite the show having not passed where I am in the book series, I still don’t want to check this shit. Nope! Not until I finish the third season. Still though, I can’t wait for it to return.
Nature simply does not give a fuck about us, my dudes. And if you can come to accept that, and work within it, it’s sort of freeing. What’s the Grand Plan for us? Nothing. And what does that mean? Fuck if I know. But, is it all hopeless? Fuck nah! At least not for me, an Absurdist Optimist. I’ll forge ahead. What does that mean?
Some days? It means eating an entire pizza, burping my dick into my underwear, and blogging for a couple hours.
Other days? It means mowing the lawn, patting my dog, and attempting to function like a normal human.
Amazon has already renewed The Expanse for a fifth season. And, now that the company has saved the show, I have a simple demand. See the series through until the end. Like, don’t save it to nix it mid-story yet again. If this news is any indication? It’s looking good that my demand is met.
Salutations, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. It is I, your over-caffeinated, mentally-compromised captain! Why, when I’m not hurtling us into the gaping maw of echo-chamber buffoonery, talking about my own dick (and how it pumped, oh did it pump for the Doom Eternal gameplay), and generally embarrassing myself, I like to open up the Open Bar on the weekend! I know, oh do I know. I’m infrequent these days. Apologies all around. Here, here. Take a moist, poorly-wrapped candy from my pocket. Here, here. Take an I.O.U, redeemable for approximately one brutal high-five and chest-bump.
Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! ‘Cause it’s the weekend! Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! Cause it’s the weekend, and it’s the twentieth of April! You know! That day. That probably means nothing to you!
But that said, this week it’s the Weekend Open Dispensary! Ha, get it?
My desired Existential-Aesthetic is mid-to-late-1980s Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.
There is such a manic, loosely-tethered lunacy to his movies that more or less perfectly captures the reciprocal nature of It, itself. The meaning in his films are kind of missing, maybe there, sort of apparent, but always haunting you as you dare to ascertain It. Yet, despite the non-sensical, godless, utterly conflicting messages of his movies, that still manage to have fun and revel in doing so.
And yeah, I guess, that’s sort of how I want to approach life, to approach It. It’s a godless, non-sensical world, with no apparent plot or overriding structure. But, despite that, I’m going to cobble together my own absurdist meaning, and have fun doing so.
And I hope you’ll join me, this weekend, at the Open Bar, in celebrating our own non-sensical, absurd existences together. Come, come, come into the bar. Share what you’re up to. The movies you’re watching, the liquid you’re imbibing, the books you’re reading. Anything and Everything always, so long as it adheres to this place’s sole rule: goddamn it, you’ve got to be kind.
Welcome to Doldrums City, comrades. Population: Me (at the very least). I’m sick. I’m tired. The Earth is melting, our government is run by lily livered cretins and monsters. Football is over. The sky is ash. I’m stick. I’m tired. All I want to do is sleep, masturbate wildly while screaming at the ceiling fan, and eat. Eat, and eat, and eat, and eat. Rinse. Repeat.
This is MondayMorningCommute by way of TuesdayAfternoon.
Being MMC BYO TA, the task at hand is simple. I share what I’m looking forward to this week. What I’m hoping will rocket me out of Doldrums City, comrades. Then you share your own anticipatory happenings in the comments section.