Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (12.18.13) – Too Much Awesome To Handle

Jingle bells.

Seven days left, ya’ll!  You feelin’ it?  Merry X-Mens is right around the corner, and the search for gifts, trimming of trees, all that goofy shit is reaching a fever pitch.  Me?  No X-Mens Spirit yet, folks, I gotta be up front.  Ol’ Hotsauce is workin’ like crazy and is bone-weary.  But I’m getting there.  It helps when I get to kick back and relax, catch up on the tv I’ve had to ignore, and dive into the ever-growing “To Read” funnybook stack.  That stack grows considerably larger this week as a truckload of my very favorite books drop.  It’s like Kris Kringle, even knowing full damned well I’ve never been on the NICE list, is still looking out for me.  Hit the jump and see what books have caught my eye and belong in stockings across the globe (note:  do not actually put a comic book into a comic book fan’s stocking – don’t fuck up the CGC value plzzzzz), and make sure to tell us what books you want wrapped, bagged, and boarded under YOUR tree.  For those of you reading that don’t celebrate X-Mens, you should be ashamed.  Very un-American of you.  Xavier died for all of our sins, and his birthday should be kept holy.

On to the books!

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Buy These Flippin Comics!!! (10.16.2013) – Wednesdays By Any Other Name

Wednesdays By Any Other Name.

The powers-that-be would have you believe that today is just a Wednesday, another school day.  Another workday.  Some jack-ass, somewhere around the world, right this very instant, is quoting that inane GEICO camel, asking every other poor sap that has the misfortune working with him if they know what day it is.  “What day is it, Leslie? “  “Mike, do you know what day it is?”  If that guy is in your office – coffee mug in hand, smug, all-too satisfied look plastered on his corporate sellout face, do me a favor.  Stand up and tell him what day it is.  Take your keyboard and unplug it from your PC.  Just as he rounds the corner to your cubicle and asks you if you know what day it is – you swing.  Swing HARD*.  Make sure plastic keys connect with bone.  Make sure coffee ruins khakis, and teeth spray like Skittles from a rainbow.  Stand over him, and wait for his eyes to focus again and meet your own. “I know what day it is, Kyle.  Wednesday is Comic Book Day!  Bitch.”  Hit the jump and lets talk comics, and you should probably get away from that d-bag Kyle before he calls the cops.

*Omega-Level does not condone the use of violence to let people know about comic book day, and suggests perhaps just handing out free/unwanted comics to co-workers and friends as a much healthier way of dealing with your issues.

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Buy These Stinkin’ Comics! – Jan 15, 2013: Don’t deepthroat the rodents.

Welcome to Buy These Stinkin’ Comics!, the far too irregular/theoretically weekly comic book column. When this rotting husk of a column manifests, its intended use is to share the various comic titles that we are all interested in on a given week. Audience participation is requested – nay – required to make this monster’s heart beat. Should you not see a comic listed that you’re interested in (and you will, my taste generally is lacking), share it in the comments section. Let’s do this.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – Dec 5, 2012: Hawkeye’s Quiver Burns Like Hell

Welcome to Buy These F**king Comics!, the column where all of us goobers get together and share the funny books we’re interested in buying in a given week. There is nothing so magical as hitting the shelves on Hump Day and snagging some comics to drag our wayward asses through the final two days of drudgery. Except maybe winning the PowerBall. That seems really magical. Plus, if I won it I wouldn’t have to scrape gum-covered quarters off the inside of trash cans to buy my comic books. Shit, that sounds pretty neat. Okay, so buying comic books is second in the line of majestic happenings. But it’s a close race. So, uh. Yeah. Again, welcome to the column. If I don’t mention your favorite weekly drop, let me know it in the comments section. If you are one of those booger-eating maestros who is too busy attempting to calculate the enormity of the Multiverse to know what is coming out this week, hit up Comic List. It’ll do you good.

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Buy These Frakin’ Comics! – November 13, 2012: No Saga is complete without a magical phallus!

Out of the darkness emerges a hero! It ain’t me. That hero comes along, smashes me in the gullet, and drags my corpse into the creak whilst I scream. What I can do is welcome you back to Buy These Frakin’ Comics! It’s been over a month since I saddled up to this column and shared the juicy pink comic bits I want to be snagging on a given Wednesday. Better yet? It’s been over two months since I actually snagged the funnies off a rack. Busy, man. Jaded, woman. I return today, hoping to double down on some PMA and ride the sequential artwork once more. In this here column we gather round, scratching dander out of our cracks while sharing the comic books we’re buying. Don’t see your fave rag in my list? Good. Audience participation is crucial, and I’m always looking for new finds.

Not sure what is coming out? Hit up Comic List.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – October 3, 2012: Nao It Is The Devil’s Time, My Children.

Hello friends and welcome to Buy These F**king Comics!. The comic book shop group-wank turned internet-based (non) sensation. Here within these hallowed halls we gather, sharing the various comic books, graphic novels, clusters of sequential art, and plush, slightly erotic dolls we’re buying on a given Wednesday. If you’re not certain what’s coming out, hit up Comic List. If I omitted your binky, let me have it the comments section.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – August 15, 2012: Sextillion can’t handle Butcher Baker! Dude rolls hard.

Wednesday. The delicious oasis in the middle of the weekly grind. Deliver us from 9-5. Deliver us from Cubicles. Deliver us in the form of weekly sequential artwork. Laser beams. Righteous makers. Providing just enough escape to slog through the last two days. This here is Buy These F**king Comics!, the column where we share the various titles we’re excited for on a given week. This column is powered by audience interaction, so if you see my poor taste and me abstaining from mentioning a title, throw it into the ring. Sharing is caring.

Don’t know what is arriving on shelves? Hit up Comic List. It’s cool. We’ll wait.
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Buy These F**king Comics! – August 8, 2012: Becky Cloonan, Godzilla, Jesus Christ, and Other Rock Stars.

Greetings, Earthlings and interdimensional lurkers. It’s Wednesday, and that can only mean one thing. Time for me to lumber down to the LCS, notice that they don’t have the two comic books I want, and flip a shelf. Scream loudly. Dive head first through the glass, trailing blood and tendon dangling from said shards. Scream at drivers as I run wildly through traffic, picking bits and beads of skin and  skull out of my Kingdom Come Superman t-shirt. Stumble into a ditch. Write this column telepathically, using the fading moments of my consciousness to commune with you folks.

Let us share, as darkness dawns on crumbling psyche, the comics we want to buy this week. Certainly, with shredded skin and violated visage, I’ll miss something you’re eager for. That is half the fun. Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up Comic List.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – August 1, 2012: Hawkeye Is A Homewrecker

Welcome friends to the place for fans of the sequential art, thrice-engorged breasts, and monologuing. This here column is the watering hole where you can share the funny rags you’re snagging on a given week. The hole itself is Mountain Dew laced with hallucinogens, so right about the time all our faces become gaping maw anuses rocketing lasers into the night sky, begin screaming your choices while running into the wilderness.

You may notice that my choices are indubitably not yours, and that’s cool. Use it as an opportunity to recommend the hotness that no one else is mentioning, or perhaps has not heard of. If you don’t know what’s what titles are arriving this week, hit up Comic List.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – July 11, 2012: Jesus Christ Died For Your Splash Page.

Oh fuck my tits! Comic book day lands on 7-Eleven day as well? Don’t mind me as I drown myself in syrupy-assed Double Big Gulp thunder will plowing through the latest stack of funny titles. Oh, you’re new here? I didn’t think I recognized those gorgeous blue eyes or your markedly laissez-faire attitude. This here column is where us lasses and lads of the comic book proclivity share what we’re snagging on a particular Wednesday. Sit down next to me, I like your musk.

Not sure what’s dropping? Hit up Comic List.

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