Buy These F**king Comics! – August 1, 2012: Hawkeye Is A Homewrecker

Welcome friends to the place for fans of the sequential art, thrice-engorged breasts, and monologuing. This here column is the watering hole where you can share the funny rags you’re snagging on a given week. The hole itself is Mountain Dew laced with hallucinogens, so right about the time all our faces become gaping maw anuses rocketing lasers into the night sky, begin screaming your choices while running into the wilderness.

You may notice that my choices are indubitably not yours, and that’s cool. Use it as an opportunity to recommend the hotness that no one else is mentioning, or perhaps has not heard of. If you don’t know what’s what titles are arriving this week, hit up Comic List.


Harvest #1
Pow! Speaking of hallucinogens, one of my favorite mad cap mind-fucks from the past few years of comic books was Cowboy Ninja Viking. Month after month it owned. Unfortunately, the son of a bitch slowly evaporated into non-existence, leaving me without the hilarity and ultra-violence it once brought. Upon news of its cancellation, I sat alone in my basement, clumsily eating Chez-Its in my underwear and ruing this darkest of timelines. Well glory fucking be, the writer of said comic book is back on the scene with Harvest. It may not feature triple-personality killing machines, but it seems to offer the same dented soup can look at reality.

This book writhing out of the damaged psyche (I say this with both love and admiration) of A.J. Lieberman is about an ex-surgeon who is hunting down illegal organs paid for by the rich and famous. Black market organ transplants in reverse! Give me back that liver, you swine. Ain’t going to be anything pretty about this, and that’s why I’m so excited.


Dopest of swag I should be reading.
As I often opine, there’s too many good titles dropping for me to keep up with them all. I know this runs counter-intuitive to the general malaise that can be applied less than judiciously all over the comic book market. Say what you will about the cranium-cracking madness that are the endless events, but amid the fireworks and confetti parties there are countless qualities afoot. There are several titles coming out this week that I either haven’t been able to find, can’t afford, or I am behind on. First up is the beastly Animal Man #12. Goddamn I need to plow trough the first trade of the Lemire run. Then, there is also Dial H #4 and Mind MGMT #3 to consider. The self-flagellation afoot over my failure to snag Matt Kindt’s latest is remarkable. Bloodied back and glassy eyes, I contemplate my own failures.

So uh yeah!, good week. Solid reminder that there’s a deluge of excellence underneath the chunky, well-manured soil of extravagance that coats the industry. In the near future, when I’m dressed up as Scarlet Witch (sans undies, they twist whilst fighting) and bellowing “NO MORE EVENTS”, please read this aloud to me. It may be a light for me, when all other lights go out.


Hawkeye #1
Don’t let that little fan fiction Jossy Whedon penned convince you otherwise. Natasha Romanov is straight-up destined to be in love with the most Wintery of Soldiers. Hawkeye? Really? When she can be hanging out with James The Better Captain America Barnes? It’s elementary. One dude runs around pretending he’s Katniss, the other has a cyborg arm and used to roll with the KGB. Aiight, aiight, I know I’m being a bit harsh.

In fact, I’m rather enthused with Clint Barton gaining his own title. I mean, Sweet Lords of Kobol, we’re talking about Matt Fraction and David Aja. The minds behind the criminally under-appreciated Iron Fist. The two of them could team-up for anything. Anything! With their powers combined, no, they are not Captain Planet. They’re Captain Sexy-Prose-Gorgeous-Art. It’s not nearly as succinct a captainship, but at least once a month they arrive and punch the midweek blues straight in its dangling donger. Ennui succumbs to their blazing tandem.

Since we’re on the Marvel tip, I’m also grabbing Ultimate Ultimately Miles Morales-Man #13. Less than enthused because the title is getting sucked into the maelstrom of the current even vibrating through the molecules of the Ultimate universe, but what can you do? Such is the aforementioned nature of the beast.


Them the titles I’m looking forward to this week. What’s tickling your fancy.