‘Avengers: Endgame’ becomes highest-grossing movie of all time as Disney defeats Disney to stick it to Disney
I am deeply disturbed by how many fucking nerds cared about one enormous popcorn flick overtaking another enormous popcorn flick for highest grossing movie of all time. Especially since they’re both owned by one enormous corporation.
Watch: Chris Pratt shares “really illegal” heartwarming ‘Avengers: Endgame’ behind the scenes video
This video is all the fucking feels. Hit the jump to check it out, cause Instagram video is gross.
Monday Morning Commute: Don’t ask me, I don’t know
Hey friends! Drinkwater here. Caffeine Powered here. CaffPow here. Whatever appellation you want to hang on me, go for it. I simply don’t fucking care. Weird week here for me, friends. My wife’s grandmother passed away last week, and we’re in that liminal state. Between the passing and the service. Between the act and the acceptance. If you’re reading this babe, I love you! You’ve got this. And so everything feels in stasis until at least the service on Saturday. But as we all know, it’ll be a much longer process than that.
Meanwhile, I am in the doldrums of the semester. Tired. I’m tired. The students are tired. The staff are tired. We all out here, tired. So, apologies if nothing is truly sizzling my tits right now. I present to you Monday Morning Commute, none the less. And, I suppose that’s where you come in.
Indeed, hit up the comments section.
Let me know what you’re enjoying!
Furthermore, let me know what you’re anticipating this week!
I’ll go first, per the rules of this dance.
‘Avengers: Endgame’ is breaking pretty much every fucking box office record. Already made $1.2 billion worldwide. G’damn!
Avengers: Endgame is breaking like, all the fucking box office records. All of them. It’s already made $1.2 billion dollars worldwide.
Monday Morning Commute: We’re In The Endgame(s) Now
We’re in the endgames now, my friends. With the crushing realization that the MCU As We Know It has about ten days left (less if you’ve seen the leaks), I’m beginning to descend into melancholic nostalgia. However, it isn’t just the MCU that’s wrapping things up. Nope! Johnny Wick‘s third and seemingly final adventure is right around the corner, and Game of Thrones‘ final season began on Sunday.
All three of those are reason for me to pause and mourn, but it ain’t all bad news. You see, I’m also staring at less than a month left in the semester. Won’t catch me crying over its demise, though. No way! No how!
Anyways, how the fuck are you? This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where we gather to share what we’re enjoying on a given week. As well, we babble about what’s dropping over the course of the next seven days that has us hype.
I’ll go first!
‘Avengers: Endgame’ Mini-Trailer: Taking The Fight To The Mad Titan (Good Fucking Luck!)
So, like, my hypothesis: the Avengers take the fight to Thanos early in Endgame. They get their asses whupped, and eventually realize they need to use their brains and not their brawn (also, the Quantum Realm) to take down the Mad Titan.
Monday Morning Commute: Say My Name!
Oh! I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me, huh? Oh, you didn’t? Just assumed I was in some sort of depressive, hermetic state? And that I’d emerge eventually, temporarily recharged? Well, fuck. You know me! Anyways, hey! Great to be here. Great to see you. Your teeth look wonderful, and your genitals look plump. Fantastic, fantastic! Anyways, I won’t belabor you much longer with this viciously verbose opening. Instead, I’ll pivot to the purpose of this here post, Monday Morning Commute!
To tell you what I’m enjoying lately. Be it active enjoyments, or portents of fun things on the horizon this week.
Then, per usual, I hope you’ll share your own warm-and-fuzzies in the comments section.
Watch: That ‘Avengers: Endgame’ theory where Ant-Man kills Thanos through his ass has a a video
Whelp, we have the video finally. THANUS. Ant-Man killing Thanos through his ass. The internet is a good, horrifying, troubling place. But, I’m here for it.
‘Avengers: Endgame’ is going to be 182 minutes. Which means I’m either peeing fourteen times or pissing my pants, tbd
Movies should not be longer than 97 minutes. Counting credits. That’s my rule. I developed it over a year ago in the throes of my now perpetual 1980s/early90s binge, and I stick by it. Oh, sure, there are some movies that defy this rule of mine. But, they are the exception, and in being the exception prove the rule. So, how do I feel about Avengers: Endgame being 182 fucking minutes? You know, I’m happy for as much of the original crew as they’re going to give us, for one last time. But, who knows. Maybe my feelings will change in a month.
‘Avengers: Endgame’ Trailer: The Team Is Ready To Do Whatever It Takes, But I Ain’t!
Man, just fuck me up with this unexpected Avengers: Endgame trailer, Marvel.