Russian ‘STAR WARS’ poster is madness. I approve.
This Russian Star Wars poster is out of its goddamn mind. I want to grab a pint with whatever mind caught the film and then generated this piece of bizarre reference.
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New ‘IRON MAN 3’ pic of Iron Patriot! Plus, the film is like totally not serious.
I wonder what sort of chuckle heads groaned and gnashed their teeth to prompt these new assurances about Iron Man 3‘s tone. Marvel Movie Czar Kevin Feige has come out and assured everyone that the movie is totally not serious. As though a serious movie would have been the equivalent of the studio bagging a fart and making us fans drink it deep. So don’t sweat, folks. This movie will be replete with the same haha-funny-time as the first two movies. Oh yeah! And if that information doesn’t give you a tingle, there is a new picture of Iron Patriot after the jump.
Grant Morrison responds to Alan Moore’s continual trash talking. It’s on!
Alan Moore doesn’t like Grant Morrison. That shouldn’t be surprising. Alan Moore doesn’t like anything that isn’t wizardry, orgies involving mythical creatures, or giving birds a home in his beard. After taking a continual beating from everyone’s favorite comics scribe turned necromancer, Grant Morrison has responded to Moore’s criticism.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: The Multiverse Could Use A Hug
The Multiverse is tired, man. It’s been kicking it around for like, billions or something. Billions of years. Across an infinite amount of realities. During that duration, it has seen some shit. Some yokel Farm Boy wielding Voodoo Mind Powers blowing up a giant mechanical star. A creepy Wizard hanging out with a bunch of little midgets who hug each other a lot while fingering this really creepy vaginal symbol. Dinosaurs. Computer-generated realities that serve as prisons for Meat Sacs while they power Robotic Boners. All of them have come to pass.
Here in our little morsel of the Multiverse, the lot of us lead banal but enjoyable lives. Hugging friends, drinking oak sodas, arguing about meaningless things. We feign importance because in reality we’re monkeys covered in our own seminal fluid and killing one another over Space Gods and illusory physical boundaries. Eh, what can you do. Here on Monday Morning Commute, us Monkey Monsters of the Multiverse share the various things that are getting us through yet another infinitesimal moment in the Infinite.
It’s a little batch of nothing, but Christ if it ain’t all we got.
Student who was expelled for refusing to wear RFID tag gets temporary hold.
Goddamn Info Warriors! To arms! The Illuminati Police Fascist State writhes against us! Time is that we shall need to don mind-cloaks and rally against them. Know that you are not alone. One such Truth Bastion is refusing to wear an RFID tag at her high school, and now she is facing expulsion. To arms! To arms! Something!
Microsoft planning their own ‘PROJECT GLASS’ equivalent. Errbody in AR goggles!
Microsoft is no stranger to scrambling to keep up with Google and Apple. It’s like, their forte at this point. New patents have revealed that the Gang that Says “Oh Yeah!” is dipping their toes in the AR goggles arena. In the future you won’t be cool unless you’re scrolling through tumblr starring at furry jizz shots on your glasses’ HUD while at a football game. It has been foreseen.
Press Start: British Turkey God Edition
I’ve not slept much this week. I’ve been consumed by thoughts of an imagined reality. I’ve been filling in the gaps, if you will: fleshing-out video game lore with some disturbing possibilities. Imagine the horror of being an animal trapped inside one of Dr. Robotnik’s murderous cybernetic shells: trained upon killing your only potential savior and being powerless to stop yourself. You try to resist, but the mechanical death-suit overpowers you: contorting and forcing your limbs into committing unspeakable acts.
You gaze downwards in horror at your blood-washed metallic hands: feeding tubes sustain your existence and damn you to a perpetual waking nightmare. As you gaze in horror at Sonic’s desecrated entrails, the suit gives you just long enough to truly absorb the horror of it all, then it contorts your limbs once again: wrenching your frail body towards an even darker purpose. Now you know that your family will die at your own hand.
‘GANGNAM STYLE’ is most viewed YouTube video ever. Now let it die.
There can’t be anyone who hasn’t seen “Gangnam Style” at this point, nor do I hope is there anyone who actually enjoys the meme-turned-cultural-cock-wart any longer. Even though the jam makes me want to cut my eyes out, I find the fact that it was such a phenomenon to be interesting. What was seemingly esoteric Internet nonsense spread across the body of the Modern Pop Psyche in ways I never would have imagined. This can only mean one thing. Our consciousness is plummeting into the future William Gibson foresaw.
Cornell University honors Carl Sagan with sexy LED light display.
Before Neil deGrasse Tyson was the astronomer du jour, there was the first homeboy Carl Sagan. Cornell University is paying tribute to the original astronomer to penetrate the mind-pieces of the pop culture zeitgeist with a rather radical laser light display.
Cosplay: WORLD WAR II Wonder Woman got them war bonds growing. Terrible pun ++
Jessica Lynn is back with more glory as a World War II rendition of Wonder Woman. Bounce to this!
