Sony reveals PlayStation 5 specs in insanely boring presentation by lead architect Mark Cerny
If you are like me, you’re deeply horny for some tangible next-gen news. Like, price points. Games. Release dates. But, first this week Microsoft failed to stroke me. And today, Sony followed suit.
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Coronavirus Non-Commute: It’s Not Depression, It’s COVID-19!
It ain’t depression, friends! It’s COVID-19! And baby is it ever striking! I’m on Spring Break, but Spring Break during the apocalypse doesn’t really pop. You know? Everything is closed. Nothing to do. Except sit around, worry about my job, eat too much, and refresh /r/coronavirus. Not good! Not good at all.
As someone who needs the gym not just for his body, but for his mind, this is a bit of a tough stretch. As someone who needs social interaction and routine just to slathered together a dinted, but functioning psyche, this is a bit of a tough stretch.
Which is why I need you more than ever, my friends! To help me bask in the frivolity and distractions that we need to pad our lives with. Perhaps not solely bask in, but times like this prove more than ever, we need as humans.
Here’s what’s on my motherfucking mind this week, friends. The arts I’m embracing, the fears that are chasing, and other miscellany bullshit. I hope you’ll join me in the comments. ‘Cause, like, what the fuck else are you doing?
This is the Coronavirus Non-Commute, the really weird temporary off-shoot of Monday Morning Commute.
Sony offering PlayStation 5 details tomorrow! Spec porn war is officially on!
Yesterday, Microsoft dropped a fuck-ton of Xbox Series X specs that meant less than zero to me. Tomorrow, Sony is dropping a fuck-ton of PlayStation 5 specs that will mean less than zero to me! They’re just numbers! What do I want from both fucking companies at this point? Launch date, launch price, and launch titles. Fucking c’mon, fellas.
NBCUniversal is breaking theatrical release windows and releasing movies on-demand immediately, including ‘The Invisible Man’ and ‘Emma’
NBCUniversal is giving the middle-finger to theatrical release windows, at least for now. The studio is going to release new movies on-demand immediately, at least for the forseeable future. As well, already released movies such as Invisible Man and Emma will be made available this Friday. I suppose something like this was inevitable, as COVID-19 forces theaters to close and studios to delay movies.
An Italian hospital ran out of ventilator valves. So, a local business started 3D printing the vales and saved lives. The future rules sometimes.
Okay, so. Maybe the future isn’t always bad. We can debate why an Italian hospital ran out of ventilator valves. Or, we could focus on the dope story of a local business 3D-printing the valves for the hospital and saving lives.
Microsoft has revealed a shit-ton of Xbox Series X specs. Like, do we care right now? I can’t, but I want to.
Today, Microsoft has dropped a shit-ton of Xbox Series X specs. I have to admit, a week ago I would have been stoked. This week? Hard to care, dude. Hard to care.
Japanese elementary school cancels graduation over coronavirus, students hold the ceremony in ‘Minecraft’ which is cool as fuck.
Hey! Here’s a neat little happening to make you smile in these absolutely appalling times! A Japanese elementary school canceled its graduation. So, did the students take it lying down? Fuck nah! They held it in Minecraft instead! So dope.
Steam breaks record with 20 million fucking concurrent users today. Gaming makes the pandemic go down easier!
Holy fucking shit, dudes. Steam had 20 million concurrent users today. This obliterates its standing record, but I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised.
Weekend Open Bar: You’ve Got To Be Kind
What’s up, travelers aboard the Space-Ship OMEGA? It’s finally, finally the Weekend Open Bar.
Boy. Weird week, no? COVID-19 has finally struck America’s consciousness, and such a strike has felled any sort of normalcy. Ain’t no sports! Ain’t no toilet paper! Movie premieres being delayed. Schools being closed. What the fuck! What the fuck does this all mean?
Honestly, I don’t know!
Next ‘The Witcher’ title going into production when ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ development concludes. Fucking obviously, it is a license to print money!
The Witcher 3 was huge prior to the Netflix series. And after the show hit? Hachi machi! Even bigger. Thus, it makes all the fucking sense in the world that another one is coming, after Cyberpunk 2077 wraps-up development.
