Marvel Studios releases a fuckload of new release dates for its movies including ‘Black Widow’, ‘The Eternals’ and others
Marvel Studios has released a fuckload of new release dates. ‘Cause, you know, fucking COVID-19. Black Widow is now dropping in November, which feels somewhat sane. This punts The Eternals to February, taking Shang-Chi‘s slot. And pretty much down the calendar the MCU movies are pushed. Not surprising.
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Space Swoon: Hubble captures a cannibal galaxy. The cosmos continues to be metal as all fuck!
Here’s some cosmic distraction, friends. The Hubble has captured a cannibal galaxy. The motherfucker NGC 4651 consumed a smaller galaxy, to give birth to the glorious one we see today.
‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ TV series now being written by the writer behind the absolute diarrhea that was ‘King Arthur: Legend of the Sword’ and like what the fuck
That Obi-Wan Kenobi TV series that junked all of its scripts? It’s brought on the writer of the asstacular movie King Arthur: Legend of the Sword to run the show. Yeah, I don’t fucking know at this point.
‘The Last of Us Part II’ has been delayed indefinitely due to the coronavirus. Fuck me.
The Last of Us Part II has been delayed indefinitely as a result of, you guessed it, the fucking coronavirus. There goes, like, the one thing I was looking forward to in this fucking maelstrom of suck.
Monday Morning Commute: An Explosive-Tipped Arrow to Our Mutual Malaise
Hey, friends! Welcome to another edition of Monday Morning Commute, within the current pandemically painful climate! I must confess, these posts are a bit difficult to write as of late. Not that I don’t want to hang with you all — in fact, I think that may be the primary reason I churn them out at all. Rather, it’s just deeply, deeply difficult for me to concentrate on anything days. One minute I’ll be cruising along the highway of Vibe City, and the next I’m contemplating society, the health of my friends, and the health of my wife’s employment and my own. But, what the fuck can you do? Cave? No way! Instead, we must make like Rambo.
That’s right. Strip off our shirts, oil up our bodies, and launch explosive-tipped arrows at our malaise. Let our hair be as beautiful as him, and let our aim be as true.
I’ll go first! Join me in the comments.
Remasters of most ‘Super Mario’ games coming to Nintendo Switch for the plumber’s 35th Anniversary. Fucking gnarly, dudes!
Goddamn, does Nintendo know how to throw a birthday party! The company is dropping remasters of most of the Super Mario catalog to celebrate the dude’s 35th anniversary!
‘Castlevania’ is officially getting a Season 4. I’m staked, I mean stoked, get that shitty pun?!
Castlevania is officially getting a season 4, motherfuckers! And I’m goddamn all-in! ‘Cause as lukewarm as I was on the second season, I’m throbbing hot for the third.
‘DOOM Eternal’ had best launch in franchise history. Rip and fucking tear the sales charts!
DOOM Eternal is equal parts fun and frustrating for me. I think I may be too old for its twitchiness, but I think I’m just dealing with a steep fucking learning curve. That said, I’m glad that it had the best launch in franchise history. Such brutality and unapologetic heavy metal thunder needs to be rewarded.
Weekend Open Bar: Ooh, LA LA, (ah, oui oui)
By god! It’s the Weekend! But, what the fuck is the weekend during The Plague? A valid question, honestly. Maybe a lazy question, too. ‘Cause despite working from home, I’ve been goddamn busy. So this weekend is going to be a nice respite from the hectic work schedule.
Get in a little gaming.
Smoke a little weed.
Hang with you fuckers on the stream.
George Miller hopes to start filming ‘Mad Max’ Furiosa movie in 2021. Dude has met with Anya Taylor-Joy, too! Let’s fucking go!
George Miller better get a fucking move on with this Mad Max spin-off starring Furiosa. If dude waits any longer, the actual apocalypse gonna arrive first. But! Should he outrace said apocalypse? His movie could be starring Anya Taylor-Joy. I can absolutely fuck with this.
