Denzel Washington turns down ‘FAST & FURIOUS 7’ ROLE. YOUR LOSS, DUDE.
This sort of aggression will not stand, mannn. Denzel Washington turned down a role in the sequel to this year’s empirically greatest, most testicle-caressing philosophical adventure. Ya’ll know the one I’m talking about. And this, Denzel. This makes you an uber-jabroni.
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FIONA STAPLES cuts GORGEOUS ART for a Time Magazine article about ‘SAGA.’
Hnng. Fiona Staples artwork is lovely. Dare I say, nonpareil? I just wanted to use that word. Probably incorrectly, too. So uh whatever. Anyways! There is an article in Time Magazine about Saga, and the brilliant Staples cut a little bit of awesome artwork for the commemoration.
It’s totally the berries.
Hit the jump to check for the full image. Plus! More info.
THREE ‘AVATAR’ SEQUELS are coming. MEDIOCRITY IN DROVES starting in 2016.
What’s worse than one Avatar sequel? Why, three! James Cameron has hired a legion of writers to help pumping out scripts for the three movies. Nothing says inspiration like churning out a factory of mediocre scripts from a variety of people! Jimmy Cameron must really be feeling this Pandora adventure. Or three!
NEW ‘THOR: THE DARK WORLD’ POSTER features LIKE EVERYONE. Brooding and shit.
Thunder, and lightning, and Thor’s hair is sexy as fuck. Here is the new poster for Thor and Loki Team-Up and Trust One Another, and it has like roughly everyone under the Asgardian sun (suns?) on its face.
Cosplay: ATOMIC WONDER WOMAN is ready to CHAINSAW YOUR FACE.
Atomic Wonder Woman is ready to chainsaw your fucking face. Right off. Grind it up into bloody giblets and fling them into the stratosphere. Don’t protest too much, we both know you’ve earned this sentence into oblivion.
FRANK MILLER and ZACK SNYDER meeting over ‘SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN.’ Ugh?
So an overrated, under-talented hack of a director and a washed-up, ideologically shifted writer walk into a bar. That’s uh, that’s all I got. Oh, I guess I could say this: I could not give less of a fuck about Frank Miller and Zack Snyder meeting to discuss how the former is going to shit all over the buttocks of the latter’s seminal work. You know, in an attempt to pay homage. Or be inspired by it. Or whatever.
CLIFF BLESZINSKI teases NEXT PROJECT with SOMETHING LIKE AN IMAGE.
DUDE HUGE has teased us with a glimpse at his NEXT FUCKING PROJECT. The image itself doesn’t really do anything for me. I imagine it doesn’t do much for anyone. However, what it represents is something special. It works deep into my testicles, tingling them and reminding them of a gaming world where HUGE DUDES canvassed the Earth. The gaming industry is much more lively when CliffyB is dropping games on our asses. In our asses. Everywhere.
Hit the jump for more info. Oh, and the image.
ROB LOWE and RASHIDA JONES leaving ‘PARKS AND REC’ next season. Literally sad, man.
Whaaa? How dare these two wonderful people leave one of my favorite shows? I mean. Fuck. Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones leaving Parks and Rec? More like my heart is PARKS and WRECKED! Ha! Get it? Oh whateverfuckyou.
‘AMERICAN HUSTLE’ TRAILER: Thieving Thieves and Rockin’ Haircuts
Here’s the trailer David O. Russel’s latest jam, American Hustle. The trailer doesn’t feature much in the way of exposition but eh, who fucking cares? Tired of seeing trailers that spit out the entire premise. Instead we’re treated to Christian Bale with righteous shitty hair, Amy Adams in a swimsuit, and Led Zepplin. A fairest of trades.
Hit the jump to check it out.
‘STAR WARS EPISODE VII’ PRODUCTION TITLE REVEALED. Shooting in August. Maybe.
Yum! Yum! Yum! I am the Star Wars swine! I gobble up every morsel of Star Wars news. Turn away appalled as I gnash my teeth, getting gristle and grease up and down my jowls. Turn away as I rub the remnants of the non-news all over my sores-besieged corpus in a state of near arousal.
