Evangelion. One of my many sources for being a whiny, existentially angsty douche during my teenage years. Long have I longed to watch it again in high-definition, on a piece of modern technology. Cause like, the remake movies sort of suck, and I miss it. The time!, the time has come.

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In a world of ever-expansive media hype, it takes more and more to garner the ocular-mush plates of us pop culture whores. We must be herded, constantly, like fucking goats. So it’s come down to this, and I’m wallowing in it like a pig and shit: announcements that announcements are coming.

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Don’t make Mike Ehrmantraut angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. #LazyText #ImTired

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Hey friends. Today was a rockier commute than usual. The long, long weekend giving way to a long, long drive into Boston. Long, long silences when I tried to drag effort out of my students like poison from a wound. But I can’t blame them, because fuck this semester has been going on for a long, long three months. My head is pounding. My stomach is seething after a day of daring to fill it with food products that are neither slathered in gravy, nor cheese. Still. The Column-Spice must flow.

So.

These — these are the various things I’m looking forward to this week. That I shall latch onto, not unlike a tick. And hopefully suck the life-blood out of, allowing me to not call out sick. Which would follow with me festering under a blanket. Eating my weight in Laffy Taffy. I can do this. You can do this. We can do this.

Welcome to Monday Morning Commute.

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Fuck, yo. If nature ain’t a real fucking gorgeous son of a gun. And goddamn if it doesn’t chap my ass that I can’t get out to places with the necessary lighting to peep me a look at the Milky Way Galaxy. It seems that luckier, more talented people will have to continue to bring me looks.

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Fucking sucks that Parks and Rec is ending, man. But it’ll end good. Fucking sucks that NBC is moving the show to Tuesdays for its final season, and pumping out the episodes two at a time. Burning right through them. Over in seven fucking weeks. But I’ll enjoy them.

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I don’t know why, but the idea of Jared Leto playing The Joker does the seemingly impossible for me. It makes me actually care about something going on in the DC cinematic universe. I know — I know — I’m probably alone.

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Oh boy! This podcast is either going to be the sort of pornographic geekery (not literally, but like, getting your dork glands swelling) you’re looking for, or an unbearable fusillade of Star Wars Dickhead Loser Hype. Either way, we hope you check this installment out. This is our best sounding podcast yet, buffeted by $500 in new audio equipment. Aside from the obvious fluids-spilling meditations on The Force Awakens, this podcast features Rendar’s Venture Start-Up, Caff dropping deuces on Interstellar, Bateman’s butt, and another mutual circle jerk over Michael Keaton’s saggy tits in Birdman. Join us. Become us. Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Listen on iTunes or after the jump.

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The Force Awakens‘ trailer aroused many a big question when it dropped yesterday. One of the biggest questions was regarding the identity of the menacing, mysterious, murky narrator. Just who the fuck was it? Well, I’ve done some sleuthing. Some serious research. And I’ve figured it out. By uh, waiting for every other legitimate site do t legwork for me.

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Taking a brief (BRIEF) reprieve from my The Force Awakens Seminal Fluid Tidal Wave to post this batch of dope cosplay. Take the future BioWare extravaganza and focus it through the delicious lens of Dragon Age.

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