‘TWINS’ Sequel ‘TRIPLETS’ In Works. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito…And Eddie Murphy. The F**k.
The Schwarzenegger and DeVito jam Twins is a warm fuzzy memory from my childhood. Like almost all the other films from my childhood that were fuzzy memories, Hollywood now seems intent on plopping a dollop of feces right upon it.
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China’s URINE-BOILED EGGS Push My Multicultural Understanding
I think I’m a pretty open-minded dude. Peace, love, and respect of one another’s cultures, man. Or at least I thought I was. ‘Cause now I’m staring at a batch of a Chinese delicacy and wondering just what the fuck in tarnation is going on here. Urine-boiled eggs, also referred to as Virgin Boy Eggs. Wut.
‘ASSASSIN’S CREED 3’ Pre-Orders Setting Records. The Groan Of The Marketing Machine
The marketing machine for Assassin’s Creed 3 is vomiting out press release, commercial, and info at obscene rates. Ubisoft is shoving it down our gullets and gleefully clapping as it falls out our ass, half-chewed. All of this nonsense is paying dividends for the swine.
Warner Bros. Reveals ‘MAN OF STEEL’ BANNER. Kneel Before Something…Such.
Goddamn Warner Bros. getting me up off the comforts of my couch far past when I want to be vomiting to you. They went and dropped the banner for the upcoming Zack Snyder Vomitfest Superman Reboot, Man of Steel. Yeah, it’s okay or something. I’m going back to my cold Diet Dew and the sporting events.
New Pics Of Robert Pattinson, Paul Giamatti And Juliette Binoche In Cronenberg’s ‘COSMOPOLIS’. I’m Ready.
I can’t wait for Cronenberg’s next effort Cosmopolis. 2012 could be accurately describe as “the year Caff-Pow become utterly insane with butt-lust for Carpenter and Cronenberg”, and these pictures have me taping my TV controller to my head and screaming “Long live the new flesh!” while the neighbors gaze in horror into my yard.
Physicists Add 11 Colors To The Rainbow By Ripping Apart Atoms.
They’re fucking up my box of crayons! Physicists have dared defy the contents of making a children’s room and my underwater unicorn dungeon by generating eleven new hues.
Charlie Kaufman Got Himself A Debut NOVEL. Prepare For Mind-Warp.
I wasn’t expecting this. Charlie Kaufman, the mind behind Eternal Sunshine, Adaptation, Being John… and others is dropping a novel on our asses. Prepare for the META-BOMB, a tool of destruction that Kaufman wields with aplomb.
‘HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET’ TRAILER: Jennifer Lawrence. ‘Nuff Said. #PigMode
I know I’m not exactly classing it up with the animated gif above. I can’t help it. I’m smitten like a raving lunatic. Still live-blogging from inside Jennifer Lawrence’s toilet. They smell golden, yo. They smell golden. Watch the trailer. Do it. Or Imma cut you.
‘THE DARK KNIGHT RISES’ Trailer Goes LEGO.
This is an impressive homage right here. I don’t have the talent to actually construct a LEGO set. Even using the directions. I get annoyed quickly, eat three or four of them, and sit in the corner waiting for either my asphyxiation or painful bowel movement. So I can’t even fathom undertaking this recreation of The Dark Knight Rises trailer using only those sexy little blocks.
