China’s URINE-BOILED EGGS Push My Multicultural Understanding
I think I’m a pretty open-minded dude. Peace, love, and respect of one another’s cultures, man. Or at least I thought I was. ‘Cause now I’m staring at a batch of a Chinese delicacy and wondering just what the fuck in tarnation is going on here. Urine-boiled eggs, also referred to as Virgin Boy Eggs. Wut.
If there’s one thing the city of Dongyang is famous for, it’s the town’s local delicacy–Virgin Boy Eggs. No, they aren’t the the testicles of children as one might guess, just regular chicken eggs…that have been boiled and steeped in the urine of elementary school students.
The recipe for Virgin Boy Eggs is quite simple really. One first collects a bucket of piddle from the local primary school. Only the water of boys under the age of ten is suitable. Virgin Boy Eggs are first soaked in in a pot of urine, then brought to a boil. Once firm, the eggs’ shells are cracked to allow fuller penetration, and bathed regularly through out the day with fresh piss to prevent them from overheating.
Don’t turn up your nose at the VBE, it’s a hot commodity in Dongyang. People actively compete to obtain the widdle and street vendors can turn a tidy profit from selling them on the street–some vendors have been in business for decades. Each treated egg fetches about $0.25, roughly four times the amount of a regular egg. And according to Chinese tradition, a VBE provides improved blood circulation, invigoration and even prevents heat stroke.
I get heat stroke like a mofuckah’ on occasion. My face gets beet red, the headache kicks in. I’m willing to try a variety of maladies to fix this, but crushing an egg that was boiled in a boy’s piss isn’t one of them. Color me a close-minded ‘Merican!